CONTAGIOUS final draft sent to publisher, 9:32 pm Pacific Time, 9-3-08

[img_assist|nid=1789|title=The Email of Doom|desc=sent to Tha Shiv at Crown Publishing|link=none|align=right|width=351|height=257]Holy crap. It’s done.

720 pages.
138,400 words.
772,504 characters.
Add in the 22,300 words that didn’t even make it in, and I typed well over 1,000,000 characters to make this bitch.

Allow me a moment to pry my ass away from this chair. I think it’s grown into my gluteus maximums like a triangle’s tail sinking into Perry’s junk. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.

Life is full of great moments, those times where your chest fills with the pride of knowing you busted your ass and put on a blue-collar performance worthy of an AFL-CIO endorsement. CONTAGIOUS goes to the publisher, warts and all, and no matter what you all think of it the book, this blood-spotted keyboard is proof that I put everything I had into making this the best novel possible.

The rush I’m experiencing right now is indescribeable. This is what it felt like to some Egyptian dude when he dropped that last block onto the pyramid, and then said, "Hey, Ezekiel, it’s Miller Time, brah." So much work went into this. So many life changes in the last five months. The passing of a beloved dog, the illness of a family member. The Evil Queen™ returns from Michigan tomorrow, and I can finally dedicate my full attention to her in her time of crisis. Life giveth, and life taketh away.

I have put my very being into this rat bastard. I want it to rock you like Queen would if Freddy Merc were still with us. I want it to lock the breath in your throat, grab your privates in a not-so-nice way, make your stomach flip and your nips all hard and tingly. I want it to smash you flat like a Matt Wallace snap-souplex.

Above all, I want CONTAGIOUS to entertain you.  You Damn Dirty Junkies have no idea what you all mean to me, and I hope this one hits you so hard you fly into the ditch with your empty shoes still on the road. CONTAGIOUS is my love letter to y’all.

And for you aspiring novelists asking if this level of committment and sacrifice is worth it? Yeah, it is. 

I am your FDO™, and I do work.


About The Author


  1. wyrdwyrd

    Mac user?

    Ok, realistically I know it makes sense–Scott uses a Mac just like almost every other podcaster out there.

    Still… I read in my history book that at the end of WW II, when the Japanese heard their emperor on the radio for the first time, they were let down because he sounded so human.

    So that brings us to the screenshot:  to see our FDO’s snippet of his Macintosh desktop there lookin’ all… I dunno… normal.  Well, it gives me a shudder.  I mean, next thing you know he’ll have a cute bunny screensaver or something.

    Come on, FDO, where’s the blood and guts?  You should have a black-and-bloody Desktop Theme at least.  Laughing

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

  2. dscarron


    726-pages?!? You rock my world!

    Congrates on birthing that bad boy.

    Feel free to take a nice break before the next phase of the takeover.
    But your minions still await more ammunition before the conquest gets going.

  3. Fiberglasswolf

    way to go Scott

    cant wait to see it out in print. In other news im well on the way to hooking my 15 yr old daughters entire 10 th grade English class on your work. Hoping to hook the teacher first and then get them to add your Infected into the curriculum (sp) this year. 🙂


  4. Twowire

    We know of one Junkie

    Vanessa Cockburn,  I wonder if the FDO will throw out some more Junkie names or If we will just have to wait?

    ["No matter where you go, there you are"] – And Sigler always knows exactly where there is!

  5. tokolak


    Good job on getting your book finished must have been a lot of work to get it done. My sisters is also

    working on a book but it will take her a couple of months to finish it. 

  6. Yurlok


    It must feel amazing to finally have it finished after all that hard work.  Good job man.  I loved Infected and now I can’t wait until December.  Gives me something big to look forward to.

  7. holchije

    Already on the wish list

    The inlaws sent me infected (from the wishlist) and chicken scissors (from the wedding registry) in the same order.  I bet that they will follow up with this one.  Can’t wait for more crypt and nocturnal.

  8. ogreoregon

    Outstanding, FDO and thank you.

    What a  hardworking FDO you are…..and after reading what you said about how you wanted CONTAGIOUS to rock us, lock us, grab us, flip us and tingle our nips and all, I had to smoke a long french cigarette…….
     I can’t wait!

  9. ogreoregon

    I love names…. she should run for VP, heck, President

    Could the name be written in print and in history books about her? or would they have to change the name… when speaking her name on TV would they Bleep it?  I know she couln’t get a vanity  plate for her car.
    Names are just so great, esp. when they are a little different.
    *I’m Rear Admiral but Sigler won a PARSEC*

  10. Pjotr_NL

    I think so

    ’cause there was a free PDF version of infected for a few weeks. maybe the same will happen with contagious

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

  11. randomelements

    More rockingest than rockie things from rocksville

    Awesome stuff Mr Sigler and I know the pain you’ve been through – I just had to type about a million characters to get a password reset as I can’t get my home emails at work. Tell the damn digital golbins to keep those urls shorter than a squirrels junk…..

    But seriously, Contagious is gonna rock, I just know it. We’ll allow you the time to kick back before finishing Nocturnal – we’re not that evil.

    OK that’s long enough, why you still here! Wink

    Obama, McCain – get ready for the shortest damn presidency ever – the FDO’s coming for you!

  12. gmanvsfreeman

    yeah but will there be one in December?


    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

  13. gmanvsfreeman

    No offense but that does sound like

    something you would do in the sequel to Infected.


    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

  14. gmanvsfreeman

    PDF, maybe?


    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

  15. Wolf

    Hey, man!

    It’s your own damned fault! You’re the one who got us all hooked on this shit, ya know. We want it all and we want it NOW!! 


    "+5 for me"

  16. Scott

    You Junkies … if I have to stop this car …

    "Where is Pandemic?" Jesus H. I hope that crickets hatch from your eyes.

  17. Carnie

    Ok so you sent off

    Ok so you sent off Contagious or whatever, but where is Pandemic? I doubt your keyboard is THAT bloody…I guess you deserve a LITTLE break.


    Congrats man, can’t wait to read it!


    -Carnie "I’ll take you on a ride you’ll never forget…."

  18. sem1968

    Congrats FDO!!

    Congratulations Scott, you pushed that one out till it hurt, and had to endure several hardships along the way. Thank you for what you do. Know that it is important to us all(4000+!!) Get back to Michigan soon for a celebratory pub crawl….From GR but willing to travel.

  19. DougS

    Wrong Address….

    Hey Scott, 

     You sent it to the wrong email…..That’s my old account. Just pass it along to my new email address, attached to this profile, and I’ll take care of the rest……


  20. godellian

    i guess

    i guess that sounds about right. 


    i spose i just expected it to be bigger….thats what she said…

  21. n8man

    Congrats FDO

    If you have the chance, can you save it as a .txt file for release alongside the episodes?
    Nate Dogg… The only signature I need is my fist.

  22. Pjotr_NL

    since when is there a ruler…

    … next to the new email in "Mail" or is that a piece of another app.

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

  23. jtmanis


    You’ve worked your ass of, Sigler. Take some time off to relax for once, we can wait a few days for new content; but that’s it. Any more and we’re going to raise our torces in riot-fashion.

  24. jtmanis

    Content size.

    If I’m right, each character is one byte. 772,504 characters translates to 754.4 KB, and then the formatting, so that’s about right. The text size and spacing is probably only around 10KB, which is read by the program as a pre-set thingy.

  25. Scott

    Jizz-encrusted hands

    Listen, if you’re going to have "jizzed encrusted" hands, use your hyphens for the compound adjective. Most of my fans have jizz-encrusted hands, I imagine.

  26. Scott

    Beats me, that’s just how big it is

    Text takes up very little memory space, actually. It’s a 726-page document, double-spaced, 12pt Courier text. It is what it is …

  27. amaster

    Contagious!!! MUST HAVE IT! *twitch*

    The knowledge that Contagious is finished makes for the best early birthday present I could ever get.

    Good job Scott, now go have a beer and spend some time with the Evil Queen. 


    Sitting here with my computer hooked directly into a vein in my arm.

    See my writing at http://Writing.Com/authors/amaster

  28. godellian

    email attachment

    Is that a real screenshot of you sending the full draft to the editor?


    if so how the is the 720 page book only 1MB?

  29. Twowire

    Congrats FDO!

    Thanks for all your hard work in getting Contagious out for printing! Already got it pre-ordered and cant wait to get it into my sweaty shaking little Junkie hands!


    I can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thats awesome FDO! Now……………..Nocturnal. cmon only a few chapters left 

    after Nocturnal and Contagious whats next? Mt. Fitzroy?  cant wait to tap a vein with a new story 😉 this Junkie needs his fix!

    and will you be releasing Contagious as a podcast as well or it going straight into print? (I’m buying it either way)

    Assassins do it from behind


    I hope thats her maiden name

    I would hate to think that she married into that unfortunately hilarious name, J/K Vanessa I think you should have it printed on a t shirt or a hat and proudly sport the name. That name is awesome, hey it got you killed by our FDO didn’t it?:)

    Assassins do it from behind

  32. Scott

    That’s how you celebrate!

    I like that line. I’ll use that on the Evil Queen. I’m either going to get some, or get shived, either way, will be interesting.

  33. Scott

    Please tell me that’s your line …

    I’ve never heard that before, but it’s got Sigler T-Shirt written all over it. Did you make that up?

  34. Scott

    Maybe 10?

    I’m not sure, I lost track. A bunch, though. Funny thing is we have a Junkie who’s real name is "Vanessa Cockburn," and they wouldn’t let me use it because they though I was being a douche. So now it’s "Vanessa Coleburn," but you know it’s you, Vanessa!

  35. BarbaraJ

    Now that’s love

    Now class, everyone say thank you to the Evil Overlord.
    "Thank you, Evil Overlord!"
    Tastes Like Chicken

  36. Pjotr_NL

    hey sigler

    just a quick question:

    How many junkies did you kill in Contagious???

    Or is that some sort of state secret?

    come on man, Tell us!!!!!

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

  37. Xenko

    Congrats Scott

    Good job Scott.  Can wait to get my grubby hands on a copy of that book.


    But what’s that I hear in the distance… could it be… a Nocturnal episode?  Please?  Pretty Please?

  38. m3parker

    Ready To ROCK!

    Wow!  You inspire awe as well as fear.  You just have two things on your to do list.  Take good care of the Evil Queen, and throw a party.  Don’t add anything else to the list until those are done.  Every victory deserves a celebration! 

    Oh, and don’t worry about the Junkies.  You’ve dropped enough sweet juicy content on us lately to keep us happy for a while… 

    You’ve got 10 seconds. Wink

  39. scissorfiction


    Congrats Scott, looking forward reading about Perry’s life, post-scrotum.


    On a related publishing arena note, Dragon Moon Press is putting out Phil Rossi’s Crescent in ’09, press release at


    Keep on keepin’ on FDO, we’ll feast greedily from the Sigler trough…

  40. gmanvsfreeman

    Great news

    over a million characters, 720 pages. Holy crap thats alot. That is dedication. Counting down the days to Contagious.

    G-Man: Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

  41. Jumper

    Big Projects

    Congratulations Scott! 

    I hope you do not get the horrific moment at the end of all big projects when you get up and think "Why am I not at my keyboard – what did I do before this monster task?". It took me a painful year to write my thesis and I can’t imagine the level of concentration, frustration, stress and nuclear grade rage that came with switching to writing, wiritng to that kind of deadline – 1million characters!!! – and taking care of family business. Hat’s off to you all round and I wish you and your family a huge upswing in luck.

    I managed to get a copy of Infected at Heathrow a few days before the official launch date – which made my holiday immense. Thanks for all the hardwork and time you put in to these things and I can’t wait for the next book to be sitting in my stocking come christmas (UK release for december?)

    Pain is the teacher and fear is the key.

  42. flashman

    You ROCK!!!!

    Rollon December…cannot wait!!!


    When does the viral marketing campaign begin?


    -loyal footsoldier-


  43. w_nightshade

    Role Models are Awesome

    As A long-time "Starter-not-finisher" I hugely admire this accomplishment.  And as one of your OJ’s, I cannot wait until I can get my greasy mitts on this puppy.  I want more triangled goodness, and I want it yesterday! 


    Enjoy the high – you more than earned it.[I think, therefore I’m right. –Hugo Rune]

  44. jgerhold



    Can’t wait to get it into my dirty Junky hands.

    So, now to some more Noctural and all the other sequels.. 😉

  45. edgyScott

    Yeah, That’s how it’s done…

    Ya slap dem nuts down on the table and dare a mutha fucker ta give ’em a lick.


    Keep slappin’ that shit down man!




    Sigler almost destroyed my hometown!

    semi~proud ex-Adrian native.

  46. Ozzy

    Awww, our FDO is all emotional….

    ..or some such shit.


    Congrats, Sigs. You met the unmeetable deadline. And if you’re proud of it, then it has to be some real hardcore stuff.


    Can’t wait!!! Scary Perry FTW!

  47. momma_dee

    I Know It Will Be CONTAGIOUS!!!!!!!

    Don’t Start Nothin’ Won’t Be Nothin’         Congrats!!!!

  48. arimus25

    Congrats Scott!

    Well done sir, well done. The only dead line I ever had was a 4 page english paper back in high school. What you have done in the past month or two, well, that is dedication. I dont care what anyone else says, but you are truly one bad ass mo-fo.

    Mad respect for you Scott!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Scott

    Ass …

    That’s exactly the attitude I like in my Junkies. Don’t worry, Grizz, some good stuff coming soon …

  50. Gmork


    Awesome news, FDO!

    Checking the celebration list:

    • breath locked in your throat….check
    • nips all hard and tingly…check

    Seriously, nice job. Time for celebatory pubcrawl (after taking care of the Evil Queen, that is).  Oh, and please feel free to cc: me on that emailed copy of Contagious Wink

  51. Worldofhiglet

    Holy Crap – it’s finished!

    I’ve a tear in my eye and it’s your fault. It might even be safe to look at Twitter after 8.00 PM again! Man, you’ve gone through it over the last few weeks and you deserve to feel the biggest rush you can get without being arrested. We’ve followed the ups and downs, the edits and rewrites, the crap life throws at you and yes, we are still here, still listening. Guess that does make us damned dirty junkies, and that’s just fine. Where does the line start for autograph copies?


    PS glad to see you didn’t forget the attachment 🙂