Mookie the Violent: 1994(ish)-2008


Junkies, it’s a suck-ass day. Mookie the Violent has checked out. You know “those people?” The ones who don’t have kids, who show off pictures of their dogs as if the dogs were kids? That’s the Evil Queen™ and I. We have absolutely no perspective on life. We are dog people to the hilt. I’ve been around dogs my whole life, learned to walk months early by grabbing hold of the tail of our lab-mix “Coachie Boy” and standing as he walked away, pulling me up. In my life, I’ve had Coach (a family dog), Bunner (the first dog that was truly mine), Booger (dad’s dog, hung out with Bunner), Dizzy (who met an untimely demise on a highway), and then Mookie the Violent.

Mooks showed up on my doorstep one day in 1994. I was 25, and like a dumb-ass, I started putting food bowls on the porch for her. And, of course, I let her in the house. She slept in the exact same place that Dizzy had slept, and I was already hooked. One day Mooks stopped coming around. I went to every Humane Society in the area, and found her in one. She was in a cage so small she couldn’t turn around, and a Humane Society dude was washing her off with a pressurized hose. She was yelping, shivering, scared out of her mind. He was probably a volunteer and a great guy, and did not need me threatening to break his fucking neck, but at that point I knew that dog was coming with me. I adopted her, and for the past 14 years that dog went with me everywhere. When I was a single guy in my twenties, this dog basically lived in my car — everywhere I went, she went. She loved the car, it was like her kennel, and she always knew I was coming back in an hour or so. The back seat had a blanket, water, toys, it was a little slice of doggy heaven.

We moved across country three times (Michigan to Cali, Cali to Michigan, Michigan to Cali). She got to see the whole country. We tried to take every vactaion in dog-friendly hotels, because the Evil Queen™ and I really didn’t enjoy ourselves unless the dogs were with us. The single best road trip of my life was just me driving across country (Detroit to San Francisco) with a big dog bed in the front passenger seat, Mookie sitting on top so she could look out and see everything. We made that trip in two days and one night — a couple of marathon drivers, listening to a Clive Cussler novel on tape. Just me and the dog for 48 hours straight, like some Steinbeck stereotype.

Mooks weighed anywhere from 40 to 45 pounds, and she could whip ass like you wouldn’t believe. She grew up on the streets, yo, fighting for food from garbage cans, drinking water wherever she could find it. She was the sweetest little thing, but every now and then, some stupid dog, most often a bigger dog, would fuck with her, and she would morph into this snarling wild thing that belonged on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Fortunately, she never ran into a pit bull, but she kicked the holy hell out of 100-pound German shepherds (she was very racist in her early days, hated the Germans). Once I took her to see my brother, who had two 110-pound black labs. One of those labs got all up in Mookie’s shit, and she had them both on the ground, tails tucked, crying their asses off in about three seconds. It was amazing to watch. She was like the Tazmanian devil once she got wound up. She was 11-1 for the first ten years I had her (yes, I’m a male who loves fights, so I kept stats on my dog). Her nasty side faded as she got older and more and more spoiled, so she was about 2-for-4 in the rest of the serious doggy altercations. For a 40-pound ball of fluff, I’ll take a 13-5 career record any day of the week.

She’s also partially responsible for most of the fiction of mine you have listened to or read. She would sit under my desk, just hanging out while I wrote. I thought of her as my writing partner. Even when I got my closet-studio, she curled up in a 24″ by 24″ space in front of the PowerMac, always available for a chin schootch when I needed to think out a plot point or a character voice. When we were in Michigan and couldn’t afford heat, I’d set up a little blanket for her (both to keep her warm and to use her as a foot-warmer … yes, doggy labor, go ahead and turn me in to the SPCA).

Without a doubt, Mookie was my best friend. Her kidneys crapped out on her last week. It began during the SMOD™ writing retreat. She started walking slower, stopped eating regular food (I though I was smart giving her raw eggs and milk to get something in her belly). Once I got her home, it got progressively worse. The last few days she spent sleeping. There was much lovie time, lots of petting, lots of nice talk. I found the single biggest blessing to writing full-time was being able to be home with my dog 24/7 as she faded away. I used all of my Future Dark Overlord™ powers to try and heal her, but some things, apparently, are beyond even my abilities.

Last night we put Mookie the Violent down. I’m a total fucking wreck. Death is okay in fiction, in real life, it sucks balls. The SMOD™ is due in two weeks and I will meet that deadline, even if I’m bawling like a little bitch the whole time. Invest in Kleenex, my friends, the stock is about to go up.

I have two big announcements coming up, including a reveal of what this SMOD™ is all about, so I’ll dutifully communicate those — but other than that, you may not hear much from me in the next couple of weeks.

About The Author

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Comments

  1. Scott

    My condolences

    Sounds like you’ve been through the wringer, and your family as well. I’m absolutely thrilled I could dull the sharp edge of your misery, if only a bit. We all know that an ounce of escapism can make all the difference in crappy times.

  2. DrunkenGamer

    Sorry about the loss of your friend…

    When I lost one of my furry friends I cried for a week and felt hollow inside for a lot longer.  It really sucks our lifespans don’t match up with those who give us the most unselfish, non-judgemental and abundant love.

  3. dethhed

    sorry for your loss

    im a cat guy but ive lost furry loved ones too. it sucks my condolences to you and your familly.

  4. Mycroft

    Lost a dog and a cat in 2004.

    The dog was the one who kept tabs on me all thru my cancer, and was fine with us as I worked in 4 different cities over several years, including communting out and back every week or every couple of weeks.

    The dog and I were together on a trip from KS to FL, just the two of us, then had to wait for about a month for my wife to get home with the cat. He became famous ona dive report I did, waiting for me with my car keys on that trip.

    I didn’t have to make the choice to put either down, they died too fast.

    We have 1 dog now, another Cocker Spanial. You have to have a furry friend in your life.

    On a clear disk, you can seek forever.

  5. Fydaelin

    We’re with ya!

    Dog folks are good folks…. albeit Evil, twisted, bloodthirsty, gore encrusted and bent on destruction and mahem.

    We lost a four pawed friend to cancer a couple of years ago and so we have an idea of what you and the Queen are going through. We’re thinking of you.

    You did a good thing the day adopted Mookie, every day after that was gravy for her.

    We adopted another snapping, snarling, stranger chasing, barking, biting beastie shortly after the loss of the other (his name was LB…. for Little Bugger!). Not that we were trying to replace Him, it just happened that another puppy needed our help.

    Not pushing, Just planting the seed.

    Now, suck it up and don’t sniffle when you’re in the closet… the Evil Queen with beet you with the axe is you drip on the clean linen again.

    Fyd

  6. ainsliebee

    Mookie

    I sort of hope you arent reading these but if you are the depth of feeling should give you a little lift. Console yourself that you gave a great life to a great dog and that the first day she turned up on your porch was the start to a new journey in both your lives.

  7. zaphodbblx

    Doggie heaven

    Scott Im sorry for your loss. As a dog person(and a bunny person and a rat person and a cat person…you get the idea) I know how much it hurts to have to do the right thing for our furry friends. Sometimes all we can do is end the pain they suffer, We know it’s the right thing to do but it still hurts..no matter how bad ass and evil over-lordy we are

  8. Ruby_Wolf

    I can’t stand it.

    My love pup, Nanuk, is nearing her 14th b-day.  She sleeps all the time and sometimes that sleep is so intense I have to touch her to make sure she is still breathing.  Of course, then she jumps.  Overall, she is in really good health.  Her hip muscles have shrunk (she’s around 50 lbs) and I feed her glucosamine every day.  Seems to work.  Anyway, Scott, you being a dog person, I knew there was a reason I was drawn to your website (besides the free podcasts).  Hugs and much empathy on your loss.

  9. Monty_Grue

    How Sad

    The loss of an animal pal is never easy.  They’re kind of like people, only with fur, four legs (usually), and mostly lacking language and math skills.  They are still part of the family.

  10. sail1313

    Bumming with You…

    Hey Scott sorry to hear about Mookie the Violent. We’re animal people

    here too, but currently without dogs.

    One of my sister’s is a K9 officer and we’re waiting for her next retiree.

    Therein lies a lot of stories…

     

    Nocturnal has been awesome.  Take your time.  We can wait and of 

    course FDO we will buy the books!

     

    Greg B.

  11. DougS

    Sorry for your loss

    I’ve had to bury a couple of my pets, and understand the feeling. It’s never easy, but I have fond memories of all of them and don’t regret any of the time I spent with them, or the pain I felt at the end.

  12. BarbaraJ

    Duncan my Punkin

    Scott,
    I grew up with dogs.  My first dog was Fina – a gorgeous female German Shepherd, and she was my soulmate from cradle to 4th grade when she went to play ball in the sky.
    Kraut was a beauty and he lived a long, happy life.
    Duncan my Punkin was a gorgeous young Sheltie when he died and it broke my heart.  It also broke the heart of his brother, Connor.  We’ve since brought Skye into our house to play with Connor and he’s happy again.
    As for cats, they are too numerous to mention but some that I’ve held during their last breath are Spike, Glenda, Noel and Fred.
    Screw those folks who forget that you give us your work for free – you rock, my Evil Overlord, and I’m going to send you some dog cookies.  That’s cookies shaped like dogs – not cookies for dogs.
    Tastes Like Chicken

  13. MuchAdo

    Sorry Scott

    I won’t even try to say anything to make you feel better because I know nothing will!  Being a pet lover myself, I can empathise with you and the Evil Queen!  Thanks for sharing with us.

    "Even crazy people sometimes base their fiction on an ounce of truth" -Scott Sigler

  14. 67comet

    Heart Felt “Sorry Scott”

    Scott I’m super sorry to hear bout Mookie the Violent. I lost my cat Elvis (he and I have been chillin’ since 1994 also) two holliday seasons ago after I visited him on leave. I found him while I was stationed in Italy (Aviano AB) and he was with me until I moved here to Japan (Kadena AB on Okinawa). I left him at home because he just never seemed right the year before. A year after I got here, my mother dropped me a quick note to say he had died the night before (calling with the time differance is difficult, so she e-mailed me the news).

     

    Hopefully your hangin’ in there, and I know you are keepin’ busy.

     

    Take care,

    Justin

  15. wiredpig

    Always in my thoughts

    When I heard it on the podcast I was hoping all would be okay. I am truly sorry for your loss. My initial thought is – take your time. Heal, and as PG said, we’ll be here when you get back. 

     

    Wired Pig
    Married, again, with 5 daughters… Scott has NO idea what true horror is.
    Twitter: WiredPig
    Blog: http://blog.wiredpig.us

  16. tremers

    F—

    Just read the news Scott. Very sad, I understand exactly what you have just gone through. My own experience only 2 months ago.

    She sounds like a real mate, a real treasure of a find that generated a mutual bond between the two of you. Saying goodbye just seem so inadequate.

    I feel for you.

    I could say some philosophical shit like as one door closes another opens, but that just sounds like bull crap in a moment like this.

    Be strong my Overlord!

  17. ext237

    So sorry to hear about your loss

    I know just what you’re going through. We had to put "One", our pet cat of 16 years, to sleep.

    She was a great friend … I would never put up with 16 years of nasty litter boxes, wet stinky food and twice-montly slimy hairballs on my bed from any human. 

     

     

  18. glshade

    condolences

    Hello – FDO my brother. You have my condolences for your loss. I know what it is like to have to put down a beloved animal and one that was bee a part of you life for so long…..damn I’m sorry man. Take the time you need – really us junkies can get by in the mean times. I’m moving back to the bay area after 5 years away – maybe sometime we we run into one another – I will buy you a drink and toast to lost lovedones – of all kinds – feel what you need – you loyal loving junkies will wait……hear that dont bother the man in his grief….

     

     

    GL

  19. redhedtexan

    horrable news

     these things are a soul drainer, but at the same time something else is replaced.a hole the size of a square is removed, and something that replaces it is round there are still little gaps left over and you are not the same but the gaps will heal slowly and mookie remains.

    TEXANS unite bring the dark overlord to his true home

  20. n8man

    Sorry for your loss.

    Family is family, human or otherwise. Family above all.
    Nate Dogg… "life is hard. But it’s one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

  21. davielad

    Sorry to hear the news..

    I can’t believe it scott. You sounded so pissed off on your last post of nocturnal now i understand! Im sorry to hear the news. You’ve just lost a dear family member… my thoughts are with you! I cant believe people have been giving you shit about your timekeeping we all know your ALWAYS ON TIME, how dare they call themselves JUNKIES! Stick in my friend and i hope to hear what you’ve been up to on your Secret Mission Of Death soon. I will buy you a stiff drink when you hit the U.K someday!

  22. Shadygirl

    I’m so sorry

    I’m so sorry to hear about Mookie. I lost one of my horses last year and I still miss him every day. Take your time. All the junkies are thinking about you and the Dark Queen and we are here for you.

    A cowgirl is a woman with guts and a horse.

  23. SynapticJam

    You have my condolences.

     Lif is like that sometimes….  

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (ain’t I special)

  24. Nelzone

    My Heart goes out to the Masta Pimp

    Scott - 

     

    I am so sorry to hear about Mookie. 

     

    I, and anyother dedicated junkies, could hear and feel the pain in your

    voice at the end of the last ep. 

     

    As cheesy as it may sound – know that you are loved, in at totally straight way,

    by a slighly twisted, bunch of damn dirty junkies. Remember Callahan’s Law:

    "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased—thus do we refute

    entropy."(Spider Robinson)

     

    Cheers, 

    Nelson / Nelzone

     

    Taste is the Enemy of Art

  25. stormwalker4

    Mookie

     Sorry for the loss of your dog Mookie. Hang in there Scott. Also, let me apologize on behalf of all the oj’s for the morons that called themselves taking you to task over what is very good, and very free podcast fiction. You are the best, and still ontime.  If they don’t like Infection in the feed then they should piss off. Keep up the good work and stay strong. stormwalker

  26. RandyNose

    Lost friends.

    You’re in my thoughts dude.Cry -  Might there be an Old Yeller type story coming out of this?

    In honour of Mookie The Violent?

    R__

    Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. – Ford Prefect

  27. floridagirl99k

    I am so sorry!

    I’m so sorry.  I know what it’s like to lose a dog.  I hope you and your wife feel better. 

  28. The_Shadow

    Our Deepest Condolences

    If there is any justice in life or death, she will be there waiting for you when it’s your time to crossover. Hang tough Brother.

    [flickr-photo:id=2616724764,size=m]

    ~~~~Molly~~~~

  29. Victornetto

    I grieve with you man!

    Hey, Scott, I´m so sorry to know about your loss!! I have three dogs at home and I love them so much!! I can imagine the pain you´re feeling…..

    I Hope you fell better soon our Dark Lord!!

     

     

  30. treed

    condolences

    in the past few years i have had to put down or have die 3 pets (one dog two cats) i understand the grief, prayers and well wishes
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    reread the posting. all of our pets adopted us, that some how makes them more dear and special, knowing they found us and stayed. Mookie new quality and choose you. I know the loss. prayers.

  31. Michl7of9

    I lost my friend of 15 years

    Mr. Sigler,

    I lost my boy Toby (cocker spaniel) after 15 years of friendship around Christmas 2007.  I know what you  are going through, it doers suck.

    Take care of yourself and remember Mooks is looking down on you smiling.

    7of9

  32. tsolo888

    Your loss is our loss Scott.

    Putting my dog to sleep was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  My heart goes out to you man….Tsolo888 <AKA Cpt. Travis Ellis> – Out, Click here to Digg Infected

  33. BukaHobbit

    Someday I Hope To Be…

    "Someday I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am." Not sure who said that but it sums up our relationship with dogs. They see us in the best light and somehow know our best selves. It is impossible to explain the companionship of a good dog to a person who has never experienced it. In the end, you did the right thing and helped her pass peacefully. I have had to make that call before, and it sucks, but it is the right thing to do.

  34. wallerdad

    Sorry Scott

     I feel for you, we are going through a similar situation. I have a 14 year old son and a 14 year old Shi Tzu, Spot.  Spot is fading on us fast and we thought we weregoing to lose him a few weeks ago.  My son is going to be devastated and the whole family is gonna take it hard when Spot passes.

     

    This sucks, I’m sorry for your lose FDO

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT

  35. Pjotr_NL

    condolences

     sorry to hear about Mookie. our thoughts go out to you and mrs FDO these next few weeks.

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

  36. HTI

    Sad day for you

    Those days are sad when you loose the best friend.  

     

     

    Things go wrong and that is how we learn

  37. JZ

    Condolences

    We’re dog-people ourselves and dread the day the little ugly mutt kicks it…

    Sorry for your loss – thank you for a great blog, even though the subject sucks.

  38. Cofactory

    Sorry to hear about Mookie

    May he be chasing Ancestors and taking care of Quentin in better place.    We now the FDO has true love and heart made of Paltinum.

     

    Take Care Bro

    I know how much this hearts.

  39. rivarij99

    mooks

    very sorry scott, i know it’s rough. May GOD bless

    Just because I kiss the prettiest girls and drive my truck too fast,…

  40. rasplundjr

    condolences

    I remember when my Ma and I had to put down our Dobes when I was younger….  I still get all teary when I think about them….  Non-Animal lovers won’t understand what a knife to the soul that is…

     

    Sorry about your loss, you’re in my prayers…. 

  41. Just_Another_Junkie

    I’m so sorry

    Reading of your lose brought tears to my eyes. It’s always hard to lose someone that you love. Just remember weeks, months, years from now when you’re stuck on some plot point and you reach down to scratch Mookie’s ear and grasp empty air, that it’s not really empty, she’s still there waiting for you.

  42. Contra

    Condolences

    I’m sorry.  I know how card it can be when you suddently realise there is something wrong with a loved pet and realise it could be the end. 

     

    I feel your pain.

     

    anyone in hte SF area can go and give Sigler a hug? 

     

    – Mike—–>

  43. I-M-Me

    Till you meet again

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.


    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,

    that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play

    together.
    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who

    were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them

    in our dreams of days and times gone by.
    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss

    someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks

    into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.

    Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass,

    his legs carrying him faster and faster.
    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,

    you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

    The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head,

    and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet,

    so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Author unknown…

     

    Scott… our Condolences

  44. PGHolyfield

    Thank you for sharing Mookie with us, Scott.

    We are not worthy, but it was a great honor to read about the Mookster. 

    Grieve. Kill something. Recover. We’ll be here waiting when you get back.

     

    Murder at Avedon Hill – podcast novel by P.G. Holyfield – http://pgholyfield.com/maah

  45. ogreoregon

    Mookie the Violent…she picked the right porch to hang out on.

    Wife or Husband, Children, Friends and Family, yes they love us, but they are only human.  I am certain that the only truly unconditional love we experience in life is given to us by our canine friends.
    I too, echo Wolfs sentiments and I shed a few tears remembering my own Gone Dogs…. Cindy, CindyToo, Rowdy,Pandora,Pepper, and PolkaDot(Pokey).
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

  46. RobinInSeoul

    Goodbye old friend

    I’ve had and lost 8 fantastic dogs and one cat over my life, Scott, and losing them *never* gets easier. Especially when you’re the one that has to make that decision to put them out of their misery.

     

    Remember Mookie as she was and know that you did the best you could for her.

  47. Wolf

    KoKo and I send our condolences.

    Your fiction has sent all kinds of emotions our way, but nothing put a lump in my throat or, dammit, a tear or two in my eyes like reading of your loss. Take your time, sir. those of us who care can wait it out. Those that can’t can get fucked.

  48. AcousticMonster

    I too, am sorry!

    I feel your pain Scott, I’m a dog owner too! I’ll try and send you another AcousticMonster ukulele video. Not sure if will make up for your fuzzy buddy though.

  49. cianmm

    That sucks

    Scott, that sucks. I have a cat, affectionatly named Kitty, and she has, on more then one occasion has kicked the living crap out of a dog. We are talking dislocated tale stuff.

     

    I have no idea what I will do when she decides to kick the bucket, having already lost one cat (Pushín, which is the IRISH for "kitty") and dammit… I sort of know what you are feeling.

     Sure, I was in bits after loosing a goldfish. A FRIGGING GOLDSIFH!

     So… take as much time as you want. 

  50. bsweichsel

    I know what you mean. My dog

    I know what you mean. My dog that I had when I was a young boy we had to put him to sleep. and out of all the deaths that I’ve gone threw I’ve never cried at a single person’s furneal but when my dog died. I was a fucking mess for weeks I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Just wanted my dog back.

     

    You’ll be in my thoughts for the next few weeks. 

  51. jtswambo

    dood

    sorry 2 hear

    mookie is a cool name and 13-5 was better than my dog’s. Woody the beast was 0-3 one was a nasty dog, one was a sheep and one was a hoover.  He just past away :( know how you feel 

     

    what’s wrong with a bit of senseless violence to a lemming?

    they’re only going to walk off a cliff.

  52. fluffyMcFlufferson

    I’m sorry too

    After reading all of these comments, I want to give you my condolences too. We adopted 2 kittens last year and I don’t know what I would do without them. 

     

    ….I love fluffy bunnies

    Amy

  53. w_nightshade

    People without pets won’t understand

    But we do.  Much sympathy.  [I think, therefore I'm right. -Hugo Rune]

  54. foolkiller79

    Condolences

    My condolences go out to you, Scott.  I have always been a pet guy and I know how hard that is.

  55. SickFuckForster

    sorry to hear that scott

    sorry to hear that scott that sucks man.i lost a cat in january and it was bollacks

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