You guys! You guys! The craziest thing just hapened. On December 14, Actual For-Real Presidential Candidate Donald Trump released a letter from his physician stating that “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” NPR showed the whole letter as an image.
To put it mildly, Trump’s doctor thinks the Future Dark President is in really, really good shape (he can’t be the Future Dark Overlord, because that’s me, fools). I mean, it’s almost as if someone asked the doctor to write a glowing letter that isn’t the least bit hyperbolic.
Here’s where it gets weird — my doctor also released a letter about me on the same day Trump’s doc released the letter about him! Insane coincidence, right? In the interest of full disclosure, I decided to follow the lead of my idol — The Donald — and show my letter to the world. After all, I want you to know that I won’t die on you in mid-series, like George R. R. Martin most assuredly will.