This topic contains 103 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  J.P. 9 years, 1 month ago.

If you HAD to be killed by Scott Sigler, how would you want to go?

  • I didn’t do it. It wasn’t my fault. You can’t prove anything. And leave my “what” out of this!

    – “I just did something involuntary. And messy.” – Sid

    and then hit with his what

    ..No Bounce..

    …No Play…

    this happens a lot around here–you’re gonna fit right in! (OK, it’s not usually Bon Jovi, but he’s no worse than most of the silliness that spontaneously spews out from folks…)

    – “I just did something involuntary. And messy.” – Sid

    And the FDO’s to blame…

    He gives killing…

    A Good Name.

    (Sorry… Bon Jovi suddenly hit the back of my brain like a shovel across a zombie.)

    I know some people who would pay for a tape…lol

    "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

    General George S. Patton Jr.

    Internal explosion. Blood everywhere. Somebody choking on part of my intestines and dying too would be a plus

    -The OSU vs. Michigan game. 800 years of tradition and the rivalry is still strong as ever

    I wouldn’t even want to watch! 

    ..No Bounce..

    …No Play…

    hell if it taste like chicken,bring me chicken!

                                                        rodney carigton


    “[No matter where you go, there you are] – And Sigler knows exactly where there is! ”

    I put what I ment….. Can you think of a worse way to die?

    "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

    General George S. Patton Jr.

    i’d want to go out epically. Like Rob zombie, or Dahmer epic. I want my head to stick around for a while, you know what i mean?

    If Scott had to kill me, I would want to die going hand to hand with a nocturnal.

    By the way, Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Like your in bed surrounded by 40 yr women who actually want you and your tongues sore, your fingers useless due to arthritis and you’ve run out of Viagra!

    “I still can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.”

    And then Killed by Ancestors? Man I would hope it would be the other way around! 

    “I still can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.”

    in a horrific car accident in a Exotic sports car while doing rockstar lines off a supermodels tits

    In the immortal words of Socrates "I Drank What?!"

    Walking in one of the fine drinking establishments around anfield with an everton shirt on and shout Gerrards a poof, I think I can take out at least twenty before I am pulled down like a lion being eaten by ants. 

    p.s apologies for the anglocentric nature

    Your own reality Broker

    hell if it taste like chicken,bring me chicken!

                                                        rodney carigton

     bu1rd gu11 n8

    I’d like to take a swing at what ever horrifying creature I’m faced with and just before it lands home the wet crakpow of bone shattering and anotherone puts its clawed hand through my back and out my chest.

    but I’m sure the FDO can give a better more suiting death than anything I can come up with.

    B14i>35 0/3r BI_I11375 B1+<I-I3Z!

    If my beloved FDO could send me from this mortal existance, I would prefer to be slashed to death by a rocktopi, then have my body dedicated to science where part of my DNA would be used and live on in an Ancestor baby.  But alas, my DNA based Ancestor is captured by one of Marie’s children and I’m finally made into h’ors d’oeuvres. 

    Life’s a bitch, wear a helmet!

    a helicopter from 500ft off the ground…and then he shoots a rocket so that it hits me and i explode inches from hitting the ground

    All your bad and all your good theyd kill eachother if they could- GWAR

     Quite a nice sentiment….but if Siglerism were a sport, your death of choice would be a major foul or a well deserved penalty shot.  Please ensure further death choices are suitably horrific.  Thank you!

    ~~~ mwhuahahahahaha … so it’s, you know, coming along ~~~~~~~

    I guess being molested and then killed by Ancestors

    "Freedom isn’t free." Virak the Mean

    North Carolina is where Sigler belongs….

    I would probably like Scott to kill me off in an extremely bloody exhibitionist style.

    heyyy! I used to get omni mag back in the day.. one of the stories still haunts me sometimes.. gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking of it.

    Baby McButter is always Hungry…

    Now go back to your room and don’t come out until you can come up with something a bit more Siglerish. Like being eaten alive by fireants after Kayla buries you in the sand and pours honey over your head.  

    Just Dew it!

    sir your bleeding i don’t have time to bleed do you have time to duck?

    85 years old in warm bed surrounded by loved ones.

     scott just picked my name out of the sigler hat to be a main charecter in the crypt as prvt John b Bennett    i cannot wait to see if he bites it or makes it through

    sir your bleeding i don’t have time to bleed do you have time to duck?

    It went online only several years ago and kinda died out after that.

    Back in the day, I didn’t realize who published it. I actually have the first 3 years or so in a box. Somewhere. I”m not even sure if they’re still the magazine (Omni, not Penthouse) is still being published.

    – “Everything takes longer than it does.” -Me

    Published by Penthouse. Pure science and science fiction. I still have a first copy with the Rockwell iron on in the middle.

    I’m replying to my own post–probably some sort of foul. The story I referred to is called “A Thousand Deaths” by Orson Scott Card. It was published in Omni Magazine in 1978 (so I hear–certainly I’m not that old…) as a novella. I highly recommend it to any who can put their hands on a copy. It’s a fantastic story.

    – “Everything takes longer than it does.” -Me


    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

    ["No matter where you go, there you are"] – And Sigler always knows where there is!

    on one of their table things.


    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

    Nothing like a little mass and length dilation to wind up a busy day! Old Newton sure rocked in his day!

    – Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt. (I have jerks like you for breakfast.)

    I don’t think our beloved FDO could write my dream death. It’d be like Jesus heating up a burrito so hot, even he couldn’t eat it. (That’s assuming you believe in Jesus, and that he’s all powerful and can do anything. But you get the anaology) 

    It’s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

    Devoured by a Ki or crushed by a few quiffwarriers

    Things go wrong and that is how we learn

    I’m pretty sure the question asks how you want Sig to kill you. Are you suggesting Lucy Lui is actually Scott Sigler??? Oh gawd! Noooooooo!!!

    – Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt. (I have jerks like you for breakfast.)

    but if He were to choose otherwise that would be fine by me 

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    pure & simple

    That’s a little weird. But whatever floats your boat. 

    ….I love fluffy bunnies


    how about drinkin yourself to death??? or jwhat if you were drinkin shit laced with pcp? then ur gonna be eaten by homocidal clowns! YAY!

     a triangle diet from hell i would at least AT THE LEAST would want to have 20 to 30 lil blue bitches on me then to have a run in with non other than perry dawsy,duke it out only to have my skull caved in so that i would not die but be studied and prodded by a bunch of lab coats untill the hatching so that my lil hitchhikers could comune with perry and get his dander up  

    TEXANS unite bring the dark overlord to his true home

    what’s wrong with a bit of senseless violence to a lemming?

    they’re only going to walk off a cliff.

     Mommy  needs new men for the grooms walk….and from what I’ve heard so far  She is  Some HOT Mama!!
    Maybe he’ll use your name for a new victim.
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Flags you as one of the truly disturbed ones.  Of course, I knew it to, so what does that make me?

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    I wouldn’t mind dieing while getting laid by any hot girl.

    You are atleast going out with your boots on man..

    well personally, boring as it may seem, i would prefer to be shagged to death by lucy lui, but i guess thats just me being wierd, sorry

    What wolf?

    Live ‘autopsy’ is called vivisection.

    It’s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

    I would hope to be one of the good guys, taking as many bad guys with me as possible. "You know, that Wolf was a real hero" and all that.

    anything but old age

    I’d only hope that if your dear FDO did kill me that it would be in the most gruesome, cringe inducing way ever. Like so horrific that even he’d cringe as he was writing it.  

    It’s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

    Me too, me too, me too! I sure love me some defenestration! BTW, I remember a great story I read in the first or second issue of Omni Magazine (a Sci Fi mag–not sure if it’s still in print). The magazine was originally supposed to be called “Nova” but they changed the name early on. The story was about a convict who was sentenced to serve multiple deaths. Wow. They cloned him, then kept killing him and transferring the memory of his death to the next clone in line. Very graphic; very good, as I recall. Now I guess I need to go find the story again!

    – Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt. (I have jerks like you for breakfast.)

    I think  that an epic way to get destroyed would be having my body strewn out across the house…..

    heres’ how it would happen:

    A) the fingers would be dismembered knuckle by knuckle. Salt would be put on the wounds to prevent bleeding to death.

    B) Next would be the toes with salt in the wound.

    C) the body would be thrown upon a table where sigler would begin to perform an autopsy on the live victim.

    whatever the details, it HAS to involve chicken. Scissors……

    Shit man, hope it never happens 🙂

    Defenestration….from at least 10 stories. Need to ensure maximum splatter

    sitting at home alone late one night, listening to Nocturnal, a slight noise, a shuffle, I look up, OH MY GOD, and just like in those dreams where you’re running and don’t move, screaming and don’t make a sound. I’m trying to get away and no matter what, it keeps coming after me, like the termanator, never stops, so no matter what I do it is chasing me down. I can’t get away, there is no place to hide, it’s getting closer and closer, I can smell it, I can feel it’s wet breath on my neck, and before I can even feel what’s happened to my body, I seem to be lying on the ground looking up at some …. THING….as it . chews on a disembodied hand….with a ring….. just like mine ……..
    O.K. that’s It …I am a goner.

    I’m with cgallo – I wan an honorably defiant death takin’ out the bad guys to the end when the least expect it.
    At first, they think I’m running away but then I turn with an eveil grin on my lips as I pull the pin out of a mondo-grenade and blow all of us to dust while my comrades escape to fight another day…

    Something cheesily heroic like that would be kewl.

    long and lingering death…………..

    the voices prayer for that
    It’s all about the Numbers, my friends
    The Math god

    I seem to remember someone getting it via wood chipper in a Sopranos episode.

    If there’s snow on the ground, it kinda adds to the effect 😉


    Slow and sready, over the span of many chapters.

    “The spread of evil is the symptom of a vacuum. whenever evil wins, it is only by default: by the moral failure of those who evade the fact that there can be no compromise on basic principles.”

    fighting the good fight. Picture the scene in Aliens when Vasquez and Gorman are are crawling through the ducts bringing up the rear,protecting the civilians. Sacrificing one self to protect another especially when you know you have a snowballs chance in hell to survive would the way I would want to go out.

    Pulled into the event horizon of a black hole…In that way Id truly be eternal

    A friend, who knows I’m frugal, said if he ever wanted to kill me He would hire the lowest priced hit man. I think I would rather go in a more traditional way like getting FUBR from the external crank and then run over buy a vintage tractor or Model T or A Ford. Or eaten by a Black Panther.

    Thermonuclearpenguin thinks that a death with out consequence is the worst way to go. In addition irony must be in play. Example. Because of growing fear and distain of society Thermonuclearpenguin moves to the Northwest Territories in Canada, near the artic circle. He settles in a nice little valley where the nearest neighbor is 50 miles away. After building his eco-friendly home using only prefelled trees and sod, he sits on the porch watching all the little creatures of the forest living their lives simply when WHAM!! the first A380 flight using the polar route from Seattle to Amsterdam augers in right on top of him.

    The flight was brought down by an 8 year old girl watching a Barbie teaches manners bluRay disc on a player that disrupts the electrical system and fries the aircrafts control system. Locking the aircraft in a nose dive under full power.

    Ya, thats how he would like to go, uselessly.

    Think Like A Mob.

    Though you may be one you are powerful, take that power and change the world.

    Men have been known to stick thier pricks in any thing, mom’s old hoover, a warm cantalope, just look on the interweb if thats not sick/entertaining enough for you. Hey! Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!!! This was my mind frame at the local hore house. Then again not so local if you count how many lightyears away from Earth this planet is. Anyway after a victory celebration of the Galatic football league, fine alien drinks and smokes, my curiousity has been peaked. (forgive my spelling, it’s hard to type and jackoff at the same time.) And the locals are just as curious. You see, human men have the third largest genetillia of all the known spieces in the galaxy. Truthfully I’m glad to be number three when number one is never erect and two has no sensitive nerves so sex serves only one purpose, to breed. Well I was now surrounded alein hookers of differnt spieces. I was also too drunk/stoned to care. Only a few speak poor and broken english. A question is asked. I understood clearly. “Is it true what they say about BLACK Earth men?” I can show you alot better then I can tell you was my reply. I’m swarmed. No one even mentioned price. I remember thinking is no longer about fun. No I had a purpose. This is for blackmen. No, no this for all the men in Texas, no for all the men in America. No the pride of Earth. Before I passed out I was thinking, I’m doing more for intergalatic relations in one night then most of our world leaders do in a lifetime. (Can you imagine Ron Jeremy getting the Noble Peace Prize?) I woke up that morning to numbness and few dark spots between my legs. By evening the spots had multiplied and where spreading. Numbness turned to soreness. Soreness turned to pain. I made it to the team Doctor. Whom after a couple of days of anlazing my symptoms. Informed me that I have an alien disease equivalent to the clap. But have had no documented cases of human infection. Thus no cure. My body now is just one big bloody sore. Pain meds are as about as much help as taking two asprins before open heart surgery. I don’t think I’ll make through the night. But the ladies are here. A few shed tears.

    Ok! Ok! I know. Leave the story taleing to Scott. But If he could some how work alien puzzy in to my death, I’d be a proud dead black man. lmao

    By fire, taking the as many of the little bastards as I can. With no other option and access to some type of flammables, fire bombs/Malakoff cocktails. Come to me you smelly bastards, let me introduce you to my little friends. Then there is always the ultimate death AFM (Air Fuel Munitions).

    There is no problem that cannot be solved with the appropriate application of high explosives.

    Stay Drenched in Blood Brother

    Hey its accessible, effective, gory and bloody.

    Can’t beat that!

    I’d want to go down holding off the hoards in a heroic rear guard action. An explosion would be nice but I would also settle for being crushed in the jaws of some terrible creature like in Ancestor.

    …to choose the method of my demise. Only the master of gore and death, Herr Sigler, can make that decision. If I had to add a little input/twist, it should involve DANGEROUS TOYS!!!

    BBQ……now that gets the creative juices flowing……….

    The Math god

    vivisection, while kept alive
    (has something to do with symmetry)

    The Math god

    In a compromising position with an attractive… kid reads these forums… you fill in the blanks.

    The only proper way to go by sigler is heavy mutliation. but a fall that snaps me in half onto a street with lots of pedestrian trafic.
    also i would like to go the way the reporter did in hot fuzz.

    “What do you mean there’s nothing i can do, you mean im hooked on Scott Sigler’s podcast novels… im… a junkie…”- me

    I’d like to die in a big vat of warm chocolate – multiple blows to my head caused by dropping Hershey kisses makes me pass out and …

    oh… sorry, you wanted to know how Sigler should kill me. My bad.

    Tastes Like Chicken

    Hmmm. Thats a tough one. But crescent knives or being silverbug bait comes to mind

    ——–My Body Thinks My Mind Is Crazy.

    Anything with explosives.

    Mike–its due to my ideas.—>

    Man, I don’t think I can think of something as geursome as The High One can, all I want is that the very discription of my death causing grown men to cry, and little children to puke their guts out.

    I wish I was an antibody, and you were a bacterium, then I could blow you away with my completment.

    Well, If I had a choice . . . and that’s a big if with Herr Sigler, I would like to go out in a blaze of glory trying to take out a Nocturnal with an incendiary grenade. Anyone for BBQ?

    My only request is that it would be sufficiently awesome. I just don’t want something stupid to happen, like a member of my team accidentally shoot me in the back while firing at a Nocturnal.

    How would I like to be killed by Scott — that is a tough question but I’m sure that I can think of something –
    I would like to be killed slowly by various types of toture techniques used by ancient cultures. Bamboo under the fingernails, small incisions all over my body, some bones being broken

    Being skinned, salted then kept for something nasty later would not be up there on my favorite ways to die list. Also my final destination death of choice would be getting impaled on someone’s compound fracture.

    I would only allow my self to die if it is for the good of the Sigler Regime!

    Since I’m a blogger I’d like to have Pookie as a closet fan. Never communicated to anyone that he likes my stuff. We’ve never met. As I’m an hor’ derv for something, I’m not found, little blood. They come get me and I have a heart attack and die without them having to slice and dice me. But Pookie misses me because I comfort him by thinking of sicker things than he does. (Hey, I can have an overblown sense of self-importance here too, right?). Just use s13cybergal as my i.d. in novel. Thanks. You are amazing.

    s13cybergal, an OJ with a walker.
    You can’t forget that Scott!

    I would prefer a elaborate death, something that not even Final Destination would believe, which would result in extreme slow pain. Cause come on, this is Sigler who is killing me, might as well enjoy the time im alive…

    Sanity is just a Limitation

    I’d want something long and elaborate the type of death that makes you go “what are the odds…” either that or slow death by disease. Suicide also works like jumping off a cliff with a noose around your neck after drinking poison and lighting yourself on fire. Then on the way down you try to shoot yourself but miss hit the rope land in the water thats so cold it makes you throw up and puts out the fire then your resqued by a fisherman brought to a hospital where you later die of hypothermia. (true story I read it in a calander)


    jeez… That scares me, too, bro! Let me guess, Children of the Corn isn’t high on your favorite movie list.

    I wonder, Billy…. izzit just a fear of children, or is there also a fear of commitment hidden in that nightmare?

    Happy Halloween


    I have had the same nightmare death scene play over and over. I am fully conscious but unable to move, can’t even close my eyes. And I’m being eaten alive by a group of children. I feel the pressure of tiny incisors splitting my skin and tearing out hunks of drippings meat. I pray that I lose enough blood to pass out so I don’t have to feel anything anymore, when they tear into my gut and begin pulling my intestines out of me.

    Children are scary!! If Sigler were to do it, I’d rather take a large caliber shell to the braincase. Quick and messy.

    a wood chipper? that’s nasty, bro!


    Explosive shits from some nerve gas that made me go on a killing bender with my teeth. I bite into the last persons neck then howl with rage and pain before my distended gut goes off like a fecal nuke. It spreads from there.

    Pain is the teacher and fear is the key.

    Anything that has to do with being dismembered or being blown up.

    Uhhh, would someone please change my fluid? Hello??

    Chicken Scissors.

    wood chipper!

    I’d like to be killed by a herd of geneticly manipulated,rabbid,pissed, Hedgehogs.If you have ever seen a normal Hedgehog angry, you know what I mean.

    Razor teeth,Needle sharp Quills,Twenty tearing Claws. A sepecies worthy of a “sigler”ing.

    Assuming I’m not mauled in Noctural (on the off chance i win the ontest), the I’d like to go out in a blaze of glory fighting my child-like genocidal manic buddies, the Sklorno. The Quyth are a close second though.

    –Denver 4 President–

    The Irishman from Ohio”I never Get to Get it!”-Wacko Warner
    Death by rail gun. Being hit by a round from a rail gun with a “lighting in a bottle” power source would be messie. Or a death by giving a critter near fatal pains from excessive gas. Yeah, being killed by a rail gun, while my remains give a omnivor nightmarish shits and drizzles and gas from hell.

    Probably from Sigler-Withdrawls……that’s how I would die…….not my ideal death, but still…..

    That is a “nice” way to go. Though it sounds more like how Hutch (there! I said it again!) would kill youse.

    “as the hero looks away in agony” — very good touch


    How about, torn to pieces by a pack of rabid dogs….

    Just wondering what the junkies had in mind for how they would like to be killed by Mr. Sigler.

    Myself, I would prefer some sort of dismemberment or drawing-and-quartering.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.