How to spot a total asshole

Dear Junkies:

You can buy my stories if you so choose. Many of you do, and for that I am grateful. Some of you choose instead to listen to the free podcasts. That’s cool, too. The free podcast is kept free via advertising — you know, like every other form of storytelling entertainment. You may have heard of this business model from formats such as TV, Radio, and the Internet.

But sometimes, you get people who aren’t grateful they are getting free stories. Hell, sometimes you get people who bitch that their free stories aren’t just the way they want them.

Case in point, this asshole:

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She took the time out of her busy day to send that lovely email. So, of course, I responded in the most helpful way possible (her name is not XXXX, of course, but it would pretty cool if it was).

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Her response was to send a cartoon, perhaps trying to play the whole thing off as a joke. I’ll go ahead and stick with my “asshole” assessment, thank you very much.

Don’t like the free stuff? Easy solution — don’t listen. To summarize …


-The People’s Author-

About The Author


  1. Dell

    Totally off topic, but I just finished the Infected series again and I am still totally bummed by the death of [redacted for spoilers] in the second book. Maybe you could make it a dream scenario and write them into another story. By the end they had such chemistry as characters.

    Anyone, appreciate all your great work bro, I am through like 75% of your stuff.

    1. scottsigler

      Dell: Thank you for the kind words, thrilled you’re digging everything. I did some redacting to your post, but I hear you. Have you read Book III, PANDEMIC?

  2. P Brown

    Scream all you want scott you’re very good at it. As for Meg we have a saying in the uk, “there’s nowt queerer than folk”. #carryonscreaming

  3. Mario Spampinato

    Hells, the over-energized exuberance is part of the draw of Sigler. What other author not only puts all of their shit out, but has been for (mostly) ten years? I want that energy, I look forward to it. On long drives, having a Sigler episode is sometimes that kick in the ass I need to stay awake for another half an hour.

    I don’t know how many people I’ve gotten hooked on the Sig just based on the nsfw openings alone.

    In sorry, to quote a great(-ish) philosopher, ‘TURN IT OFF NOW, Puusssssss-aaayyyyy’ (not that I’m insulting pussy, they’re great things, but that’s a topic for another day).

  4. michael

    Well said! Wich brings me to my favorite Scott Sigler story: Earthcore 2. It’s long in the making, I know. But your fan’s are eager for it ( and will pay for good entertainment). Many greeting from Germany!

    1. scottsigler

      Michael: We won’t get to EARTHCORE 2 for at least a year, but the re-write of EARTHCORE is complete and in the next few months we will announce its release date. It’s 50% longer than the original, the story better fleshed-out, and benefits from my 20 years of development as a writer. I think you’re going to love it. Then we have a few things to finish up, including GFL VI, and hopefully we’ll see MT. FITZROY soon.

      1. MIke

        The “We’re all gunna die!” cracks me up. And just thinking about it does it as well.

        1. brian

          soooooooo can’t wait for gfl!!!! and someday crypt book 2!! Best author ever i live in northern m.i. next time your home hope you have a event and a beer!-
          t.c m.i.

  5. Ewan

    At first, I thought this was maybe just an ill-conceived or badly worded attempt at constructive criticism (pro tip: the words “it makes me want to punch you in the face” rarely feature in constructive criticism), which would be fine, even when it’s about free stuff. But then I read the comment by Mrs. XXXX. Anyone using an excuse like “I didn’t think anyone would read it” (aka the BREXIT excuse) automatically loses their argument. There is feedback and then there is bitching. And if you don’t know the difference between the two, what you’re doing is probably the latter.

    1. Meg

      No, I was straight up bitching. It was rude of me, I’ll admit. I’m not an avid listener of his books, just a third-hand listener, but listening to the same screaming commercials over and over, along with “turn it off now pusssaay” was very tiring and I thought it made him sound pretty douchey.

      I’m glad it brought you closer to your fans, Scott. Although when someone is rude to me in life, I don’t usually cry to my bloggers about it.

        1. Muddy_Junkie

          Why does a “third-hand listener” even have an account here? My wife is what I would call a third-hand listener. It seems like you went out of your way to be bitchy as you said and that is fine of course. Scott’s not your choice of entertainer, or at least his “ad voice”. But to come here, make an account and continue your bitchy comments seems to point towards something more.

          If it truly bothers you that much, and you aren’t going to somehow force your husband to stop listening to something that I gather he enjoys, maybe buy him the audio books that are ad free? Since that seems to be your issue right?

          I dunno. This seems like a bigger issue than you just don’t like his “ad voice”. Or learn from my wife. Get yourself some decent earbuds and listen to something on your phone if you don’t want to hear what your husband listens too. If it is literally just the ads, listen to something else for that whopping 3 min or so before the story starts.

          1. Edgar N Valderrama

            To Jason Russell: I simply fast forward past the commercials. No problem at all.

  6. Meg

    I wasn’t very busy, as we were just riding in the car listening to his audiobooks. I’m not saying your voice is bad, just your advertising voice. It just needs a little work. People don’t respond well to yelling. Don’t worry, you’ll get there, jabrony.

    Also, you didn’t post the picture. It was a good one. Truth be told, I honestly didn’t think anyone would read that email.

    1. Rich Palmer

      Hey…Meg… Here’s how little you matter right now. My phone, wouldn’t even recognize your name. I had to type it in. Your opinion regarding Scott’s zealous advertisements is worth about as much as Molly McButter’s worthless remains after the ancestor tears outta her. Jack-diddly-squat. Go listen to The Dark Tower or something… We junkies enjoy Scott, and his enthusiasm about his sponsors (which, consequently pay a lot of his bills) is one of the reasons we all frequent those sponsors, because we know they take care of him, our he wouldn’t be so excited about them. There’s the door…don’t let it hit you where High One split you, on your way out.

  7. Rachel

    Nicely said. Although you have an more eloquent vocabulary available, it is not appropriate to use your twenty five cent words on a douche nozzle.