This topic contains 183 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Avatar of BigJohn BigJohn 2 years, 8 months ago.

Siglimericks!

  • Avatar of BigJohn
    Come this Saturday, 9 PST
    I’ll give you one guess where I’ll be.
    My hands will be steady,
    Credit card at the ready,
    For a low number on the MVP!
    Avatar of Belladonna420

    What?! I’m not on top anymore.
    Not gonna lie, I’m a little sore.
    Been mounted, not once but twice.
    And I assure you, it wasn’t nice.
    I will have my spot back once more!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    There was a QB called Don Pine

    Who gambled all of the time
    These gambling debts
    from these poorly judged bets
    Left him committing the worst footballing crime
    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Yay! Rohi’s back! Hopefully to stay this time. :)

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I’m back with a vengeance and rhyming

    So you admire my impeccable timing
    With a cameo from Quentin
    I’m really just venting
    To again get this forum page climbing
    Avatar of GJ

    I’m only yanking his chain! :)
    [flickr-photo:id=5353037802,size=m] & Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    BigJohn posted that in May of last year… I’m not sure you were even a Junkie then. You’re one of us now and there’s no greater honor than that! Kiss

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo. * *

    Avatar of GJ

    Cry that’s what happens when you go a way for a week Cry

    out of sight, out of rhyme.

    [flickr-photo:id=5353037802,size=m] & Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of GJ

    [flickr-photo:id=5353037802,size=m] & Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Alex Miller

    your right

    Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes

    Avatar of Bradley Henry

    Combat Cook

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    king, decree and Macbeth don’t rhyme… Undecided

    I’m just sayin’…

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo. * *

    Avatar of Alex Miller

    You think of yourself as the king,

    but I am here to challenge that decree,

    For like macbeth I shall kill,

    for the kings title of rhyming skill

    but not end up beheaded like the flawed macbeth

    Avatar of Bradley Henry

    Combat Cook

    Avatar of Beth_Ailis

    [flickr-photo:id=5069365035, size=m] [flickr-photo:id=4347154616] Pusher and member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Alex Miller

    There once was a man called Randy Wright,

    Who in the end didn’t put up much of a fight,

    For the silver bugs did heave,

    And Randys hands off they did cleave,

    While his friend Angus did nothing but watch

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Though I’d hate to sound like a martyr

    I struggled to pay for The Starter

    and now for The All Pro

    I’ll probably go

    and my ass for some cash I will barter

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    When it comes down to lyrics; I own

    tho I know that some will make you groan

    now the time’s come at last

    I’ve returned from the past

    to reclaim my lyrical throne

    _________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    WTF has happened to this thread

    You would think that poetry was dead

    Surely something is wrong

    I’ve not been gone that long

    now the lyricbeast needs to be fed

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Said the Pookster when his telephone rang, “Dang!”
    “A hot she-wolf with dripping red fangs sang?
    Get Bri-Bri in the loop, group,
    I’ve got my hula hoop, whoop!
    With my barstool I’ll bust out the Chang Bang!”

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I say I’m the king of this forum,
    Elected by me as a quorum.
    Though I’m not a first-timer,
    I chose a bad rhymer,
    And I’m stuck using “dwarf pittosporum”

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Oh, Siglimericks, how I’ve missed your sweet rhyme
    I’m so sad that I haven’t had time
    To keep up my mad pace
    In the crack whoring race
    I guess I’m too far past my prime

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Just saying…

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback, Pusher and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    “But I’m always dreaming. Even when I’m awake.”

    Avatar of athanas

    **head explodes**

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Sigler’s books smack me with a ka-pow

    I must wipe fearful sweat from my brow.

    Come June Twenty-two,

    An Old Evil’s Coming for you.

    What it is sure as fuck ain’t no cow!

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Limericks, yes I’ve written a few

    Here’s a silly one that I wrote for you

    With a seven-five-seven

    This poetry’s heaven

    Ha! A limerick about a haiku!

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    it’s been a long time since I posted

    Of Siglimmericks I once always boasted

    that i was a master

    a lyrical caster

    But I’m afraid too long I have coasted

    But that laziness, it ends here and now

    I must step it up and this I vow

    this now is a start

    bad habbits I part

    I shall work hard and reclaim my crown

    Avatar of BigJohn

    But I still thought it was a good one:

    A tutor who taught on the flute,
    Tried to teach two tooters to toot.
    Said the two to the tutor,
    “Is it harder to toot, or
    To tutor two tooters to toot?”

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of steve libby

    Sad but oh so much fun

    Take no prisoners. Take no …. fart jokes because poop jokes are much funnier!

    Avatar of steve libby

    poopericks rock!

    Take no prisoners. Take no …. empty rolls!

    Avatar of steve libby

    Hadn’t seen this one before so i thunked I would give it a go

    Take no prisoners. Take no …. needles and pins!

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    *The Juicer*, Head Biker Babe, Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    [flickr-photo:id=4607874222,size=m][flickr-photo:id=4607874212,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    *The Juicer*, Head Biker Babe, Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    [flickr-photo:id=4607874222,size=m][flickr-photo:id=4607874212,size=m]

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I agree that while having a poo

    I enjoy the odd podcast or two

    I know that it’s wrong

    when I sit there too long

    and find I too can’t get off the loo

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of BigJohn

    That made me laugh out loud. That’s fucking awesome. I’m giving you 100 CH for that bit of awesome!

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of steve libby

    I find podcasted stories so neat
    while you poop it can be such a treat
    I’m a king on his throne
    legs are starting to moan
    Holy crap I am stuck to the seat

    Take no prisoners. Take no …. yeah. about that!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I’m absent for a couple of weeks

    what happened siglimerick geeks?

    with an absence so short

    I wouldn’t have thought

    That the poem production’s so bleak

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    It worked! Woo hoo! (I’m on board though with the coffee… off I go)

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Junkies are the very best,

    Junkies just like Kevinesque,

    It’s hard to list them all

    The short ones and the tall

    But none of them can qualify as less!

    Kiss

    (I know, not a great rhyming pattern but the right sentiment! I’ll think of a better one after I’ve had more coffee!)

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    hmm…cant put my finger on it. In the mean time I’m going to go cry in the corner.Cry

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Gmork

    Look at that! I’m the glue that holds the limerick together? Awesome!
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Nice work!

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    What happened! Of course you were in there! In fact, you were on two lines – i must have removed you from both! Oh no…I’m so sorry!

    You were supposed to be after Rohi:

    Finaldrive, ScottEPond, Beth, I AM–
    Rohipnol, Gmork and Synaptic Jam
    muchado, slackerqueen
    possumcowboy, UV

    Curzon79 and phantom!

    now it fits in the 9-9-6-6-9 pattern that was supposed to be there!
    I told you it was hard. :(

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Gmork

    No room for Gmork? Cry
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    ARealGirl, sadock, Wolf and JP
    athanas, exotiKali,
    BigJohn, belladonna,
    shadygirl and jayguana
    mycroft, twowire and PD4D

    Finaldrive, ScottEPond, Beth, I AM–
    Rohipnol and Synaptic Jam
    muchado, slackerqueen
    possumcowboy, UV

    Curzon79 and phantom!

    (It’s not perfect, but it was pretty hard!)

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m proud to say I am a Junkie
    Somewhat crude, and a little bit spunky
    I sure love to hang
    With my new Junkie gang
    This place rawks! (Though it smells a bit funky…)

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Gmork

    these limericks are outstanding!
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I think you need a time out mister!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BLARGHYEARGGROWWLLRRAHHHRRR

    ROOARRRRGRARRRHARRGG BLEARRGHGRRR

    GRRAARWWWRRRGG

    FRROAARRRRGG

    BRRAAARRRWWRRRLRLLGGRRRRR

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I agree with your sentiment

    that there’s no place that I’d rather vent

    psychotic intentions

    and things that aren’t mentioned

    at work and in daily events

    I never thought that so much pleasure

    could be had from poetry in this measure

    but with our junkie pack

    there’s no better craic

    in these forums perused at your leisure

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    I find that I must second phan rev’s emotion
    and take time to express my great devotion
    you are my online family
    honor none can compare to be
    Joined here past any country, border, or ocean.

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    If you’re looking for a place on the net

    For the best place to come and to get

    Good friends and Great stories

    An escape from your worries

    At scottsigler.com you’re all set!

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    My second run through for Infected

    had some nuances that weren’t first detected

    While equally gory

    Perry’s back story

    was more tragic than I had expected

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    One must fear the Passenger Virus

    its enough to make a jaded man pious

    It will Repair

    cuts, shots, and tears,

    but the cost, too much for any, no bias!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    There once was an agent named Dew

    who didn’t know quite what to do

    His job was insane

    when he tried to restrain

    the success of those triangles blue

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    On slightly more sensible note

    I think it’s about time I wrote

    some lyrics related

    to the podcasts I’ve rated

    and some great books I’d like to promote

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Meg Marshall

    Apathy sure is a curse
    I could feel your pain, even in verse
    For me, too, it seems
    That the fault’s in my genes
    But Scott’s podcasts are making it worse.

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Than would be a silly fight

    bringing a knife to a gun fight

    I’m like Quick Draw McGraw

    You’ll have huge hole in you maw

    Then to boot hill you’ll go

    Alas, UnknowVariable was to slow

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    You keep on going

    But my brain is a slowin’

    This is more then normal use

    I think a blew a fuse!

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Perhaps fencing is your arena?

    Even there I think I’d cream ya

    Riposte, en guard

    Slash, you’re scarred,

    Done before you can flee-a

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    I don’t think my head should worry,

    Because Gramps I’m not in a hurry,

    you barely keep pace

    best should save face

    In light of my power and fury

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    To the poet I concede

    Spell check I do need

    But a wordsmith Im not

    you silly little snot!

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    On a pike or a poll

    your head on it will go

    your body left broken and bleeding

    “Oh my poor boy” your mother I hear pleading

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    I think the word you need is “Were”

    “Where” just is not quite right for

    the question is

    in the racing biz,

    should bad vocab count for more (CH’s) ?

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Ugly and Crass cries the dear Lass

    Hey Rocky watch me pull a variable out of my ass

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    When the plaid tanks roll on through,

    Hope, left standing, I will be one of few.

    But I’m afraid Jay,

    nothing left to say,

    squished between treads shall be you.

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Warned where you not

    My rhymes are not hot

    But the crack keeps coming

    My brain is now humming

    Theres sparks and Smoke

    This is no joke!

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Tongue out

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    But you see Quality is also quite needed,

    Speed, important though, can be conceeded.

    For you see victory,

    comes from quality

    before true greatness can truly be greeted.

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Love thy self!

    And No one else

    Cause when the tanks roll

    You will bow low

    And beg of me

    Ill not hear you plea

    I will kill all with Glee

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Now I’m not saying my every rhyme is gold

    but yours would be best left to mold

    so very basic

    make me quite sick

    even reading them now, it’s getting old.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Like Big john and Athanas,

    We go down the path before us,

    A fight to the end

    sorry to offend,

    but this might get ugly and crass.

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    The trick is to be quick

    With word and Wit

    A Variable I will change

    I see you now, Is that mange??

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Hickery Dickery Dock

    This poet has picked his lock

    As this all comes out

    From a crack pile I will shout

    For a Pusher I am

    For Sigler the man!

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Know why they call me the Variable?

    Is it because I am forever untouchable?

    That I’ll never be known?

    be it and “X” “Y” “T” or “O”

    To stop me, well that’s just impossible.

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Ive never been a poet

    And Im willing to show it

    Its a to be a pusher I desire
    I will drive my count higher

    And UnkownVariable will go into the fire!

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Oh sir I’m afraid youre mistaken

    Behind me I see you are quakin,

    you made your mistake

    in Taking my bait

    In sigli’ricks History I’m makin

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    I see my challenge has been met
    you haven’t seen anything yet
    If this is to be a race
    youll have to pick up you pace
    Other wise its my ass in you face

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    A sprint, a Marathon, don’t matter,

    At racing I deserve all the flatter,

    the line I shal cross

    Without any such loss

    This run is over no need for patter.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Pusher is a status of honor

    A state most can’t even ponder!

    Soon will be mine

    in almost no time

    Of nothing can I recall being fonder.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    You know you’ve made a place,

    When you’re challenged to a race!

    So come with me

    And you will see

    If Jayguana Can even keep pace!

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Junkie ball is a of talent and skill

    like volleyball it is with the need to kill!

    Full Contact is common,

    hard hits to the abdom-en,

    to spike, a spiked ball is a thrill!

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Four stops in the SF Bay Area

    The pubs had better bewarea

    San Francisco, it’s true

    And Mountain View too

    Followed by San Mateo and Corte Maderea

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I too am somewhat apathetic

    except when being poetic

    and I know that it’s bad

    but I blame my dad

    I’m sure it’s his fault and genetic

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Meg Marshall

    My workload is totally crazy
    I type ’til my eyesight grows hazy
    So I dodge work a lot
    And I know I blamed Scott
    But the truth is, I’m just really lazy.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Boston, NYC, I just don’t know

    where should I meet the FDO?

    Both about same

    distance to tame

    A Junkie’s loyalty I intend to show.

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I think that sums it up for most of us here

    __________________________

    Pusher, Poet and Pet Protector

    Avatar of Meg Marshall

    When I met Scott Sigler at Swancon
    He told me his podcasts were great fun
    So I signed up online
    Found his stories sublime
    And now I get no f*cking work done.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Call them boobies or tatas or tits
    Fun bags, knockers, breasts, mammaries, nips,
    There’s no need to attack
    We’re admiring your rack
    Can you blame us for licking our lips?

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Lately this duty I’m shirking

    Content to just hang around lurking

    These fine lyrical bits

    Are like poetic tits

    I should fondle instead of working

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of BigJohn

    (nice limerick! I also just wrote a limerick for my friend’s birthday card!)

    In the soon-to-come future we’ll visit

    With an odd hungry critter – the grzzzzt

    He’ll do all of your chores

    For a beer or two more

    It’s the League of Planet’s roomba, or is it?

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    If you don’t know much about saviour

    don’t worry we already forgave ya

    he’ll stay up all night

    to give monsters a fright

    That explains this old man’s strange behaviour

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Everyone’s favorite pooch Emma

    plucks our heartstrings and sets them a tremor

    now Robin is missed

    This pointer is pissed

    and nocturnals are her new anathema

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    In order to get to 3 k

    there can surely be no other way

    than with lyrical style

    for a poetryphile

    to upgrade to a “Pusher” today!

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I’m sorry, but I must confess

    Explain this obsession with breasts

    How can men rule the world

    If all that’s unfurled

    in their minds are women undressed

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    If there’s one thing that you and I’ve learned,

    It’s how poets like us have discerned

    That the topic at hand

    Is both wondrous and grand:

    Them boobies are what we’ve all yearned.

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I know I should find it embarrassin’

    but I like your lyrical/mammary comparison

    now I’ve fucked myself

    as there lacks a wealth

    of rhymes except Harrison or Saracen

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I noticed the thread for Haiku

    has just had a posting or two

    So I thought before bed

    that it ought to be said

    That siglimericks need boosting too!

    (I know that rhyming two with too is lame….. but if you don’t like the rhyme, then replace with the line “I couldn’t care less so fuck you!”)

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    With the FDO of in Australia

    There was worry of a book launch’s failure

    but don’t show your concern

    or you might just learn

    Without faith the Dark Lord will impale ya

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Last night with my computer back

    I think that I OD’d on crack

    With rhyming super powers

    sleepless 24 hours

    My “pusher” campaign’s back on track!

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Wink

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    If you’re interesed in the birth of the kid gloves, it goes back to Crack Hits, way back in the archives:

    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/1110?page=26 (look for the “+goddammit” comment, and it spills onto page 27.

    Of course, that’s the busiest thread, so if you look for it and don’t find it on those pages, check a page or so later. The date of the first post is Feb. 16th

    Hmm…maybe this should all be consolidated into one place. It really was quite comprehensive.

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    When a value was placed on The Starter

    Scott forgot to say he’d accept barter

    So if it will suffice

    I’ll offer self sacrifice

    For the cause I’d be willingly martyred

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Muchous respect for keeping the poetry alive. It seemed though that the sparring partners put aside their quarrel and found a common cause in spanking the sistren

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    16 hundred GMT came and passed

    and the sigler dot com server crashed

    but with much persevering

    the junkies were cheering

    When they ordered The Starter at last!

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    The Tier One Season is here

    Let’s all give a big cheer

    I ordered my book

    And can’t wait to take a look

    As the other teams all runs in fear

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Success! you know it is sweet,
    So Great I’ll facebook and tweet,
    Preordered the Starter
    from my paypal cart..er
    now I feel great, I feel 1337.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    There was a lot of Siglimericking and Haiku-ing going on there for awhile! BigJohn and Athanas started a separate thread because they were overpowering the original thread with their personal flame war… it’s quite entertaining really!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Nine pacific, Noon eastern is the time

    We’re all jonesin’ here, waiting in line

    To buy Sigler’s next book

    We can’t wait to take a look

    I hope your numbers not lower than mine!

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    On this Sigler ascension day

    The faithful can kneel down and pray

    That the Dark Overlord

    and devout junkie horde

    Will have world domination by May

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    A month’s absence has left me amazed

    that your efforts whilst worthy of praise

    have been seriously lacking

    it appears you’ve been slacking

    with no posts for 4 weeks and 4 days

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    When will I have my Sigler Death?

    my name to die at his behest?

    A gruesome way to go,

    Is all I ask FDO!

    Perhaps a bullet or knife in the chest?

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Kissyman has a sidekick named lefty

    who with his muscles make him quite hefty,

    what may cause an alarm

    is his lack of a right arm.

    to attack Kissy makes him quite testy.

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    It is an excellent rhyme!

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    I don’t really dislike figure skating… I just couldn’t resist using ‘toepick’ and ‘entropic’ though.. :-)

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    When I see the men spin on their toepick

    The channel I want to turn so quick

    To wittness this sport

    I’d rather resort

    To a shot from a rifle entropic

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Little Chelsea knows she deserves your respect,

    But Perry found this to be incorrect.

    Fear was her tool,

    She wasn’t a fool,

    Still Perry was able to dissect.

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I thought our previous output prolific

    And though some were quite truly horrific,

    There’s a handful that were

    Quite remarkably pure

    And I thought they turned out terrific!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Sorry Rohi, Athanas, and John its true

    in siglimericks against me take a cue.

    Take some advice,

    don’t roll the dice,

    you guys should best stick with haiku!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    It seems that without my attention

    This thread’s seen new poets’ ascension

    Though my computer’s not fixed

    I still need some crack hits

    So I’ll add to this poetic tension

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    If this fight’s more than Athanas and Big john

    Then for me to miss out would be wrong

    If you guys let me play

    There’s just one thing to say

    “Comeon pussies! LET’S GET IT ON!”

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    I saw this fight and I chuckled,

    Like two dachsunds you battle and knuckle.

    Your rhymes though good,

    Won’t stand in this hood

    in Siglimmericks against me you will buckle.

    you see,

    On one thing you guys are not a countin,

    Is that the Variable is strong like a mountain.

    Goin down you both are,

    ‘Cause neither on par,

    With these linguistic skill I’m a toutin.

    Avatar of athanas

    This is not a fight but a war

    One you will wish for no more

    Battered and bruised

    For you will soon lose

    And be left unconscious on the floor

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    This can’t really be called a good fight,

    As you fall, overwhelmed by my might.

    Your effort’s in vain

    Get ready for pain

    Lights out, athanas – say good night.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    The time is prime for a fightin’
    With those who are so easily frightened

    A noob turns a trick,

    But can’t take a lick,

    When bested by Athanas’ writin’.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The recent new Junkie, BigJohn

    While getting his crack craving on

    Ran afoul of athanas

    Who scoffed at his progress

    But still feels the pressure is on.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Kissyman is quite a strange assassin

    when he kills you’ll see him laughin’

    at the end of his hits

    he kisses their lips

    whether he shoots’em or stabs them.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Looking through my copy of The Rookie,

    The attention to detail’s quite spooky.

    Now the next thing to crave

    About which I will rave:

    A pictorial rendering of Pookie.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Welcome to the P.U.V. Keeling

    whose exterior is really quite chilling,

    20 percent no more

    that you’ll live through your tour

    to be a crewman is not the best feeling.

    OR

    Welcome to the P.U.V. Keeling

    whose exterior is really quite chilling,

    Known as the crypt,

    you will die on this ship

    to be a crewman is not the best feeling.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    You see the thing about Yasoud,
    which some people might find quite crude,
    Is that he bet on games,
    of GFL fame
    other than that he’s quite cool.

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    I like it. :)

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Perry’s best buddy Bill Miller

    plays an unpleasant role in this thriller

    No bout a doubt it

    he lands in deep shit

    when his friend in the end is a killer

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    ISB or Insignificant Blood Splatter

    enjoyed all the lyrical patter

    The web page was primed

    for the junkies that rhymed

    and thought that this forum thread mattered

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    So I think that I’ve made it quite clear

    that I may have had just too much beer

    But there’s no mistaking

    the point that I’m making

    Is that all monsters should be revered!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Now I’m thinking the Quyth

    take the title “best race” forthwith

    carapace of chitin

    and mandibles for bitin’

    Their ferocity’s more than just myth

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    I changed my mind I love the sklorno

    The reason why I’m sure you’ll all know

    With my dirty mind

    there’s no better rhyme

    than a word that compliments porno!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The race we all love’s the hurrah

    though they are a little bizarre

    They make great physicians

    for sporting positions

    They’re the galaxy’s medical star!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The best alien race is the Ki

    with their vision three sixty degrees

    Their unique design

    makes a great defensive line

    I’m sure that you will all agree

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Are da bomb! Keep ‘em up, junkies. Cool

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    There’s nobody messes with Brian

    when he gets pissed off badguys start dyin’

    His psychotic behaviour

    is ideal for the Saviour

    There’s no shame in the pain he’s supplyin’

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The copper they called Wie Chi Yen

    had the attitude of most small men

    But he came to support

    when BMB made the report

    to aid the illegal raid of his friend

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The infamous mob boss Frank Lanza

    was hard to fit into a 5 line stanza

    His gang war with Dmitri

    was settled out at sea

    when it ended in a gunfire bonanza

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The inventor they called Angus Kool

    invented Earthcore’s mining tools.

    With his gizmos and gadgets

    he was in for some bad shit

    by exploring the caves like a fool

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    When you enter and exit punch space

    your guts are a bit out of place

    To avoid getting sick

    get some beer down you quick

    It ain’t so bad when you’re out of your face!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    Krakens Linebacker John Tweedy

    had a childhood that left him quite needy.

    Family dysfunction

    left him no compunction

    to stop his bro being so speedy!

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    There once was a girl named Chelsea

    Who had a friend name Chauncy,

    she gave people kisses

    then made them her bitches,

    then she was blown up by a nuke-y.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    The savior is a hero to be sure

    against marie’s children he wars

    with arrow and bow

    the beasts he laid low,

    to them he is the devil of lore.

    Avatar of Rick Renaud

    There once was a girl named Robin

    The Ninja and she had a problem

    She stayed home one day

    Rex showed up to play

    No more Robin-Bo-Bobbin

    Transfered Michigander

    Avatar of Bob Laramee
    there once was a man named perry
    some people thought him quite scary
    he then met fatty patty
    and the triangles made her go splatty
    the situation got quite hairy
    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Molly McButter was a cow

    though even steak she is not now

    to shreds she was cut

    from her head to her gut

    and on her flesh mcbutter Jr. did chow.

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    cheeky I know but I will get some more Siglyrics on the Siglimerics board tomorrow when I get in from work and get absolutely twatted cos I got a 3 day weekend due me!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    As long as your first is not your last … I need help keeping the thread aliveLaughing

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I wish I could write limericks like John, Rohi or UV.

    Lyrical geniuses that make it look so easy.

    With no talent at all,

    I’m dropping the ball.

    And I call myself a Siglimerick junkie?

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Beth_Ailis

    keep up the drunken poetry guys (and gals).

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    an A for effort!! Wink

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    In Honor of receiving my copy of the Rookie in the mail today; a very bad limerick…

    I just got My volume of “the Rookie”

    2085 was the number of my copy,

    I am so excited

    and simply delighted

    Go Krakens! FDO you rock…y

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    With a name like mopook thesneaky

    This Quyth is a little bit cheeky

    By blackmailing Pine

    this game fixing crime

    resulted in the kraken’s losing streaky

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    That Magnus was a real tough guy

    who would stick something sharp in his thigh

    The answers he needed

    always came when he bleeded

    But fighting McButter he’d die!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The author that we know as Scott

    writes books that we like quite a lot.

    Events unexpected

    our attention’s directed

    to the knife that he twists in the plot

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    should really be on this thread… I hope that some of the topics below haven’t ruined any plot surprises for anyone… if they have I’m sorry

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    To work for the company Earthcore

    you must be a corporate whore

    But the company’s demands

    to dig up the lands

    will surprise your demise with much gore!

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The fraudulent Psychic Biznas

    Thought the ninja was a bit of an ass

    With his vocoder voice

    his vocabulary choice

    could only be described as quite crass

    fuckity fuckity shit dicker pricker (cos no Biznass comment can go without it)

    Avatar of ogreoregon

    My favorite Dude is called Pookie

    And some think he’s a little bit spooky

    He has mastered a technique

    That would drive Kinsey to drink

    I love it when he gets Hula Hoopy!

    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    There once was a nocturnal named Tard,

    who found simply speaking quite hard,

    yet he cut couples’ hands,

    looped them on a band,

    but now he is stuffed in the yard.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Earthcore is a Corporation

    who went to mine platinum formations.

    Instead creatures they found,

    and miners were downed,

    by sharp Rocktopian creations

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    There was a mean quyth named Virak

    Whose position played was a lineback

    His lateral motion

    Would cause a commotion

    For the quarterback that he would sack!

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I love it!!!! Thanks!!! Kiss

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    There once was a mountain of platinum,

    EarthCore used high-tech tools (yeah, they’d patent them)

    Connell Kirkland was wary

    Of rocktopi scary

    Rather than let loose the monsters, he’d flatten ‘em.

    Sealed

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Siglimerick poet RohiPnol

    Makes crafting Siglimericks look simple.

    With a flash of his fingers

    While his drunk ass buzz lingers

    He makes Sigler-y rhymes that will grip y’all.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    There was an agent named Dew,

    With whom one did not screw.

    in the leg he shot Perry,

    and he would have killed Chelsea,

    If they hadn’t blown him up with a nuke.

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    sorry drunken poetry evenings could become habit forming and seriously effect your ability to get up in the morning

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    There once was a junkie named Dave

    who knew just not how to behave

    His poems got sicker

    and his postings much quicker

    you could only conclude he’s depraved

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    A fat fucking slob named Marie

    Had a habit you would not want to see

    If you were the right gender

    She’d fluff up your member

    Then drain you and eat your brains for tea

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The running back Mitchell Fayed

    Took a hit that twisted his head

    with the force of a truck

    He was totally fucked

    and was wheeled of the field quite dead

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    the mobster named greedok the splithead

    If he ordered it then you would be dead

    One night on MCoVee

    While watching tier 3

    signed Quentin for 10million creds

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    “The ninja” they called Brian Clauser

    Cos he wore a black shirt and black trousers

    He could kill you too easy

    Cos his genes were an X Zee

    He wiped out pests like chemical delouser

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    These rhymes are much harder than the haikus

    to figure out just which words I should use

    I wish I’d considered

    My vocabulary’s biggered

    When I hadn’t drunk quite so much strong booze

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    If your love truncheon grows blue triangles

    And its tentacles get too entangled

    take your kitchen shears

    don’t give in to your fears

    and cut right off anything that dangles

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    With a Quarterback like Donald Pine

    The Krakens should win games just fine

    with his shit eating grins

    and 2 GFL wins

    They should be in Tier 1 all the time

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    The junkie they called Belladonna

    posted whenever she’d wanna

    But we knew with our leader

    She would end as a bleeder

    and most definitely would be a gonner!

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    than the Haiku’s!!!!

    Keep ‘em coming!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    At the suggestion of other junkies, a new thread for sigler-based limericks or Siglimericks.

    These are carry-over from the Sigler Haiku thread:

    There once was an author named Sigler,

    whose stories were too good to figure.

    his podcasts are a trip,

    from Ancestor to Crypt,

    Like crack his stories deliver.

    There was a QB named Barnes,

    who caused other teams alarm.

    In tier two ball,

    he gave it his all,

    now in tier 1 the Krakens will charm.

    There once was a man named Perry,

    who ev’ryone found most scary.

    he was infected,

    His body he dissected.

    Of chick’n scissors we are now quite weary.

    There is a detective named Pookie,

    Who was cheerful like a monster named cookie.

    With a last name like Chang,

    and his prevelance to bang,

    he uses a hoolahoop to get his nookie.

    The Ancestor is a great Monster,

    To whom the bravest of men would faulter.

    With black and white hide,

    and claws sharp as knives,

    It’s more than a beast: it’s a mauler.

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