Born 40,000 of your Earth years ago I quickly rose to become HUGHJANUS THE SACK SHRINKER (due to the effect on the male anatomy when my armies of ultamate doom would approach any inhabited system).
In my first 400 years I overcame the DARK OVERLORD and pissed on his steaming entrails while drinking Tequila slammers and freelining bannana skins (a delicacy on Phalon).
Now I have retired to the relative calm and currently oversee public relations in the middle east.
I am free for public apperances and humiliating urination of entrails for a small extra fee.
I enjoy the GFL as it reminds me of KINDERGARTEN and my nursemaid NUTFLICK THE DIAPER DISPOSER who it has to be said "scratched my itch" in my formative years.
Well, enough of this as i have babies to eat at a pro gun lobbiests BBQ this afternoon and those little buggers dont deep fry thamselves (although the flailing of limbs does help keep the oil circulating).
Best regards, huggs and kisses
Formaly known as
HUGHJANUS THE SACK SHRINKER- overseer of suffering, lord of all pestallance, keeper of the challace of scrotial infestations, champion urinator galatic cluster 3342 for the period apple/52 through to 14th June 1934 (a little after 3 in the afternoon).