If you’ve read my novel NOCTURNAL, you may recall the character Pookie Chang’s idea for a cop show. Like HILL STREET BLUES, BLUE BLOODS, NYPD BLUE, ROOKIE BLUE, SHADES OF BLUE, etc., Pooks decided his show should have that color as a titular part of the title. Hence, BLUE BALLS.

In NOCTURNAL, Pookie might be considered the sidekick to Bryan Clauser’s lead character. In BLUE BALLS, which Pookie writes as a spec script to sell to network TV, he is the heroic lead, and Bryan is the bumbling also-ran. Pookie’s buddy cop script plays on many cop-show tropes.

For the past three SiglerFests, we’ve live-recorded a portion of Pookie’s script for Season One, Episode 2, titles “Dolla Dolla Bills, Y’All.” Attendees get to read most of the parts. My plan was to release them as individual episodes leading up to SiglerFest2k18, but I screwed up last year’s recording (I paused it at one point, then forgot to continue it), and for the life of me I can’t find the SiglerFest2k16 recording.

So, my pal Stephen King (no, not that Stephen King, and yes, that is his name) gathered up some of his actor pals and we recorded the entire pilot script as a live table read. Many props to Iceberg, our editor, for putting this together.

http://media.blubrry.com/scottsigler/media.libsyn.com/scottsigler/39_StorySmack_39_BLUE_BALLS_S1E2.mp3

If you know screenwriting, you might notice some painful script clichés in here. Blame it on Pookie — he’s an amateur.

This script is off-color (no pun intended) and rather “blue” (pun intended) in its humor. We hope you enjoy it.

We’ll be recording Part I of BLUE BALLS, Season One, Episode Three at SiglerFest2k18.

Where is Episode One, you might ask? You’d have to ask Pookie. Maybe you buy him some Kung Pao shrimp and a nice bottle of bubbly, and you can talk him into it …

Don’t see a “play” button above? Click here to download. This episode is brought to you in part by our Stamps.com promo code page.