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Going for the extreme here but ...

 ... rather than you reading what we wrote, what if we read what you wrote?  I'm sure there are some people here with a microphone who can read your work.  I can hear it now: Perry cutting off his parts to dig out the triangle ... read by a fan doing Donald Duck.

 Or Magnus dialog by someone sucking helium?  LOL.  I'm already hearing it in my head.  Its too funny, come listen.