Krakens' #1 fan faces travishamockery of justice!

Krakens Jersey Tee MorrisJunkies! I’m 35,000 words into the Secret Mission of Death (the beloved SMOD™.) I still can’t talk about details. Dishes are piled high in the sink. Dirty clothes cover the floor, and I can’t remember the last time I bathed. This ZZ Top beard is getting long and the Evil Dogs™ are looking at me like I’m a walking T-bone. But I peeked my head up for one second, and I discovered that Tee Morris has beed robbed.

Tee Morris is an author and a die-hard Krakens fan. He wears his #68 jersey to dozens of scifi conventions, including Balticon — where a thief stole it! Now this thief is making Morris jump through hoops to get it back. While horribly offensive, it’s also pretty funny, because Morris has to perform random and meaningless tasks, document them, and post evidence to the ‘net.

The funniest bit is the Krakens’ Thief Flickr Page. Fuck Waldo, where’s that damn Krakens’ Jersey!?!

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Comments

  1. SynapticJam

    Although I feel for him…

    Tee brought this evil down upon himself…  But if it was my jersey, I’d be ripping the world a new one till I got it back… 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

  2. n8man

    I changed my picture to reference your little joke.

    I’ll put up a better picture of me when PG I mean scott gives us more nocturnal
    the picture:[flickr-photo:id=2567049184,size=l]
    Nate Dogg (#6 crackhits if mumo doesn’t pass me)… "life is hard. But it’s one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

  3. JP

    Nope.

    Somehow he carries the OJ tag, but I’ve never seen him post before–pretty lippy for a new guy. Or maybe he’s not real–let’s call him a “system glitch.” Somebody tell pulsar and see if we can get this fixed…

    – Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt. (I have jerks like you for breakfast.)

  4. wallerdad

    Who pulled your chain?

     Has anyone ever heard of this ass-wipe before?

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
  5. pubcat997

    Leave off the knitters!!!

    Did you see "Audition"?  We have lots of needles.  Sharp ones, pointy ones. We’ll poke your eyes out if you don’t lay off the knitters! 

     

    If you want to pick on someone, how about scrapbookers…oh wait.  They have knives and scissors.  Okay, how about puff paint t-shirt artists.  They seem pretty harmless.

  6. Freonwheels

    Sorry to hear about your skinned knee.

    The FDO doesn’t reward weak sissy girls who can’t hold their tears.

    Man-up for once.  3wks?  You just got a podcast on the 5th!  You get your fix when HE gives it to us.

    The junkie army doesn’t have time for bootcamp-for-sissy’s.  Toughen up or Shut-up.

     

    I’ll let you get back to your knitting.

     -FW

    Mechanical Engineer, Poet, Junkie

     "God is in the details" – Dyson

  7. wallerdad

    Hence forth

    The FDO shall be know as Scott Holyfield or PG Sigler, which ever you like.

     

    -grumble under my breath, who’s he think he is freaking PG Holyfield, 4 weeks and no new story.

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT

  8. jtswambo

    lol/harsh

    how gutted/what a bully

     

    im getting the shakes now and starting on the blurry vision – i need nocturnol, plz, just a lil one to keep me going. 

     

    what’s wrong with a bit of senseless violence?

  9. MuchAdo

    Maybe we could……

    steal something of Sigler’s and do the same thing in exchange for nocternal content.  Anyone know where the Evil Queen works.  Maybe someone could kidnap her!!!!!!  We would of course take good care of her Sigler – she would probably even help us out!!!!!!!

     

    "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win" -Yogi Berra

  10. Pjotr_NL

    maybe…

    … the FDO™ is the one who ordered to kidnap the jersey as a plan to tak over the world.

    They are indeed hilarious.

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

  11. SlackerQueen

    Sends me into a fit of giggles

    everytime I see the pics (and just recently subscribed to ‘its’ twitter feed) Perhaps its just the sadsitic side of me or this is just the finniest thing on the planet. Supposed he had it coming since he claimed himself to be the Uber Nemesis of all podcasters. *greatly amused*

  12. n8man

    im not gonna lie

    thats prettty freakin funny. poor tee though
    Nate Dogg (#6 crackhits if mumo doesn’t pass me)… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne