Pimps & Hoes II: The Wrath of Bone

[img_assist|nid=1692|title=Soupbone is back|desc=|link=popup|align=left|width=168|height=250]I have been informed that Dragon*Con in Atlanta will once again be graced by Soupbone the Wonder Pimp (a.k.a. Brahma Bone, a.k.a. Mr. Lovey Bone, a.k.a Phineaus James McBone IV).

The feather-boa-wearing Soupbone rarely makes public appearances, and for some reason thinks that I am his communication outlet to the world. He is throwing a party Friday, August 29 at Dragon*Con in the Hyatt. The room number, he tells me, is not yet known because "the mans" is trying to block his job placement efforts for wayward young ladies.

Last year at Dragon*Con, J.C. Hutchins and I attempted to throw a party, called "Podcast Pimps & Hoes Party." I should have known that would bring trouble, and it did, in the form of my cousin Phineaus from New Orleans. The party degenerated into a debacherous debacle. Bad things happened. Hutch won’t discuss it, and he still gets the shakes when he sees a bottle of tequila. I wouldn’t know, as I turned in early that evening after I read to the children at the local orphanage.

This year’s party is called "Podcast Pimps & Hoes II: The Wrath of Bone" and I have nothing to do with it. Like last year’s party, proper pimp, ho, thug, mobster, gangsta, and/or playa attire is strongly encouraged (and yes, there will probably be a pirate DJ again this year). Flash your grille. Hold up that jewell-encrusted chalice. Pop that sequined collar. And if you are one of those home-brew mobsters, prohibition is long dead so bring it on. 

Soupbone also wants to let all ladies know that if you are, and I quote, "interested in some sexy career oppahtumities," he will be happy to speak with you about a lucrative contractual arrangement. 

I will be at Dragon*Con on Saturday, after Soubone has cleared out of town (or been arrested, or been shot by a jealous husband or rival pimp). 

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Comments

  1. JP

    OMG, I thought he was dead!

    This is GREAT news! I’m completely sad now though; can’t make the paaartaaaay.

     

    __________________________________________

    MC, CA, UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

  2. Gmork

    I’m so sad to miss this party…

     …totally bummed about missed out on this party.

    I was gonna do a poetry reading, just like in the Wayans Brothers movie "I’m Gonna Get You Sucka".  Since I can do it live, I’ll have to settle for doing it here.  This poem is dedicated to Soupbone:

    My bitch better have my money

    Through rain, sleet, or snow

    My whore better have my money

    Not half, not some, but all my cash

    ‘Cause if she don’t,

    I’m gonna put my foot in her ass.

  3. Seth_Harwood

    Donkey ordered

    Pimps, hos, peeps,

    The Harwood Tall Dr. will be in the house on Friday night. When you see a lanky ass long pimp dressed in all white ride in on a drugged out donkey, you’ll know the Palms Father has arrived! 

  4. OJ_Mathis_Wrenn

    Is that this saturday? The

    Is that this saturday?

    The Siglerverse now includes the Eve Universe.

    North Carolina is where Sigler belongs….

  5. BarbaraJ

    Sonova!!!

    Let me get this straight …
    If I hadn’t wasted the past year listening to podcasts, I could have been out on the streets turning tricks earning some greenbacks to get my sorry ass to HotLanta for Dragoncon wherein I could partake of the Bone’s Ho Party?
    Sonova!!!  I totally have some screwed up sense of priorities.
    Wish I could be there. Please drink something alcholic and do something tasteless in my honor.
    Tastes Like Chicken

  6. Scott

    Let me know if you’re going …

    We might be able to arrange something. Of course, "something" means finding someone who looks just like you, who is 21 or over, and then we kill that person. But as long as you don’t mind the sound of a wood chipper, it should go pretty smooth.

  7. OJ_Mathis_Wrenn

    21+ :-(

    What…. nothing for me???? I’m 20…….

    The Siglerverse now includes the Eve Universe.

    North Carolina is where Sigler belongs….

  8. Seth_Harwood

    Sam Elliott??

    I don’t know. Sam Elliott looks more like Jack’s dad than like Jack. Who ever said anything about white hair on Jack Palms? People have suggested the guy from Prison Break and that seems good to me. 

    Empty lines? Sorry FDO. 

    author of the Jack Palms Crime series find it at sethharwood.com buy Jack Wakes Up on Palms Sunday, March 16, 08 at Amazon.com and help tell big publishing it’s time to Shake ‘Em Down!!!

  9. MuchAdo

    OK Seth,

    Scott is going to yell at you for having extra empty lines in your post.  Since you don’t like the idea of Jack looking like Patrick Swayze, how about Sam Elliott???  He’s one fine looking man too!!!!!

    "Even crazy people sometimes base their fiction on an ounce of truth" -Scott Sigler

  10. Seth_Harwood

    Did Soup Bone say Donkey??

    Shiiiiiiit. Guess it’s time to order the rented donkey and the strippers again. Remember everyone, as Scott Sigler once told me, "It’s not a successful Dragon Con party until Soup Bone gets arrested!"

    That’s how it be.

    SH

    author of the Jack Palms Crime series find it at sethharwood.com buy Jack Wakes Up on Palms Sunday, March 16, 08 at Amazon.com and help tell big publishing it’s time to Shake ‘Em Down!!!

  11. Loser_Love

    any junkies in Florida?

    i live in florida and we are getting ready for hurricane Fay… it sucks and i would hate to loose power, then i would not be able to read all about FDO’s news. its a shame.

  12. Scott

    Haven’t watched Olympics, movies, etc.

    I watched five minutes of a random soccer game, that’s the only Olympics I’ve seen. Haven’t seen Dark Knight, Helboy II or any other movies. All I’ve been doing is working on CONTAGIOUS. The only exception was the Dexter DVDs, because I can fire those up when I eat, watch 30 minutes of it, then get back to work.

  13. OJ_Mathis_Wrenn

    Dear Monsignor Sigler

    Have you checked out the Pride of the Maize and Blue swimmers in China?!?  Phelps is on track to break all swimming records…. 

    The Siglerverse now includes the Eve Universe.

  14. JP

    A classic!

    You quote the best stuff. Animal House, Princess Bride, Blues Brothers… dare I hope that Fletch is in the rotation too???

     

    – “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.” -Dr. Horrible

  15. DDevlin

    Soup Is On In Atlanta

    OH YAY OH YAY OH Lemme tell you somethin’, this pimpin that I got in my blood, it came from a family tree. My granddaddy was a pimp, my great great GREAT granddaddy was a pimp. I’m a simple man. All I want is enough sleep for two normal men, enough whiskey for three, and enough women for four. Now IF, Big EYE- F SoupBone can deliver on the latter  you Know I will be In The Hyatt. 

  16. soupbone

    Awww yeah ..

    That’s my kindred pimp!

    :I would like to talk to ladies of all shapes and sizes about sexy carreer oppahtumities:

  17. soupbone

    It ain’t nothing but a Bone thang …

    Attention all of you Junkies. Your devotion to my cousin is ill-founded, confounded and impounded. Allow Mister Lovey-Bone to set you straight. I will be at this Dragon*Con event, which I like because I met many ladies who were interested in new career oppahtumities. You call it a party, Tha’ Bone calls it a recruiting trip. Put on those sexay costumes, ladies, and come to the pah-tay!
    (and all you sexy menses is welcome too and all, but don’t be cutting in on Brahma Bone’s business).

    I would like to talk to ladies of all shapes and sizes about sexy carreer oppahtumities

  18. Gmork

    Mind if we dance with your dates?

    The return of Soupbone!  That is crazy AWESOME!  So is this the open invitation for us Junkies to break out the boas and and hang with ‘Soup?  Very cool…I dig!

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