You Humans and your goddamn magic rooms

All right, I know that I’m old. I know this. I’m 98 in “dog years,” which we all realize is an arbitrary number assigned by “the man” to keep my people down. How come nobody talks about our civil rights, huh? Got an answer for me, smart-guy?

I didn’t think so. You all are too busy laughing at goddamn cats that are too stupid to spell correctly. Since when is laughing at retarded cats an acceptable form of behavior? Idiots.

Anyway, I have a bone to pick with your kind, and not of the delicious milk variety (Purina FTW!). What the hell is up with your goddamn magic rooms? A door opens. I walk out of the hall into a room. The door closes. A few seconds later, the door opens … into another hall! Black-magic chicanery, that’s what I call it.

So here’s my problem: sometimes I can’t remember which part of the magic room is supposed to open up. Oh, that’s my fault? Listen, asshole, you’re the ones that build this crap, it’s not my fault that I don’t know which side of the magic room is going to magically open into Magic Land. Did I mention I’m 98 in dog years?

And my smart-ass “pal,” Scott. What a douche, taking a picture of me from the open door of the magic room while I stare at a wall. How the hell was I supposed to know it was just a wall??? Huh?!

Humans … someday I will bite you all.

About The Author


  1. Catalyst

    talk about magic rooms, what about those magic elevators that open on both sides to like 20 different floors…..O.o

  2. Gmork

    FUCKING MAGIC ROOMS! How do they work?!?!?!?!?

    lol…This post was highly entertaining. More so than those retarded LOLZ Cats!

  3. Gatorrock

    Døg of Evil- piss on the FDØ – he deserves it.  He must respect his Øverlord or suffer the consequences!!!

  4. steffiebaby140

    Maybe Scott Sigler is just a pen name…its really the Dog of Evil!  And those damn magic rooms that open up on both sides are annoying, we really are stupid humans.

  5. ScottEPond

    Goddamn magic rooms… for the effing win.

    Effing goddamn magic rooms… How do day work? I think it’s an effing miracle.