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To be honest, Arioch, I think you're trying a bit too hard on the accents. It was a cool bonus to hear an actual woman's voice doing...a woman's voice! And I completely understand your reason for doing so. It seems like the other accents were a bit inconsistent.
I really enjoyed the story, and look forward to part two. It seems that the place where part 1 ends is a good transition/cliffhanger spot. Well, maybe not so much cliffhanger, but definitely a logical spot to put a break. Can't wait for the next one!
Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.