Where the hell has Scott been?

The FDØ lurks!

Junkies: “Well, young man, would you care to explain just where the hell you’ve been all this time? Have you been hiding?”

Scott: “Oh, you know, there was this thing at the Senior Center where I volunteer, then this rapist pedophile werewolf showed up at the day care center down the block, so I had to–“

Junkies: “Don’t you lie to us, young man … you’ve been working again!”

Scott: “(sigh) … yeah, I have. I’m doing 14-hour days to finish up THE MVP final draft edit so I can start recording the audiobook/podcast on June 4. Then eight days of recording that, then finish up the first draft of PANDEMIC — which, I admit, I’ve been doing research on all along. Plus, the Døg of Evil was pretty sick for a spell, and as old as she is that took some time and some thinking about what’s best for her. She’s pretty perky this morning, though.”

Junkies: “So, work … that’s why you’re not on the site, and why you aren’t doing your own podcast intro? Is that redheaded enabler helping you use again?”

Scott:Fine! I’ll admit it! If it wasn’t for ARealGirl, I wouldn’t be able to get any of this done! Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now, Junkies?”

Junkies: “Happy? Sometimes we miss the olden days, the long-ago days, where you’d just promise us new works and then miss deadlines over and over again. You used to lie to us about delivering new stories — that’s how we knew you loved us! ARealGirl ruined it all by making you efficient!”

Scott: “How dare you call me efficient! How dare you, sirs and ma’ams! I assure you, as soon as this deadline is done, I’ll be back to playing three games of FIFA a day, surfing the web for pictures of Chocodiles, and creating fake accounts on JC Hutchinsssss‘ site to mess wtih his head.”

Junkies: “We’ve heard it all before. You’re just not the same FDØ we used to know.”

Scott: “You know what? I can’t do this right now. I’ve got to go … uh … look online for ALIENS fan sites.”

Junkies: “Liar! You’re going back to work again, aren’t you? Tell us the truth!”

Scott: “Yes, I’m going back to work. I’m sorry it has to be this way … I just can’t stop. I’m going to cut a big fat line of words and snort it back through a straw of editing. Later, Junkies — I’ll see you in a couple of weeks after I recover from this bender.”

About The Author


  1. Carnie

    Nice to know that you are working hard for us but I must admit that reading this post made me feel a little sad inside. We miss you Scott :(”””

  2. ARealGirl

    So, should I say “Thanks!” or “You’re welcome?”

    As a Junkie myself, I’m torn. Either way, thanks for all the hard work.

  3. Granby

    That is going to end up looking in the little window that looks into our bathroom tonight. 

  4. scottsigler

    Granby, don’t be an asshole — everyone knows you spell the whip sound “whishh-pap!” Some people, I swear …

  5. Beth_Ailis

    As long as you deliver the goods, I guess we can cut you some slack. Coffee break’s over, back on your head!

  6. TexZen

    Likely freaking story.  I’m thinking it’s more likely you’ve been moonlighting as a bath salts salesman.

  7. exotiKali

    So you have nothing to do with this wave of cannibalism sweeping the country? Uh-huh. Yeah, you were “writing.”

  8. scottsigler

    Rich, you are a mystery and a conundrum. I will never know if you read my posts, and you will never know if I know that you’ve read my posts.