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Pantheon of Siglerism

  • Avatar of

    The Pantheon of Siglerism: This contains a running list all the elements of the mythos that is Sigler. I’ll list what I have, you guys tell me if I’m missing anything.

    The Evil (which is good) The Good (which is bad)
    • General Siglerisimo
    • Pope Siglericus XXX
    • Jamingus the Butler
    • The Evil Queen™
    • The Evil Heiney™
    • The Eyebrow of Døøm™
    • The Lair of Døøm™
    • Plaid tanks
    • City halls replaced by giant buildings that look like Scott’s ego-inflated bald head
    • Sigler Ascension Day – April 1st
    • Masta Pimp Pulsar: High Priest of Series of Tubes
    • Masta Pimp Capizzi: The Mullah of Design
    • Masta Pimp Arioch: The Minister of Audio Edits, aka A-Rock aka The Producer of Døøm™
    • Masta Pimp Gmork: Siglerpedia Czar
    • Masta Pimp MsInformation: Diva of Design
    • The Official Voice of Doom: Ranger Bob
    • Soupbone the Wonder Pimp (FDO™’s cousin)
    • Francis Donovan Olivieri (FDO™’s other cousin)
    • Tha Shiv (my editor)
    • The Director of Døøm™ aka The Bitch™ (my partner AlphaGirl)
    • Minister of the Holy Collection Plate (my agent)
    • Junkies
    • Pushers
    • SMOD™= Secret Mission of Death
    • The Three Amigos of Domination: Putin, Chazvez and KimJong Il
    • The Crack Pack (people who helped the FDO™ on his way) including:
      Robbie: Mister I.T.
      MaeBreakall: voice of the first Sigler FanCast.
    • The Secret Agents (experts who help the FDO™ make sure his books are full of accurate awesomeness):
      Joe Albietz
      Scott Christian
      Jeremy Ellis
      Chris Grall
      Bob Gilliland
      JP Harvey
      JC Hutchins
      Renee Jordan
      Tom Merritt
      Phil Plait
    • Julie Andrews, a.k.a. “The White Queen.”
    • J.C. Hutchinssssss
    • The Amish
    • Hummingbirds
    • Meth Pigeon (he will cut you, no lie.)
    • Baby Bird Bladder, Scott’s ROOKIE Tailgate Tour nemesis

    What am I missing?

    Avatar of Scott Breakall

    Don’t forget us Junkies!  And especially the ORIGINAL JUNKIES!!1

    Avatar of

    Adding it in now.

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I suggest you give them a section as well. It’s an honor to be killed by you, in whatever incarnation.

    Arioch — Podiobook pusher for the FDO –

    Avatar of Peter Braat

     Ultimate Science Visionary Of The Heavens™

    It is in the forums on the first pagw right at the bottom.

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Avatar of Peter Braat

     You’ve forgotten the most important one too

    FDO™

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Avatar of

    The USVOTH™ and the SHIT™ award. Got to get those in there.

    Avatar of ogreoregon

    Mr. Jam is the Man, does that fall under Junkies?*I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Avatar of Peter Braat

    the infamous SHIT award. Who can forget that. Certainly n8man can’t 

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Avatar of

    You all forgot about my home-slices: Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Il. However, since Putin has "stepped down" (that’s a fucking laugh if I ever heard one, Putsie will never give up the reins), I think it’s time to put Robert Mugabe in there. There’s nothing quite like killing the other party and completely making a travishamockery of democracy to make your wishes known.

    Avatar of Gmork

    Some of my favs:

    – Soupbone the Wonder Pimp

    – Techtard

    Avatar of

    Nice work, Gmork.

    Avatar of Gmork

    World domination just wouldn’t be the same without the pink boa Tongue out

    Avatar of Gmork

    Ok, I’m a big fuckin’ Silgerverse nerd….and I’m ok with that :D

    Here are a few more for the list:

    – Sigler Stank™ Infected Book Tour

    Link with the confirmed dates that the Stank occured:
    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/946

    – Overlord-ogram

    Who knew email was being trumped by Overlod-ograms…wonder of they come in the singing versions XD

    Here’s the link to when it first appears in FDO nomenclature:
    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/933

    –Sigler’s Laws

    I could only find the first law but I swear I remember at least two Laws.  Anyway, here is the lone Law I unearthed:

    "Any major holiday that falls on a Sunday negates that Sunday’s status as a "day," and therefore, the following day shall count for the inunterrupted string of "podcasts in a row."

    – SMOD™

    While no longer so secret, it still had us OJ’s guessing while it was.

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    the CRACK!!!

    anyone new coming on board is going to be like "what the fuck is that all about?!?"

    but it’s the whole reason why all of us junkies became so frakkin’ addicted in the first place.

    – hit Podiobooks.com for undiluted crack by our FDO! –

    Avatar of

    This will be discussed as well.

    Avatar of Wolf

    FutureDark Overlords Original Douchebags

    FDOODs

    Avatar of Wolf

    Since we all dwell there now, how about the Siglerverse?

    Avatar of josh tyge swambo

    what’s wrong with a bit of senseless violence to a lemming?

    they’re only going to walk off a cliff.

    Avatar of josh tyge swambo

    what’s wrong with a bit of senseless violence to a lemming?

    they’re only going to walk off a cliff.

    Avatar of

    I will have to add the Future Evil Girlfriend™, Zadi Diaz of the phenomenal online show EIPC-FU. I also have to add the official Evil Dancing Girl™, Marian from the Rocky Horror Picture Show live cast of Barely Legal. Anyone who was at Baycon 2008 with me will agree this choice shows great wisdom.

    Avatar of J.P.

    Did anyone already say it? No? Don’t forget that choirboy Hutchinsss…

    – Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt. (I have jerks like you for breakfast.)

    Avatar of ogreoregon

    We can’t forget the deepest fears that lurk in the mind of FDO and rule his choices…
    The Amish
    Duct tape
    Humming birds 
    These are the ones I remember,  are there other fears mentioned?
    *I’m Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    chicken scissors

    G-Man

    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    The Devil and the Mothman!

    Avatar of J.P.

    The term that started it all: “Earthcrack.”

    – Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt. (I have jerks like you for breakfast.)

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    Nine million terrorists in the world I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. – John McClane

    Avatar of ogreoregon

    New law for the Siglerverse.. " December 30 is rapidly approaching. Forever shall this day, December 30, 2008, be known as "Sig-Day." Junkies, it is time to begin preparing for your role in Sig-Day, the day we launch the glorious Sigler Ascension and conquer the New York Times Hardcover Fiction Bestseller List." quote FDO on the Contagious release.
    *Iam the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Avatar of Benjamin "The BenT One" Clifford

    the crypt winners, the exterminators, and the Minister of Flag Design, after you name the winner of that contest…

    By the way, Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Avatar of James Keeling

    You know, someday, I’ll come up there and take you away from it all…

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Avatar of Wolf

    Siglertude; the attitude of one bad-ass mofo! 

    ..No Bounce..

    …No Play…

    Avatar of J.P.

    having a “bad assitude.”

    – “I just did something involuntary. And messy.” – Sid

    Avatar of Vaney
    Avatar of

    Gmork has done some crazy mad work on the Siglerpedia. Many people have put in some kick-ass content, true dat, but Gmork is outta control on that thing. Therefore, Pope Siglericus officially declares Masta Pimp Gmork: Siglerpedia Czar

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    All Hail Masta Pimp Gmork, The Siglerpedia Czar!

    “[No matter where you go, there you are] – And Sigler knows exactly where there is! ”

    Avatar of Gmork

    …my parents, my loving spouse, my job for letting me access this site at work… oh, and God….wait…

    WTF!  The only friggin’ person this junkie should be thanking is the FDO!!  Thanks FDO…the shit you write is so awesome that I am compelled to wiki it.  Oh and Gmork likely the Czar title (notice Czar with a capital ‘C’, bitches).

    And in true Czardom fashion, I give you even more wiki-goodness.  Since this is the ‘Pantheon of Sigler’ thread, it only seemed appropriate to have a similar page in the wiki that would chronicle all the trademarked terms our fearless, heavy handed FDO breathes life into.

    Click here to view the goodness.

    _______________________________________________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of ogreoregon

    Mistress of the Wiki.. True dedication is well rewarded, look at all the stuff we would not remember, or even know in the first place, if it were not for our Gmork.
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Avatar of James Keeling

    Yes, I am unworthy and must be punished….

    punish me Mistriss Czar, Punish me.

    And please, when you punish me, promise me the hoola hoop.  

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Avatar of Barbara Jungbauer

    Stop reading my diary and posting my secret thoughts on the web!

    MOMMMMMM!  Jam is readying my diary and posting my secret thoughts on the web again!
    Secretary General, Evil League of Evil

    Avatar of Thomas Reed

    ouch, put that one back Jam….
    #2
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Avatar of James Keeling

    Synaptic Pathways….

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    My guess is that General Siglerisimo has submitted the winning design for production and will not reveal the winner until it has been produced full size so that all Junkies may bask in its resplendent glory!

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Well, maybe. Jam, Toast…..hmmmm

    And I remember you have a fetish for butter. So maybe you should…..

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I am often awed by you Wiki talents. I am a sixty watt bulb standing next to the sun…..

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I totally forgot you’d established this thread way back when. I kept looking at the MastaPimp page in the Siglerpedia and waiting for an email to see if you’d ratify my nomination of our sweet prickly butterfly. Doh! Fuckin’ tard boy here….

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Okay, maybe a demi-god. Aren’t pantheons reserved for deities? Like in Greek, Norse, and Roman mythology? Am I smoking too much crack? Fuck. Now I’ve got to go look it up.

     
    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I suppose we’re using definition #3; I was thinking of #5.

    Pan⋅the⋅on


    1. a domed circular temple at Rome, erected a.d. 120–124 by Hadrian, used as a church since a.d. 609.
    2. (lowercase) a public building containing tombs or memorials of the illustrious dead of a nation.
    3. (lowercase) the place of the heroes or idols of any group, individual, movement, party, etc., or the heroes or idols themselves: to earn a place in the pantheon of American literature.
    4. (lowercase) a temple dedicated to all the gods.
    5. (lowercase) the gods of a particular mythology considered collectively.

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Gmork

     I grant your 60 watt bulb the permission to orbit my aweomeness

    __________________________________________________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of J.P.

    great and mighty Czar Gmork (with a capital C!)

    – “I just did something involuntary. And messy.” – Sid

    Avatar of

    #1 – doubting the FDO™

    #2 – being conductive to electricity (which is related to #1)

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     I am humbled by you magnamity. I futzed with the MastaPimp page and got your awesomeness added to it. It’s pretty well done except for Paul/Pulsar needing a page. Don’t know if you feel up to that or if you want to let him write his own as the rest of us have. 

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Gmork

    If you check out the MastaPimp page it will link to a new page for pulsar

     ______________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of Barbara Jungbauer

    Sounds like Hutchinsssssssss to me.  Now I know what J.C. does when he’s not fucking with Sigler.
    Secretary General, Evil League of Evil

    Avatar of

    Adding to the Pantheon now.

    Avatar of Gmork

    I like the separate of the list into Bad and Good!

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of Bob Merrell

    ……..he ripped off your marketing tactics…….Jihad now!!!

    Avatar of Barbara Jungbauer

    I’m seeing Betsy Ross … with Chicken Scissors.
    *shudder*
    Secretary General, Evil League of Evil

    Avatar of Barbara Jungbauer

    Phil fucking Rossi!

    Secretary General, Evil League of Evil

    Avatar of Barbara Jungbauer

    Can I watch while you fry him, boss?  Huh Huh?  Can I? Please?

    Secretary General, Evil League of Evil

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     Can we take turns?

    “[No matter where you go, there you are] – And Sigler knows exactly where there is! ”

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    I do not see that on the list.

    G-Man

    Are that you singing???

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     When I first saw this I thought he was talking about JP, Pjotr and myself. Lucky, Ned and Dusty.

    “[No matter where you go, there you are] – And Sigler knows exactly where there is! ”

    Avatar of Vaney
    Avatar of nilling

    to all the appointed Masta Pimps (MP) may you serve the FDO well!

    http://www.scottsigler.com/wiki/index.php/Master_Pimp 

    ==============

    Option Number Four

    Avatar of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Avatar of nilling

     <snigger>

    ==============

    Option Number Four

    Avatar of Gmork

    You can read the details about the prestigious S.H.I.T. award in the Siglerpedia wiki by clicking here

     ________________________________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I suggested it back in July. Not sure if you decided that folks who found this page would already know about that or if you were having another TextTard moment….

     
    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     That’s awesome. I will do my humble best to help the FDO achieve global domination. btw, y’all don’t know what Option #4 is yet, do you?

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Adrian Collie

    Don’t know if they come under "The Good" or "The Bad", but you gotta have Ewoks. Every dark overlord has them and you don’t want to be seen by other D.O’s as a pussy.

    On the one hand they’re a very handy means of mobilising a mini FDO army of darkness, can get into small places (like cupboards, washing machines and lunch boxes) but on the other hand they’re cutesy.

    Of course their cutseyness can lull the "soon to be enslaved" majority into a sense of security, but then out come the mini chicken scissors!

    Avatar of James Keeling

    Thanks Gmork, always lookin’ after me…  You rock lovely lady!

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Avatar of James Keeling

    Congrats on the MP Dude!

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    Avatar of

    People will discover crack as they muck about on the site.

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    Are that you singing???

    Avatar of Wolf

    you have been a Main Character in a Sigler story. And I am so jealous!

    WOOF, WOOF

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    G-Man

    Are that you singing???

    Avatar of Mathis Wrenn

    Offical Creepy Fanboy…

    "I have much respect for Delhome’s douchbaggery"

    -Scott Sigler

    Avatar of Wolf

    our aim IS getting better!

    WOOF, WOOF

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     I suspect it was Lady Gmork

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Gmork

    Dude, 

    If I won the S.H.I.T award I would end each with post with "and oh, by the way… did you know I won the S.H.I.T. award?  Yeah, that’s right. I won it because I am the shit, bitches."

    Yup…every post would end that way!!!!

     _____________________________________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     and Pulsars adding the new badges.

    “[No matter where you go, there you are] – And Sigler knows exactly where there is! ”

    Avatar of Wolf

    we all already know he’s the S.H.I.T!

    WOOF, WOOF

    Avatar of Amos Rouell

    W00t! The only enemy of the FDO on the list I have any contact with would be the hummingbirds. I must formulate a plan…maybe put out feeders with saltwater instead of sugarwater…hmm yes yes… >=3 DIE BUZZING BASTARDS! The amish are next..MUWAHAHAHA

    B14i>35 0v3r BI_I773+5 B17

    Avatar of

    I’m telling you, they are commando hummingbirds in this park in San Fran. They lurk. When you come close, they go for your eyes.

    Avatar of Wolf

    take out Hutchinssssss, but I’ll need to stock up on toilet paper first. That’s a lot of shit, right there.

    WOOF, WOOF

    Avatar of Amos Rouell

    Then I’ll just have to bring out my BFS! Big Fucking Spatula! …maybe a tennis racket..hmm nah I got it!  habanero peppers in the bird feeders. indirect assult then hit them with the spatula when they’re suffering from extreme birdy heart burn!

    B14i>35 0/3r BI_I11375 B1+<I-I3Z!

    Avatar of nilling

     and that is why you are the wiki queen :)

    ==============

    Option Number Four

    Avatar of James Keeling

    And Gmork m’lady, you are most correct.  

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all around uberjunkie!

    Avatar of James Keeling

    The young ones need a place to be. A place to be introduced the the dark one’s ways… For those that are a bit young for the more mature fare I humbly offer for your consideration:

    The FJA – Future Junkies of America
    or
    The FJS – Future Junkies of Siglerica

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all around uberjunkie! 

    Avatar of Jordan Willis

    not the young ones like me who come for the violent stuff.

    G-Man

    Are that you singing???

    Avatar of J.P.

    at least you don’t come for the weird stuff. (I hear it’s better the second time.) You behave yourself, young man!

    – “I just did something involuntary. And messy.” – Sid

    Avatar of Gmork

    we do the weird stuff Tongue out

     ________________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of J.P.

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     the most famous weirdest junkie of alllll? Sorry coudnt help it! For some reason that kept running through my head.

    "Get off… the nuclear… warhead."

    Avatar of Gmork

    Yes, it’s Christmas but we’re singing Dr. Horrible songs here!!!Tongue out

     __________________________________

    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! ~ Hoban "Wash" Washbourne – Firefly

    Avatar of J.P.

    asks for Dr. Horrible by name now–he points at the “puueee” (computer) and says “horr-hay” (Horrible). That’s my boy! He likes to sing along with the Bad Horse Choir.

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all around uberjunkie! 

    Avatar of J.P.

    sweaty. And I’m blushing.

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of Wolf

    that when General Siglerisimo takes over the world, we’ll be the ‘normal’ ones!

    WOOF, WOOF

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     *hangs head* I just cant help myself sometimes.

    "Get off… the nuclear… warhead."

    Avatar of Pons Matal

     that is wierd…weird….were’d….Hehee

    "Get off… the nuclear… warhead."

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     You love butter, Jello, mud, and pudding. Any other weird stuff you’d like to share with the rest of us?

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     Sigler powers activate!

    ……or something.

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of J.P.

    There’s nothing weird about pudding. Back off of Gmork or I’ll have to turn Jam loose on you. And that won’t be pretty.

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of Vaney

    -’Jam’ and ‘pretty’ in the same sentence. Uh…well, sentences. Tongue out

    Avatar of Corbin Hilty

     is that a story of killer hummingbirds pecking out peoples eyes?

    SCOTT SIGLER’S remake of "THE BIRDS" 

    gothguy720.deviantart.com

    Avatar of J.P.

    Unintentional mixing of words that don’t belong together. I guess that’s what makes it funny! Like that time I had a luscious case of kidney stones…

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     One more thing Gmork likes to get freaky with. Although I imagine between Jell-O, pudding, mud, and jam, there are damn few flavours (homage to SQ) or consistencies that she wouldn’t be able to experience. Well, Gmork?

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of James Keeling

    I’m right here ya know…  I’m a sensative guy…   My psyche just took a big hit so I would like my fragile ego to be stroked a bit…

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all-around uberjunkie! 

    Avatar of Kristyna Simonson

    Innocent

    Avatar of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all-around uberjunkie! 

    Avatar of J.P.

    PRETTY BOY! Jam is a pretty boy! Jam is a pretty boy!…

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of Wolf

    Somebody shoot that parrot! 

    WOOF, WOOF

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     Dirty innuendo in the forum? You don’t say…..

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

      I prefer my humans a bit more, um, feminine. Can you handle stroking yourself?

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     We’ll never get them out.

    "They say it’s better the second time; they say you get to do the weird stuff."  -Captain Hammer

    Avatar of James Keeling

    I’m so pretty it hurts!  I’m so pretty wallflowers wilt in the glow of my prettiness! 

    You may think you’d rather be your ugly self, but you yearn to be pretty like me… 

    chicks dig pretty…

    And emo…..

    Believe me, I understand.  I know it must be so hard for them, all the crap they have to put up with from idiots just because of the plumbing hey were given.  But they know they’re better than that.  When it comes right down to it, they’re worth 10 idiotic men falling all over themselves trying to be the biggest cock on the block.   

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)

    S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all-around uberjunkie! 

    Avatar of Thomas Reed

    ya mean:

    People Eating Tasty Animals?

    lol#3
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Avatar of J.P.

    Gotta add “Gmorkian.”

    – “I’m risking my life, for people I don’t like, for reasons I don’t quite understand.” – Homer

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     …but yummy too!

    Thank you, George Hrab, for composing and performing the acoustic version of brainsbodyboth. Humorous yet poignant, and you gave me a theme song. I miss Ally <sigh>

    Avatar of Derek Sheldon

    I would say the chicken scissors are an “element of the mythos that is Sigler”.

    Avatar of Scott Mountjoy

    Hey Scott, I would like to throw in my resume for a position in your Dark Ascension. Position desired: Lieutenant General of the Rocktopi Army and Ambassador to the Mole People

    Qualifications:
    • 4 years of listening to your podcasts while deeply embedded in a dark, damp cave in Mid-America.
    • A willingness to sacrifice: I would have no problems sacrificing the lives of anyone I work with here in the caves to bolster the Rocktopi’s blood frenzy or to gain the alliance of the Mole People.
    • My last name sounds very close to Mt. Fitzyroy

    Special Considerations:
    • As Lt. General Mountjoy I will lead the Rocktopi to great victories and massive chaos. In preparation for my position I have already started training the Rocktopi found here in the caves of Missouri. The Rocktopi found here are intelligent and vicious.
    • We have already started communications with the Mole People but the talks have been somewhat strained. Per my orders the Rocktopi are killing 9 out of 10 Mole Men during the course of each of our discussions. I believe that this course of action will convince the Mole People to join your Dark Ascension, if for no other reason than to keep their race alive for a few more months.

    Thanks, MtJoy ‘The Original ‘Cave-Dwelling’ Junkie

    Avatar of Charles Baltierra

    A Propaganda Artist on staff to paint your ever larger Portraits and propaganda posters to spread the fear and awe!

    I nominate myself.Yell

    Avatar of James Eager
  • KISS, MC, etc people in the groupings – not neccessarily by name.
  • Logistics General – he who brings patches and other parts of the material neccessary for the Sigler Acension! That would be me. (An Army goes nowhere without the supplies it needs….)
  • Sergeant and Fire Team Leader, X-ray company, DOMREC.
Avatar of James Eager
  • The milllion tanks was no problem, got a great deal on combinations of US and Soviet tanks.
  • The problem is getting enough plaid paint for them.  Do you know that the major paint manufacters tell me they can not deliver "plaid" paint?
  • I am having to resort to painting them by hand.
  • Send me more junkies to use as a work force to get this painting job done my FDO.
  •   Thanks 
  • Sergeant and Fire Team Leader, X-ray company, DOMREC.
  • Avatar of Mark Wheeler

    A Supreme Painter of Tanks, i took an art class last semester…so i guess that make me quallified for the position! 

    "When i say your dumb name step forward and forsake all other before your new digital ruler…"

    Avatar of Wolf

                                      

     [flickr-photo:id=3383210176,size=m]

    Avatar of Joseph Cartwright

    _______________________________________________

    I AM not just junkie, I AM a pusher man & I AM Sadocks Tangent Brother.

    Avatar of James Eager
  • Is easy enough to get pre-applied to the tanks.  All those excess Desert Storm tanks came that way.
  • We need feedback from the FDO and the minister of flag design to give us the plaid pattern now.
  • Then we will put the x-ray company patch logo on the turrets. 
  • Sergeant and Fire Team Leader, X-ray company, DOMREC.  And now a pusher too!
  • Avatar of Kevin Mest

    Might want to make mention of that.

    Avatar of Pons Matal
    "Share the Pain!!" 
     

    "What the hell is happening? I blew up the building. Why? Because you made a phone call."

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    You’d best get him up there before he puts a hit out on you.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Not exactly sure what all her duties include, but I know what she does is important ;)

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Is missin’ crack. Unless I missed the crack. Which is entirely possible. Love this idea, by the way.

    "Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie." {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     Sorry, couldn’t resist the double entendre there. Everyone already knows I live in the gutter anyways ;) We have our own little colony down here.

    I suggested throwing the CRACK that we all love and NEED into the pantheon back in July 2008, but the FDO said it was "too basic." Le sigh.

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    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    I mean, the gutter is a very fun place.

    Too basic? Aw, man. That’s just awful.

    "Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie." {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     and we all get blind sided occasionally. 

    Hell, I’m as myopic as the next guy. The trick is realizing it and taking steps to counteract the effects.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Oh well I guess. I’ll just have to go crack crazy here to make up for it. :P

    "Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie." {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of J.P.

    when I first glanced at this post I saw “Top Fart Fairy.” What the hell’s the matter with me?

    __________________________________________

    MC, CA, UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     That is such a WIDE open question. I think ShadyGirl can answer it better than I ever could anyways, so I will defer to her on this one.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of

    I’m still trying to think of the new title. Sometimes even creative types struggle to find just the right set of words …

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     That one’s already taken Tongue out

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    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Simply must be added onto the Good (which is Bad) side.

    It inconvenienced the FDO throughout the ROOKIE Tailgate Tour and made him late for several of the stops. 

    Maybe it *is* a transplant from Meth Pigeon…….

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    [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3727549381,size=s]

    Avatar of James Keeling

    Baby Bird Bladder is an excellent addtion!  Rock on! 

    hhhmmm…  SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #4 in crack hits (Special?  Ain’t I just)  Multiple S.H.I.T. Award Recipient!  Double Dipper and Triple Threat!  All-around uberjunkie!

    Avatar of J.P.

    where is Meth Pigeon? Shouldn’t he be in the pantheon?

    __________________________________________

    MC, CA, UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    at least somewhere.  Maybe burreid in this thread that I’m too lazy to peruse.

    Avatar of Gmork

    Meth Pigeon definitely should be in this list! Damn bird

    Avatar of J.P.

    A damned dirty bird.

    __________________________________________

    MC, CA, UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother and

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    she knows how to motivate your ass.
    I’m sticking with Pop Tart Fairy, dammit!

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3311831734,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3164696453,size=s]

    Avatar of J.P.

    I love it.

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     Originality is the way to go.

    So neener!

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3311831734,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3164696453,size=s]

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    because A thinks A’s The Bitch… and that’s good enough for me. Laughing

     [flickr-photo:id=3902499832size=m]

    Avatar of J.P.

    stop your bitching.

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     And I’m beginning to wonder if Donna was possessed at DragonCon. All the pictures I’ve seen that people took of her from that event she has horrid red eye.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3311831734,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3164696453,size=s]

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     As far as being a bitch goes, I think all women have the capacity to be a bitch. Just as all men have the capacity to be an ass.

    And Pop Tart Fairy isn’t actually a diminutive. It’s simply a nickname. I don’t think you can actually have a diminutive for A. What’s shorter than one character? Although I must thank you for teaching me a new use of that word:

    diminutive |diˈminyətiv|

    adjective
    extremely or unusually small : a diminutive figure dressed in black.
    • (of a word, name, or suffix) implying smallness, either actual or imputed in token of affection, scorn, etc., (e.g., teeny, -let, -kins).

    noun
    a smaller or shorter thing, in particular
    • a diminutive word or suffix.
    a shortened form of a name, typically used informally : “Nick” is a diminutive of “Nicholas.”

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3311831734,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3164696453,size=s]

    Avatar of J.P.

    if you shouldn’t have a jersey that says “A Bitch” on the back… (rather than “The Bitch”. Kind of captures the best of both. Hmmmm.

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     ….work even better?

    Possibly even ‘ "A," The Bitch ‘ or ‘ The Bitch "A"

    Kind of like those last two, even if I did have to misuse quotation marks on them to get them to look right Wink

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3311831734,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3164696453,size=s]

    Avatar of J.P.

    I think that’s the proper English (vs. American) way. Either way, it looks cool. Hopefully we’ve given The Bitch some creative ideas…

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     I’ll DM her so she actually sees it. 

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3311831734,size=s][flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3164696453,size=s]

    Avatar of Gmork

    ha ha! The Baby Bird Bladder made it to the list :) Awesome updates

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    GirlCo: Quieter than ninja, faster than Sklorno, stronger than Ki, and more devious than the Quyth

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar
    1.  The Bitch is a done deal
    2. still need Pop Tart Fairy (this one just embarrasses him)
    3. Spam Assassin (I think they both like this one)

    and I feel like I’m forgetting one……(or I could just be fishing)

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    GirlCo: Quieter than ninja, faster than Sklorno, stronger than Ki, and more devious than the Quyth

    Avatar of J.P.

    Look at the company I’m in! I’m truly humbled!

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    J.C. Hutchinssssss is on the Good List and the Evil List. Does that just cancel him out? LOL!!

    [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Gmork

    Ha! That’s awesome!

    He’s like matter and anti-matter, like the two poles of a magnet!!  He both helps AND repels the FDO Tongue out

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Listened to the D0M 2009 Year in Review episode a couple days ago. Realized that I should double check to make sure her efforts on THE ROOKIE were annontated here. Figured you’d have her up here already, but also knew that you’re kind of a flake sometimes.

    So get on that. Donna is an absolute sweetheart when you treat her right, but I imagine you don’t want to cross her. I know *I* certainly wouldn’t want to be on her bad side. Tongue out

    No idea which category your infinite wisdom <snickers> will place her in.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    GirlCo: Quieter than ninja, faster than Sklorno, stronger than Ki, and more devious than the Quyth

    Avatar of

    MastaPimp MsInformation: Diva of Design has now been added to the Pantheon. 

    Good looking out, A-Rock. 

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     I know Pulsar is not going to be able to make it, but coming over from Germany would be above and beyond the call of duty.

    No idea about Kevin. I know very little about him.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    GirlCo: Quieter than ninja, faster than Sklorno, stronger than Ki, and more devious than the Quyth

    Avatar of Andrew Morton

    Shouldn’t the biggest, baddest, most awesome and most unholy second only to the FDO and his Archdeamons
    of awesomeness: the dear sweet OJ’s be added?

    Molly McButters is my Homeboy!

    Avatar of J.P.

    And you’ve about nailed a great definition! Only thing is, although your high view of the OJs is appreciated, we’re just one small segment of the greater evil mass that is the Junkies.

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    I second JP. Your sentiment is sweet, but too much. All junkies are rockin’! To put it mildly. ;)

    "Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie." {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

     There’s no need to be elitist. We already have our shiny blue badges, after all.

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    GirlCo: Quieter than ninja, faster than Sklorno, stronger than Ki, and more devious than the Quyth

    Avatar of J.P.

    we have those shiny blue badges. It distracts from my awesome mediocre looks! See how generous our FDO is!

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    GirlCo: Quieter than ninja, faster than Sklorno, stronger than Ki, and more devious than the Quyth

    Avatar of J.P.

    Oooo, shiny blue badges! Did you see them!? (Um, sorry, were you saying something?)

    __________________________________________

    MC; CA; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I just mentioned the Julie Andrews story to the Undead ScooPoo earlier this evening.

    I don’t recall how long ago that was, but I doubt half our Junkies know what the deal with that is. Gmork, is there a Siglerpedia entry on that whole incident? If not, would you mind whipping one up when you have some spare time?

    Please, Oh Almighty Omniscent Czar? Innocent

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of Gmork

    No, the Julie Andrews story is not chronicled in the wiki.

    Yes, I’d be happy to draw that up Laughing

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of Renee Jordan

    …when you could have used that time to work on The Starter or more Crypt stuff? Bad author, bad! No cookie for you!

    Oh wait, I see my name in there… disregard what I said before, good job! You may have a cookie. Smile

    (picture of what a “cookie” may look like)

    **UNdead / GirlCo: All we wanna do is eat your brains. We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s going to eat your eyes.**

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    You *do* know that most of this list is from a couple years ago, right?

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of J.P.

    just how puny the “Good” list is? Flat out puny. Small.

    __________________________________________
    MC; CA; Member of the Wolf Pack; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    The most heinous attempt on our FDO’s life by none other than the White Queen was never recorded in the annuals of the Wiki? Thank you wonderful Wiki Czar for adding it to the records! You RAWK!!

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m] KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the “Iron Man” Award. Pusher twice over.

    UNdead Advisor to the King Of UNdead for Sigler.

    Avatar of Renee Jordan

    the “Good” list is actually the “Bad” list, and there just aren’t too many people (or birds) out there with the stones to oppose the FDO.

    **UNdead / GirlCo: All we wanna do is eat your brains. We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s going to eat your eyes.**

    Avatar of Renee Jordan

    …no, I didn’t know that. I just noticed the date on the original post, July 17, 2008.

    It seems that my smartassery has backfired on me. Ok fine then, cookies for everyone!

    /oh snap! i got told! :)

    **UNdead / GirlCo: All we wanna do is eat your brains. We’re not unreasonable, I mean, no one’s going to eat your eyes.**

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/1110#comment-79441

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    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of Joseph Cartwright

    _______________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3725895360,size=m]

    Avatar of Beth_Ailis

    Those look yummy! Thanks!

    Avatar of Joseph Cartwright

    nom-nom-nom

    _______________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3725895360,size=m]

    Avatar of Dave Johnson

    towards the top left. It looks crunchy golden around the edges and soft in the middle and you can tell it’s still warm coz the choccie chip still looks melty…It’s not fair I’m soo hungry

    feed us feed us feed us now … we hungry!

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I gotz us nommy cookies from ze lovely Zombie Queenz.

    nom nom nom

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    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of athanas

    because Good…is dumb.

    ____________________________________________

    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Joseph Cartwright

    you can’t just eat one.

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    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3725895360,size=m]

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Same difference. ;P

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Joseph Cartwright

    _______________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3725895360,size=m]

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    …the Denizens of Døøm. They might be a bit redundant though.

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    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Maybe you need a “relatives” section Tongue out

    ________________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]

    A life vacant of laughter is not worth exerting the effort it takes to live it.

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    ________________________________________________

    Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent Victim of GirlCo [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s]

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

  • Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]
  • Avatar of Gmork

    Looking back on my wiki to-do list, I found two requests from this thread:
    1) wiki entry on the word Crack (since it was too general for the pantheon)
    2) wiki entry on Julie Andrews
    Happy to update that the entry for Crack is complete and amalgamates a bunch of other terms in it (such as junkie, pusher, fix, and EarthCrack). UPDATED: The Julie Andrews entry is now complete.
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Joseph Cartwright

    Perfection says it all.

    thanks for all the wonderful wikiness you provide us.

    _______________________________________________

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3725895360,size=m]

    Avatar of Randy Hinckley

    Shouldn’t it be Francis Dominic Olivieri, not Donovan, or am I wrong?

    Avatar of Bradley Henry

    Combat Cook

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I’m fairly sure I went back and listened to an episode before posting that, because I wasn’t sure.

    ___________________________________________________________

  • I can only make one person happy each day. Sorry, today’s not your day. Tomorrow’s not looking so good either.

  • Avatar of Byron Metz

    ……….JUNKIE 4 LIFE…..I’m MR. T’s brother from another mother, you can call me MR. M…..1st time Pusher…..NOCTURNAL (Rewrite) Byron Metz (as “Baldwin Metz,” medical examiner for San Francisco police)…..GO KRAKENS!…..and as always Have Nice Day…..

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