Reply to Comment
The Rookie [redacted version]
Ok, maybe not quite redacted but I took a stab at replacing the word "shit" with "poo" for this one section of episode 1. I also offer an alternative for the words "piss" and "ass", just in case those are offensive words to anyone.
STEDMAR: ..And he heaves that rock. I mean, the thing flew 85 maybe 90 yards. I just about [pooed] myself!
Gredock nodded. He's was always amazed by human's fascination with fecal euphemisms.
GREDOCK: And that's why you signed him?
STEDMAR: Well, partially. So the kid won the bet, obviously. The big guy hands him a wad of bills and the kid starts doing this dance -- really rubbing it in, you know? Well, the big guy, he just loses his [poo]. He throws a sucker punch that knocks the kid flat on his [buttocks] and the kid popped up like nothing happening at all. Except he's not laughing now. Now he's [irate to the point of urination].
Gredock nodded again. Urine was also a key part of Stedmar's stories.
STEDMAR: So I ask him, " How old are you?", and he tells me "fifteen". Fifteen. You know what I almost did?
GREDOCK: You almost [pooed] yourself?
STEDMAR: Yeah, I almost [pooed] myself!
It's amusing, but not quite the same feel as the original version.