This topic contains 17 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Wilbur 6 years, 5 months ago.

"The War"

  • Perry sayz…Now that the elections are over, who will,”Rescue Me”?

    I might make it into a novel, maybe. If Scott would let me. I’m not sure if he would. I’m working on a scenario for Gen. Siglerismo. 🙂

    I liked the update. It was better. You still need to explain what the c4 set off that killed all of the subordinates. The story is deffinatly coming along well. I’d like to hear more about the characters and their backgrounds. I also think it would be a good idea to have the story told from several points of view, maybe other soldiers in different parts of the world, or civilians that are trying to find safety or even civilians that decide to take up arms in the defense of their world. Also one good part to expand on would be the siglerismo’s army that comes in, you only mention it once in the begining and say that it saved the world but don’t get into any detail. I dont know if you’ve considered this yet, but with what you have already written, you have a basic layout of a story line, you could easily take what’s been written and turn it into a novel (with permission from certain people such as Scott sigler himself) or just expand on it a little father than it is now and make it a sort of long version of a short story, not sure if that could be considered a short story any more then but you get the idea. So just take some of the information that I’ve given you and use it as needed and ask if you need anymore and you’ll have one hell of story. Personally I liked it want some and I’m sure others would to. Good luck to you and happy new years!

    Oh another thing, just refresh the page to see any changes and/or edits. I’m working on it right now.

    Yup “aa12 death scene” revision is done. Let me know what you think. Now I can start outlining the rest of the story since Ric’s death scene sets the tone for the rest of the story.

    That sounds great. Also the ammo pack does make sense, it’s also a really good idea, I do believe that they have currently have a prototype of sorts that is being issued in Afghanistan to be used by the soldiers that carry the m240 light machinegun. The gun is very heavy and fires the large 308. Bullet, which makes the ammunition very heavy to carry and they usually can only carry around 300 rounds, it might be more but not by much, the new carrier allows a soldier to carry upwards of 600 rounds of ammunition in one continuos belt that is carried on Their backs. Now if you ask me that is a hell of a lot of firepower.

    The guy was wearing an ammo pack on his back, but you’re right, the clip by itself wouldn’t be enough. 🙂 The stun slugs just gave me the idea for the scene rewrite! Thanks! I’m also going to start re-outlining for 250 years past contagious events instead of 50, the whole story will make more sense that way too.

    That would be a good idea. But the thing about c4 is, it doesn’t produce heat flame, but a lager concussive blast. There is some flame but not enough to melt much of anything. C4 also doesn’t explode of light it on fire in small amounts, it just burns a lot an puts off heat. Also on your references to the aa12. The aa12 is a fully automatic shotgun, that can use a variety of different types of 12 gauge shotgun ammunition , one of these is a small grenade type slug, but the small explosion is not powerful enough to blast a person to bits, while it can blow of limbs and leave a large hole in a person, it is used mostly for breaching heavily reinforced doors and delivering smaller explosive charges through walls into rooms or buildings filled with known hostiles. I do believe that the highest capacity magazine for an aa12 holds about 24 shells. So it would not be able able to decimate a ki like it says, but it would still be highly effective against one, but the would be best used against subordinates in the event that the operator has time to switch magazines to the grenade shells and take aim, probably in a defensive situation or while taking an overwatch position. Another good type of ammunition to use would be the special designed stun slugs. I can’t remember the name of them, but I can tell you some about them. For one they don’t have the best range on them but they still can be used to take down a hostile non lethally from a distance. They look almost like small fat and short torpedoes that have two small darts sticking out the front. Each shotgun shell holds one of these slugs. When the slug exits the barrel of the gun little fins unfold from it and help stabilize it for a flatter more accurate trajectory(the same happens for the grenade ones to). When the slug hits the assailant, the two barbs stick into the flesh and get stuck, the main body of the slug falls away connected to the barbs by wires, the slug delivers an electrical charge to the barbs through said wires effectively subduing the target. I’m not if they would work on subordinates as intended because they are dead, but if anything the electrical sugrs could still send their bodies into spasms and convulsions. I’m not sure I all of this is of use to you but I’m sure that some will be. If you you need to anything about different firearms or equipment wether it be about the specs of it or the effectiveness or even it’s uses, just ask me and I will see what information I can give you.

    The subordinates died as a result of the Kii and an object I need to add being destroyed. Actually, the Kii didn’t blow up, the heat from the C4 explosion cooked him in his own armor. I’ll make that more clear as I revise the story.

    Well before you go adding in all theses different sciency type things, just remember to research them. You should also research some of the weaponry that you refer to so as to better understand how it all works and the actual effects that it has or how it affects the story line, I noticed a few mistakes made in reference to some of the weapons wether it was in power or function, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Such as the part with the c4. You said it blew up the ki and all the subordinates around it, for that to happen you’d need a hell of a lot c4. So you might to look into that more.

    One idea behind this piece of fanfic is that the human race are far more technologically advanced then Scott’s writings indicated… a mirror universe if you will. I’m not saying that corrections aren’t forthcoming, they are just have no clue when just yet.

    Glad to help out. Can’t wait to read the new version. Good luck.

    Thanks Sarge! Yeah it’s in bad need of a revision but I’m working long hours so time is a currency I don’t have much of these days but thanks for reading!

    Wow that was pretty good. It needs to be revised a bit and a few corrections need to be made, but im sure that once you do that you could make it a bit a longer. Other than that I liked it. It gives a good insight into one of the many possibilities of what could have happened.

    I hope they are. hehe

    Awesome! I don’t have time to read it right now, but hopefully some other Junkies can check it out. Back to THE MVP …

    This is something I finished up a long time ago. It’s about Earth’s first and only fight back against the Kreterakians, taking place about 50 years after the events in Contagious. Hope you like it and thanks for reading it. 🙂

    This link will let you read it in my Google Docs. Enjoy! 🙂

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.