SPOILER ALERT: This entire post is spoilers.
I enjoyed this episode. By my scoring, it’s a 7/10 and a nice recovery from the episode where the Beloved Character™ dies for apparently no f-ing reason (see below). However, as much as I enjoyed this episode and can’t wait for next week, the Nitpickious the Annoying showed up on my shoulder and started tapping my head asking some gad-dang annoying questions …
Khaleesi dictating policy from the back of a giant-ass dragon? YAAAASSS. Pumping up her troops for the big march? YAAA …. wait a minute … weren’t they already following her? You know, marching with their leader to get on ships and travel to Westeros? They are already following you, lady, so why the speech? Wouldn’t it have been cooler to have her call Drogon while she was in that big-ass hut with the Khal, and have Drogon fire that shit up and then she walks out all nekked and bad-ass and speech-giving and motivates her bros to get their war on?
Has the Three-Eyed Raven that everyone is so impressed with ever done anything? What power has he shown other than precognition and looking back. What is this dude supposed to do that is so fucking important? Help me out — has the 3IRaven actually done anything to show off power?
- He did jack shit against the White Walkers
- He’s stuck in a tree
- He can project backward in time, but can’t stop Bran from acting the fool when they go there
- He’s got some elfdwarfs gallivanting about in his roots, but does that point to any kind of power?
My concern here is that we’re going to get exactly the powers that are needed to win at exactly the nick-of-right-time without any setup of what 3IRaven #1 or 3IRaven #2 can do.
WHAT, EXACTLY, DID HODOR DIE FOR?
This was Hodor’s sacrifice? To buy Bran like 15 more minutes of life? And why did we go from a billion zombies (they are “zombies,” goddamit) to six? Maybe just in time for Uncle We Totally Forgot About to randomly swoop in and save the day. The Raven called Uncle Uncle We Totally Forgot About? Huh? And now Uncle Uncle We Totally Forgot About is 1/2 White Walker? Am I following this right?
• “Build me a thousand ships!” Euron.
• “I need a thousand ships.” Khaleesi.
• Gee … I wonder what’s going to happen here.
They want to take back Riverrun. When did Riverrun get lost? Speaking of lost, I am lost. The Freys are supposed to have it? The Blackfish has it now? Who the frick is on either side of this battle? With Rob Stark gone and Winterfel in the hands of Smiley McFlayerson, who the hell is even tracking these battles? Wait … was there a battle?
NOW TOMEN GROWS A PAIR?
So let me get this straight. Lil’ Blondie can’t do a damn thing to stop his moms from doing the Walk of Attonement. Lil’ Blondie can’t even see her for most of this season, because Asshole Sparrow says “nope.” Lil’ Blondie can’t step up and do what Uncle Daddy Cousin suggests he do, because, again, Asshole Sparrow. Lil’ Blondie can’t step up to save his own hot-as-hell wife. BUT! When Asshole Sparrow runs his game, all the sudden Lil’ Blondie can stand up to Jamie Lannister? All the sudden he has the stones to kick Uncle Daddy Cousin out of the city, and stand up to Moms? Smells a bit like someone cut the Cheese of Convenience. Your thoughts?