This topic contains 84 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Avatar of Mathis Wrenn Mathis Wrenn 5 years, 11 months ago.

Worst movies….ever

  • Avatar of Mathis Wrenn

    Thats what happens when you make a movie about a crappy video game…. since it’s subject is crappy…it HAS to be crappy.

    "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

    General George S. Patton Jr.

    Avatar of Shiraz Zia

    What a waste of time.

    Too many characters

    No story

    No plot

    No character development

    Bad acting

    Pointless

    Too much talk with no relevance to anything.

    Unscary monsters

    In the immortal words of Socrates "I Drank What?!"

    Avatar of Mathis Wrenn

    Eragon the movie.  They raped the book up its nose.

    W.

    The scifi channel knock-off of  War of the Worlds.

     King Cobra 2

    "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

    General George S. Patton Jr.

    Avatar of Barbara Jungbauer

    I can’t decide.  There are four pieces of total crap that stand out from all the rest like … little fly covered piles of cinematic feces.

    Titantic
    The Ring
    Dead Heat  (zombie cops are not good)
    Battlefield Earth (and i LOVED that book)

    Tastes Like Chicken

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    The same for dumb and dumberer.

    “I still can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.”

    Avatar of Gmork

    While I like a potty/snot/fart joke as much as the next guy, the title of this movie was prophetic.  It’s only the second movie I’ve ever turned off after struggling through the first half hour.

    Avatar of Chuck Baker

    I watched that POS and felt like a dorked over postal worker when it was done. I want to sue the studio for a return of the lifeforce I wasted watching that lousy flick.

     

    Fargo is not far behind …

    Avatar of Shiraz Zia

    yes.. that’s what proximity to my mind tend to do to things..

    In the immortal words of Socrates "I Drank What?!"

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    I havent watched it yet myself. My cousin work on that film. My cousins son got to play one of Santas elves. Thought of watching it just for that reason but havent got a round to it yet. Hopefully I will do so before Santa Clause XXIII hits the screen!

    “I still can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.”

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    (By the voices, those damnable voices!)  >:) But as to doing what….. Muuuwwaahaha!! I’ll just keep that to myself! That way I can keep Wolf from having any further nightmares!!!

    “I still can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.”

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. Not after f***ing brunch! – Mooj

    Avatar of J.P.

    to revote for Barton Fink. There just aren’t words to describe the overwhelming crapulence of this flick. It was crap. Poop, even. Very poopie.

    – “The adverb is not your friend.” -Stephen King, “On Writing”

    Avatar of Shiraz Zia

    Well I wear size 12 shoes so I’d get no love if you had a ‘little foot’ fetish..

    In the immortal words of Socrates "I Drank What?!"

    Avatar of Shiraz Zia

    I liked Howard the Duck

    although it has been nearly 2 decades since I watched it and my fond memories of it may be tainted….

    In the immortal words of Socrates "I Drank What?!"

    Avatar of Antony Gitsham

    My wife bought this on DVD and said, come on, watch it, you will love it!  What a waste of a couple of hours of my life!

     

    Enough said!

    Avatar of J. Vargas

    3 words:

    Bring 

    it 

    On

    I’ve been subjected to this ultimate torture.  I have cheerleaders in the family.  

    Now that I think of it, ALL dance-themed movies are garbage!!!

    But I shall make an example of this one.

    Avatar of Emily Cano

    I agree

    Avatar of Wolf

    and after they promised that there could be only one. 

    "In remission for 35 days. YeeHaw!"

    Avatar of Shirley Bruce

    Santa clause 3.  Lord I had to sit through that with my Niece!!!!

    "Even crazy people sometimes base their fiction on an ounce of truth" -S. Sigler

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    Or did they just listened to their eight year old who hadn’t read the book in 6 months for a description

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    Reprising his role from "IT". Then maybe he would show them his dead lights and feast on all the little Ompalompas!

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    I’m gonna have to re-read the books and watch the movies and figure out all they screwed up in the movie. I like doing that with Harry Potter. Except they didn’t screw up the movies, they just left some parts out, not entire plot points. The Eragon movie wasn’t that bad a movie for someone that didn’t read the book but a total disappointment for anyone who read the book.

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    and I didn’t think it was that bad. I kinda liked the Health Inspector. It had its moments.

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of

    Why did they use the same dude for everything? What, they couldn’t afford to pay for more than one midget? That was messed up. How many midget actors and extras are in Hollywood, looking for those rare parts? When word came down Charlie was being remade, they probably went out and bought SUVs in anticipation of the big pending check.

    Avatar of Wolf

    My record is 42 days. I’m really hoping to bust that wide ass open! 

    "In remission for 33 days. YeeHaw!"

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     While Norbit overall wasn’t a good flick. I did have some moments worth a little chuckle. (you noticed I said "a few moments" I meant that in the literal sense!) Also glad to see your count up continue to climb!!

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Wolf

    Howard The Duck

    Leonard Part 6

    Batman and Robin ( I swear I tried three times to watch this POS and fell asleep all 3 times)

    Battlefield Earth

    Stop or My Mom Will Shoot! ( she should have shot Stallone!)

    Larry the Cable Guy; Health Inspector (should have been condemned)

    Ghost Dad (it died early)

    What’s the Worst that Could Happen? ( this movie answered it’s own question)

    Norbit

    Anything with David Spade

    I didn’t include sequels or remakes. Most of them should never be made in the first place!

    "In remission for 33 days. YeeHaw!"

    Avatar of Adan Maskery

    Picture the early 90′s.  A teenage son and his dad up late working on a project for school.  No one is home and they are looking for something on HBO.  Then there is a title, Frankenhooker.  It is funny enough for them to watch it.  You will never see a 15 year old son and his 33 year old father laugh so hard in your life.  Horrible movie.  So bad you had to laugh.  A man, who drills holes in his head to relieve stress, builds a frankenstein’s monster out of hookers.  If it wasn’t so bad I would say not to see it.  But if you have time to waste in your life watch it.

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    When they showed the chicken being beheaded. I was 5 years old. I wasn’t ready for that

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    A movie shouldn’t take out plot points that are in the book that are crucial plot points in the book’s sequel!

    The new book seems to be more original. I am currently reading it right now and liking it.

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Gmork

     To eacch his own…hoping for more originality out of his most recent release.  I’d be surprised, however if they make anmore movies out of the books.  It’s a shame because it at least had potential as a movie.

    Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. Whatever you do, don’t blink.

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    I know it is a rehashing, lacking any originality. There are so many books like that, I can’t even count. Many do it badly. This may sound strange, but I liked the way he did it. I enjoyed the books.  You could consider Eragon an everyman’s fantasy.  Many people don’t care about a book being plagiarized, as long as they are entertained.

    Think of all David Eddings Books: They are all rehashes of the same story, but they are good rehashes

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

     You don’t make Willy Wonka look like edward scissorhands (a good Johnny Depp Movie).  He looked like he was going to molest all the little children there.

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    They could have had at  least a small montage of growth. It was a pretty short movie anyways. I don’t know what they were smoking when they made up the menacing cloud of doom. Somebody must have expelled some smoke when he was smoking marijuana and said "This would be a great idea for Durza’s steed!". they should have kept in the original duel sequence. Saphira coming out of the sapphire rose would have looked so cool in CGI. Also, WTF was with the Urgals.  This was supposedly a big budget movie.  Another thing, the lack of elves pointed ears. My other gripe is the ending.

    *Raises the WTF flag?

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Gmork

    Both the movie and the books are both major fails, imho.

    Understanding that Christopher Paolini was just a kid when he wrote Eragon, the plot/characters/environments are all thinly veiled regurgitations of other well established fantasy books.  I really wanted to like his books too, but it ended up amounting to an amalgalm of Anne McCaffery’s Dragonriders of Pern, with a sprinkle of The Belgariad, a dash of Star Wars, and a gravy toping of LoTR.  It’s one thing to take inspiration from someone else’s work,…hell, many books are just a rehashing of greek or roman mythology or the Faustian dilemma, etc.  But at least there is some original twist … Paolini’s books border on plagarism.  Unfortunately the movie version of Eragon ended up so diluted that it was a hollow shell of the already barely tolerable books.  One can only hope Brsingr brings some maturation of his writing style.

    Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. Whatever you do, don’t blink.

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    at least for me. You can’t have him ridng the dragon for days and days, in a time lapse. The thing that was the worst was the Durza death and dragon thing. WTF was that???

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    was Uber creepy by itself! He looked like a character from the "Tales from the Darkside"

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of michelle mcmichael

    it was just creepy!  i kept waiting for the guy from dateline to show up!

    Avatar of john bennett

    hell if it taste like chicken,bring me chicken!

                                                        rodney carigton

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     But you are totally correct! What a waste of time that movie is! My kids even liked the old version better.

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of michelle mcmichael

    i watch alot of kids shows because of my kids so i would have to say out of everything Charlie and the chocolate factory is the worst movie ever!  i grew up with the original willy wonka and they butchered it for the new generations! 

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    It’s probably pretty bad. Robocop 1 was a great movie. Starship Troopers was pretty good (lol at the ending), but the underlying imagery was taking it a little far. VERY few sequels are better than the originals. There are always exceptions though (Shrek 2, Dark Knight, Star wars V,VI, etc.)

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

     I loved the book too! one of my favorite series. (currently devouring Brisingr).  The movie should have followed the plotline of the book a little more closely (LOTR deviated slightly from the plot, but at least they kept in major characters). I liked it at first, but it lost me at the part where saphira transformed. I would recommend the movie for a family (with young children) movie night thing, but not for anything more serious than that. Plot butchering of that magnitude shouldn’t exist

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     dont worry my mother in law is a movie idiot as well.  and she constantly watches HGN *shudders*

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

    im almost scared to watch…almost

     Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of J.P.

    Starship Troopers 2. SUCKED. Big. Nuf said.

    – “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.” -Dr. Horrible

    Avatar of J.P.

    is a movie idiot. (Shit, did I say that???)

    – “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.” -Dr. Horrible

    Avatar of Jo-Ann Caputo

     I was going the the channels the other day and came on Robo Cop 3. OMFG that was definitely one of the worse films ever. I actually never like any of them but that one really sucked. I swear I was losing brain cells for the little bit I actually watched.

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     although Im not sure even that would have helped it.

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of J.P.

    but Barton Fink sucked ass. It has my vote for one of the worst ever. That was several hours of my life that, to this day, I still don’t know what happened to them. Or what the actual point of the movie was. And I wasn’t even drinking!

    – “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.” -Dr. Horrible

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     It fits

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Gmork

     there’s a part in ‘Watchmen’ (the graphic novel) that has a murderer doing the dog feeding thing to a kid…..sick shit

    Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. Whatever you do, don’t blink.

    Avatar of john bennett

     the 5 extera guys that were sent to guard the hidden goat path.

    ITS A WAIST OF EYE SPACE!!!

    IT OFFENDS MY EARHOLES!!!

    hell if it taste like chicken,bring me chicken!

                                                        rodney carigton

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     Thats exactly what I meant…yea

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    but it was kinda meant for the kids but the parents could have liked it when the babies botched English phrases, like "over my dad’s potty. But mainly it was a fun show that anyone could like.

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    Too damned butchered and made to be PC.

    And there was a something similar to the the T-bone on the bone thing. In Sin City Marv cuts up Ole whats his name and lets the dog eat on him! 

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     It was a rather hit and miss as far as episodes went. Sometimes they were a blast others, meh.

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Nathan Wells

    Nate Dogg… The only signature I need is my fist.

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     having read Michael Crichton’s original (a good book but not his best) I cant believe how much they butchered this. they took out some of the best parts of the book and inserted HUGE piles of Hutchinsss with little kernals of Rossi in it.

    and wow..Highlander 2 "The Quickening" wasnt quick enough for me either. too bad there can be only one….level of hell we can stick the guy that made that movie.

    oh and P.S. that tbone and wolves thing… that would be cool in a movie why dont we ever get to see that shit? huh?? my vote for that treatment?? the Gay army guy that Rick Schroeder played in andromeda strain. there are 2×4′s at my local Home Depot that act less wooden than him. I hope he dreams of silver spoons and this movie….every night forever

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of

    Fuck me, hands-down this is the worst piece of crap ever. It’s almost as bad as Highlander 2, but at least Highlander 2 was only 90 minutes long. Andromeda was four hours of please-stick-broken-glass-in-my-eyes misery. I’d tell you to watch it to see just how bad it is, but that would be like me telling you to strap a t-bone to your junk and walk into a pack of rabid wolves — there’s some things you just don’t do.

    Avatar of Nathan Wells

    Nate Dogg… The only signature I need is my fist.

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     the show was fucking hilarious.

    MST3k fact: the first guy, Joel Robinson was actually the series creator Joel Hodgson, and his replacement Mike Nelson was the head writer for the show.

    More Shadowrama!

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Gmork

     I actually joined their fan club at the height of their popularity.  I never missed an episode..until they got the new guy

    Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. Whatever you do, don’t blink.

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     that show was the shiznit! i have all of them on dvd, never laughed so hard. too bad its over, ive seen a couple of "fanfic" type shows, but it wasn’t the same

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Gmork

     paid to see this in the cinema.  When the bunch of us who went to see it realized just what a B-movie it was, it turned into MST3K.  Every time the camera angle went to the snake’s perspective we should shout "SNAKE VISION"!!

    Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. Whatever you do, don’t blink.

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     Freds a swinger from way back

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     sorry but I missed the boat on that one. watched a couple of episodes and said to myself, "self, these parents ought to be executed" at the very least arrested, and put in the stockade in the pubic square so that all may throw rotten Tomatoes at them.

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     Whats wrong with a little foot fetish! :p

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    I thought it might be interesting, but I now know I was wrong. The Love Guru might be the same.

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    I read the book and loved it. The movie didn’t do a good job of book to movie transition but it was pretty good nonetheless.

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    I had to change it because JP said that it had to do with a "foot fetish".

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    I guess thats a new one on me. I will go look it up now on IMDB.

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     Sorry but I had to get up and leave. Just to much, I couldnt sit there and watch anymore private parts get bit!

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     Uh, or her either! ;)

    “Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I’ll have a witty and blistering retort! You’ll be devastated THEN!

    Avatar of john bennett

     if you know it….im sorry.

    if you were in it …shame shame

    if you liked it..explain your self please

    hell if it taste like chicken,bring me chicken!

                                                        rodney carigton

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     if tht quote is Rugrats, but he did list it as one of his favorite shows

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Nathan Wells

    Nate Dogg… The only signature I need is my fist.

    Avatar of michelle mcmichael

    that’s funny thanks for the laugh!

    Avatar of Ian Bahas

    anything by the disney channel

    Disaster movie

    Eragon

    and…

     baby geniuses 2

    GO OSU!

    Avatar of Jason Collins

     are regular porn stars that discover that the audience loves to watch a live human girl fucking a zombie and then mid act she starts to chop off or stab bits and the whole damn movie had to have been shot on a handycam (its more than horrible)

    Zombie strippers was more of a regular zombie flick that just involved strippers and Jenna Jameson and FREDDY KRUEGER! you heard it here folks! Freddy likes zombie strippers!

    one, two freddy’s cummin on you…*spooge*

    three, four he likes the back door (spit and shove)

    etc..you get the idea lol

    Assassins do it from behind

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    I would have thought Zombie Strippers would have been zombie porn.

    G-Man

    When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. -Angelica Pickles

    Avatar of Jason Collins

    Wow, I just got done watching one of THE WORST movies I have ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of movies.

    the movie is "Johnny Sunshine Maximum Violence" (yep thats the real title)  I think that the title is the only good thing going for it. it’s about…wait for it…wait for it… a new subculture of ppl who make Zombie pr0n! OMFG my eyes are bleeding after this one. so while I heal I thought I’d ask what other horrible movies you might have watched so that I may avoid them like the plague, I don’t think i can take a movie of that caliber for a while. *curls into a fetal position in the corner*

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