I’m outta here, suckers

Emma's last walk


If you’ve read my blog posts, you know I’m old as hell. Or “was” old as hell. I’ve moved on, folks.


My humans would like to think I had a good life. I lived in Michigan and California. I drove back and fourth between those a total of four times. Add in various trips, and I was able to sniff stuff in twelve states. I also marked my territory in all twelve states, mind you, so Wyoming? Yeah, that pee spot is mine.


I swam in the Great Lakes. I swam in the Pacific Ocean. When I snuck away from my people, I also swam in some shallow bodies of water that could barely be described as “fetid ponds.” As an annoying dog, there were few things more satisfying than getting away from Scott and coming back covered in stinking mud. Ah, the good life …


Yep, I’m dead. Sunday, June 17, 2012 was my time. I arrived in 1998. I don’t remember much, other than that I was a five-pound pup in a Humane Society in Michigan. Scott and the Evil Queen found me. Apparently, me playing a game of throwing my own dried poop and chasing after it endeared me to the Evil Queen. I became theirs, they became mine. There was a lot of love, I tell you. A lot of love, a lot of treats, which are kind of the same thing.


I also utterly destroyed Scott’s back yard in Stockbridge, MI. I dug so many holes that he finally bought enough chicken wire to cover the entire back yard. He laid down the chicken wire, then a couple of inches of top soil, then seeded it. The first time I tried to dig through that? I had to admit, he beat me. Damn you, Scott!


But it’s not all bad. My family doesn’t believe in an afterlife, we don’t think we’ll all be reunited in a cloudy place with a bunch of winged dudes flying about and jamming AC/DC on harps, but in a way, I get to live on. You’ve read NOCTURNAL? Yeah, that “Emma” is me. Hopefully Scott can write a sequel, so I can roam around with Bryan a bit more. And maybe you’ve read ANCESTOR? Well guess what: those snarling 650-pound black and white beasties were based on me. ‘Cause I was that mean. It’s too late for you to prove that one wrong, by the way, so let the record show that my snarling face inspires monsters.


I know my people miss me. They miss me very much. I’m sorry they are hurting right now, but that’s the price you pay for the gift of loving something so deeply. It’s a price they pay gladly. As my atoms and elements spread to other uses, whatever might be left of me will miss them as well.


Thanks to you all for reading my surly blog posts. It was fun while it lasted. And when you read NOCTURNAL or ANCESTOR, think of me.




About The Author


  1. Tigers_Claw

    Just lost a pet myself.. It really sucks..
    Find myself looking out the window expecting him to be there

  2. Funkyspacegirl

    My dog has joined the dog of evil today! Man it’s painful, even when it’s the only right thing to do! 

  3. Artificial_Selection

    This is very sad.  But, from the sounds of it, the sadness is entirely on the part of we who are left in her awesome wake.  She lived as full and happy a life as any dog could hope for.  Thanks for the inspiration that delivered such amazing stories to us when rendered through the prism of Scott’s writings, Emma.  You were a good dog.

  4. sail1313

    Condolences to both the FDO and EQ. She will be immortalized in “Nocturnal”!

  5. consolejockey

    Scott, having recently lost my cat Ivan (named for Ivan the Terrible) which adopted my wife an I in 1998 and who pasted away this year in February, I can honestly relate to your loss.  My condolences to you and the Evil Queen – and may Emma rest in piece!

  6. ogreoregon

    The only true unconditional love we get is from our pet canines…Cats are nice but they can change their minds…Dogs love you, no matter what. I feel your pain, and thank you for sharing her with us over the years. Your tribute farewell from Emma was just perfect.

  7. Mycroft

    We lost our dog Midnight in April.  He was 7.

    After the upcoming trip next week, we will start the search for a new dog, for our family is not complete without one.

  8. McButterFinger

    Sail on, DoE!  Maybe you’ll find a yard without chicken wire.  Not likely, because the FDO has connections, but it could happen.  It could.

    We just lost our own Small Psychotic Canine of 16 years this winter, and our daughter just got her very own first DoE (in training) 2 weeks ago.  Circle of life sucks when it happens, but that’s part of being owned by a Dog.

    Farewell, Emma.  Be well, Family of Evil.

  9. bandit

    Beautifully written epitath Scott.  Sounds like Emma was on the All-Pro roster many years running. 

  10. deltrimental

    PS. That face-lick was an expression of doggy love, not some strange Australian custom. We don’t generally do that. Not sober, anyway.

  11. deltrimental

    Sorry I missed this beautiful post. Sending much love and sympathy to you and the Evil Queen. *licks your face*

  12. scottsigler

    Thank all of you very much for the sentiments. She was my dear friend for 14 years. I’ll never really get over this, just as I’ve never gotten over the loss of Mookie, but this is an unavoidable part of life. Time to move on and make more cool things that make people happy.

  13. DorkOverlord

    I actually registered for the site finally, just so I could leave a comment here and now. I forget who said, “I wish I could be half the man that my dog thinks I am”, but there you go. There’s not much that is rougher than losing your dog, but it sounds like you gave her a great life, and she returned the favor. She’s looking down, wagging, and getting up on a sofa as you read this . . .

  14. V_L_Boom

    Much sadness!

    Condolences to you both!

    The Dog of Evil is dead, long live the Dog of Evil!

  15. c18o23

    Sorry to hear of the passing of the Dog of Evil. My deepest heart-felt condolences to the FDO and the Evil Queen. The loss of a family member of any kind just plain sucks. But she lives on in both Nocturnal & Ancestor. Long Live the Dog of Evil! 

  16. Cal

    My face is leaking and it’s kind of hard to breathe in here.  Sucks to lose a friend like that.  We’re all thinking of you.


  17. athanas

    Scott and The Evil Queen,
    I’ve got tears in my eyes right now.  I’m so sorry to read this.
    My condolences to you both.

  18. Twainy

    Just off work. Saw ur FB post. Deeply saddened to hear of your loss!! That seriously SUX!! hugg!

  19. jokerdas

    Scott and Evil Queen, I am saddened to hear of your loss!
    May this month’s contribution to the million word march be in her honor!

  20. richno3

    R.I.P. Emma. You will be missed, but found in “Nocturnal”. My condolences to you Scott and the Queen of Evil.

  21. ScottEPond

    Miss Emma, you have brought joy and smiles to more than you can ever know and will live on forever in your human pet’s shared imagination, sniffing out genetic aberrations as the Littlest and Furriest Savior.

    Scott and Miss Evil Queen, I’m so sorry for your loss.
  22. Shadygirl

    Emma, you were are seriously bad ass dog. I’m am so sorry to see you go.
    To Scott and The Evil Queen, I’m sorry for your loss. I know you will miss her greatly.

  23. avi8or63

    Very sad for you. I’m sure she is digging big ass holes in that doggie better place.   From your friend in the Great White North. 

  24. Gatorrock

    Sorry Scott for your & the EQ’s loss- the DoE Rocked!!! Much love from this side of the pond!

  25. Chuffter

    RIP Emma!! So Sorry to hear that, much love to the Sigler house hold at this very sad time

  26. Lone_Ghost_Jinn

    Sorry to hear that.  Losing a part of the family is not easy.  Much love and now I will leak at the eyes a bit everytime I read Nocturnal.  And laugh when I reread Ancestor of think of Emma as the badass monsters.  Very cool.

  27. Chance

    I am terrible at coping with loss.  Hence I have had no pets since my youth.  You both have my sympathies .

  28. Blix

    Damn, I know this pain well. I’m sorry to hear of your loss but it sure sounds like she had a good long run.

    Sympathies to the Sigler family.
  29. BigJohn

    Fare thee well, Emma. You had a good run. So sorry for your loss, Scott and Evil Queen.

  30. occupy_my_rocktopi

    In your short time here you became more famous, and infamous, than most of us ever will.  The world is truly a less evil place (which is sad people!) without the Dog of Evil.  If it doesn’t already happen, everytime the FDO sees a dog that looks anything like you, he will get choked up a bit and maybe get a little misty eyed.  So in the end, you win!  The FDO’s own personal “Marley and Me” ending has come on.  In the sequel to Nocturnal, I’m hoping you get some more “ink time”.

  31. tsolo888

    “She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
    You are her life, her love, and her leader. she will be yours,
    faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart. 
    You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion.” 

    — Unknown 

    Farewell Emma, my sympathies are with the Sigler family.
  32. Totoro

    So long Emma, I’m sure you were loved even without treats. Our dog Asta says to tell the FDO & Queen of Evil that he feels that they will still have all of us.

  33. Beth_Ailis

    Aw, man! My eyes are leaking.

    So long, Emma. What a great dog – she will be missed.
    I love the story about the chicken wire. What a battle of wills!
    So sorry for your loss.
  34. Belladonna420

    Emma will be missed greatly but more importantly, she will be remembered.

    Sympathies, hugs and smoochies to you Scott and to the Evil Queen.
  35. Gmork

    Rock on Emma. Your badassery lives on.

    Hugs to Scott and the Evil Queen. So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Emma with us all.

  36. exotiKali

    Scott – I am so sorry to hear about Emma. It sounds like she had a full and wonderful life and was very loved. How wonderful that she has been immortalized in the pages of your books.

  37. TheManiacWoodpecker

    Rest in Peace DoE!

    I am sorry for your loss FDO & Queen of Evil.

    Farewell “Emma” and happy hunting in the afterlife.