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The quest is clear

We must find the name of this dead man.  For, should the day ever come, and the FDO joins the forces of good and righteousness, writings stories about lost puppies and little kittens in balloon adventures and forsaking stories of genital mutilation, we must know the man’s name, to call upon his soul, and give us the strength to defeat this new, goody two shoes monster from inside his caramely sweet heart. 

Until then, I’m calling him “Dave”.

the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world