This topic contains 94 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Profile photo of The_Beer_Engineer The_Beer_Engineer 2 years, 3 months ago.

Junkie Cookin'

  • Profile photo of The_Beer_Engineer

    This takes a whole, but I’ve cooked it several times and it gets better every time.

    4-5 lb. Beef ribs (separated)
    2 bay leaves
    2 onions, sliced
    2 tbsp black peppercorns
    6 cloves garlic, smashed
    1/2 bunch each of fresh rosemary, thyme (whatever is handy)
    3 bottles of beer (Miller Lager?)
    SAUCE FOR RIBS:
    1 cup ketchup
    1 cup brown sugar
    5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
    1 tbsp dry mustard powder
    1 tsp Tabasco
    1 tbsp italian seasoning
    1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
    1 tbsp soy sauce
    2 tbsp maple syrup
    1/2 tbsp dried onion flakes
    1 tsp ground pepper

    Trim fat from ribs. Cut the ribs into 2 portions.
    Place onion slices on bottom of ovenproof dish (like a lasagna pan). Place ribs on top of onion slices and sprinkle remaining herbs and spices.
    Pour beer over the ribs and cover with foil. Marinate in refrigerator for at least 4 hours.
    Poke a few holes in the foil and place in oven preheated to 325 for 60 – 90 minutes.
    Mix all sauce ingredients in saucepan bring to a boil then remove from heat and allow to sit for two hours.
    Remove the ribs from the dish, reserving the liquid.
    Place ribs, bone side down, on the grill, directly over medium heat. Grill for 10 minutes or until browned, basting every few minutes with sauce and reserved liquid.
    Serve ribs with remaining sauce.

    Profile photo of athanas

    All Purpose Pig Sauce

    So far, I’ve used this as a ham glaze as well as a rib glaze, but I have a feeling that using this on most any sort of pig product will turn out positive.

    (increase batch as needed for size of pork related product)

    1 cup Root beer
    1/4 cup brown sugar
    1/4 cup ketchup
    1 healthy squeeze of mustard (a full squeeze once around the pan)
    Healthy shake of ginger

    Combine all ingredients in sauce pan. Bring to a boil. Once boiling, simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

    Very basic, but good lawd, this tastes good on pork.

    Profile photo of Belladonna420

    Chicken and Asparagus Skillet Supper

    4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (1 to 1¼ pounds)

    Salt and ground black pepper

    4 slices bacon, coarsely chopped

    1 14.5-ounce can chicken broth (or use 1½ cups broth & ¼ cup dry white wine)

    1 pound asparagus spears, trimmed

    2 yellow summer squash, halved crosswise and cut into ½-inch slices

    2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

    ½ teaspoon finely shredded (grated) lemon peel

    Lemon wedges

    1. In a large saucepan cook asparagus in boiling water for 3 minutes or until crisp-tender; drain. Immediately plunge asparagus in ice water to stop cooking, set aside.

    2. In a very large skillet cook bacon over medium heat until crisp. Remove from skillet with a slatted spoon and drain on paper towels. Drain all but 1 tablespoon drippings from the skillet.

    3. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Cook chicken in hot drippings over medium-high heat for 12 minutes or until brown, turning once. Remove chicken from skillet, keep warm.

    4. Add squash to skillet and cook 3 minutes. In a medium bowl whisk together broth, flour, and lemon peel. Add to skillet. Cook, stirring until thickened and bubbly. Add chicken and asparagus back to skillet. Cook 6 minutes more or until chicken is no longer pink (180°F) Sprinkle with bacon. Serve with lemon wedges.

    Makes 4 servings.

    PER SERVING: 264 Cal, 9g Fat (3g Sat. Fat), 103mg Chol, 889mg Sodium, 11g Carbs, 4g Fiber, 37g Protein.

    Profile photo of Belladonna420

    My BFF and I made a most excellent chicken and asparagus skillet last night for dinner. It was cooked with bacon and was STILL very healthy! As soon as I get the recipe from her, I will post it here.

    Profile photo of Byron Metz

    I like potatoes.

    Profile photo of Ricky Craig

    Some genuine Irish cookery for you. Potato bread. Sorry I don’t have exact measurements to hand but experimentation is part of the fun of life)

    Boil up some spuds

    Mash spuds with some butter

    Stir in an egg

    Mix in flour until you have a nice dough (this may take a lot of floor)

    Knead it very slightly to make sure it’s all stuck together

    Roll out thin (about 1/2cm to 1cm)

    Grill it on both sides until the top starts to darken.

    The best way to eat this is as part of an Ulster Fry (that means sausages, eggs, bacon, soda bread and potato bread). Either way, while you can toast it, or just butter it, it’s best fried up in bacon fat.

    Soda bread recipe later if I remember :)

    Profile photo of Byron Metz

    Top Ramen chicken flavored noodles.

    Profile photo of Regie Rigby

    Man – I am looking forward to trying some of these!

    My contribution, Greek Potatoes with Chicken. You will need:

    Some potatoes (two good sized ones per person. More if you’re feeling hungry.)

    1xChicken breast per person. (You can use thighs, they need longer cooking.)

    2 Lemons

    2-3 cloves of garlic

    Oregono – fresh is best but dried still works.

    Lashings of the best olive oil you can find.

    Peel the potatoes and slice thickly (about as wide as your pinkie finger.) Lay your slices into a wide shallow dish.

    Peel and roughly chop the garlic. Chop the oregono (if you’re using fresh.) Squeeze the lemons. Tip half the lemon juice and half the garlic over the potatoes. Liberally sprinkle on most of the Oregano. Pour water into the dish until the potatoes are just about covered. Add a generous glug of Olive Oil. Place the dish into a medium oven and forget about it for about two hours.

    MEANWHILE. Put your chicken in a dish. Add the rest of your garlic, oregono and lemon juice, and another good glug of olive oil. Mix it all up so that the chicken is well coated and put it in the fridge to marinade.

    After your two hours are up, take the dish of potatoes out of the oven. Tip in the chicken. Put it back in the oven for half an hour.

    After half an hour drain off any excess water. Put it back for another half an hour.

    After that, serve.

    You can also add tomatoes for the last hour, and you can use prok or lamb instead of chicken. Great when you have guests because although it takes ages to cook, for most of the time you don’t have to do anything.

    What have you done today to make you feel proud?

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    [flickr-photo:id=5069323983,size=m] “Lundy is my agent, Q! He’s the man. He’ll tear the tongue out of anyone who gets in your way.”

    Profile photo of Gmork

    I was thinking of doing just what you’re suggesting. Hopefully they come out palatable. We’ll see!

    Profile photo of athanas

    great weather, great friends, great food, great sport…hard to beat those days.
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    Profile photo of athanas

    this sounds awesome.
    I have now added torillas and blue cheese to my shopping list.
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    Profile photo of athanas

    just let them thaw, toss them with some sort of sauce (even just a bottle of BBQ sauce; either way, I suggest putting a layer of aluminum foil down in the pan first for easier clean-up when you’re done,) then bake in the oven like any other chicken.
    I’ve done this in the past when I was out of oil or didn’t have enough left to worry about wasting the oil.
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    But when you get those wangs sorted, send some my way! Wink

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo AND I’m [REDACTED]’s [REDACTED]!!!!!. * *

    Profile photo of Gmork

    I accidently bought a massive bag of chicken wings instead of a bag of chicken breasts. I didn’t notice they were chicken wings until I mangled the bag and dumped the whole thing into a cooking tray.

    While I love eating wings, I’ve never actually made them myself before. Does anyone have a good wing receipe? Preferably one that doesn’t include deep fat frying (cause Gmork + hot oil = 4 alarm fire).

    Profile photo of Michael DeRose

    For football season, I like to make buffalo chicken tacos. I just sort of “Wing it”, but basically cut up some chicken breast, add taco seasoning if you like. Cook. Then add half bottle to full bottle of red hot buffalo sauce. Mix and simmer for 5 mins or until sauce thickens (med to low heat) Then I put the buffalo chicken meat in a nice flour burrito tortilla. I add really good blue cheese dressing to it, along with cheese and a few jalapenos.

    darn…now im hungry.

    “Come follow me! Space Admiral DeRose. I am totally not a rogue pilot that commands the resistance’s naval forces.”

    Profile photo of Alex Miller

    12 inch chicken & Roast Beef on Italian W/ American Cheese as well as Southwest Chipotle Sauce

    Profile photo of Meg Marshall

    Thanks. :) We do something similar at rural football games, only it goes throughout the game because the cars/utes are all parked around the football oval.

    [flickr-photo:id=4730034487,size=m] ~S&N Bouncer and Official Hitwoman for the Gutter Sistren~ That Australian bitch with the stupid accent and all the subtlety of a splatterfart

    Profile photo of Meg Marshall

    Down here, it’s driving too close to the car in front of you. I’m assuming there isn’t a food designed to go with that.

    [flickr-photo:id=4730034487,size=m] ~S&N Bouncer and Official Hitwoman for the Gutter Sistren~ That Australian bitch with the stupid accent and all the subtlety of a splatterfart

    Profile photo of athanas

    It’s football season.
    What are some of your best tailgating novelties?
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    Or so my roommate says … Reminded me of this treat … Takes two to eat … And a lit fire pit … 2 big Mrs Field’s cookies, one king size Reese’s peanut butter cup, and a flaming hot Giant marshmallow.

    Profile photo of Kate Cheevers

    So going to try this. Sounds like heaven!

    The Pure Essence of Randomness, Captain of the Touchback, Two-Time Pusher and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Profile photo of Dave Fernandes

    2 lbs sliced bacon

    2 lb ground sausage meat (without casings)

    Buns

    Burger Garnish

    Weave together 1 pound of bacon .

    Cook the seond pound completely and slice into small pieces.

    Lay the weave out on a tray and spread the sausage meat over it evenly. Then, sprinkle the cooked bacon on top of the square meat pile.

    Roll this whole thing up like a jelly roll and cook in the oven at 300-350. You need to cook it all the way through without burning the delicious bacon shell. Slice this roll to desired thickness (this is where I melt cheese on the slices) and serve like normal burgers.

    Sit back and wait for your heart to stop.

    ——————– Villa Nandes Photo Blog

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    5o many things to try after the 6 week challenge :)
    [flickr-photo:id=5353037802,size=m] & Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Profile photo of Kate Cheevers

    Or has there been a relapse? Tongue out

    The Pure Essence of Randomness, Captain of the Touchback, Two-Time Pusher and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

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    I was kicked out of the Cub Scouts for eating a Brownie………………

    [flickr-photo:id=3383210176,size=m]
    Head Coach, Wabash Wolfpack

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    Husband of Susan, Friend of Junkies everywhere

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    1 large bag Rotini (corkscrew) pasta

    1 English cucumber

    1-2 tomatoes (whatever kind you prefer)

    1 very small red onion

    Sliced kalamata olives 1-2 cups

    Extra Olive oil

    Kraft Greek Feta and Oregano dressing

    Creamiest feta chees you can find (I use about 400g to 1 large bag of pasta)

    Dry oregano

    Crushed black pepper

    Prep

    Cook the pasta, drain and cool to room temperature or lower with cold water. Allow to drain completey in strainer, stirring occasionally to get ALL the excess water out. Coat with with a SMALL amount of olive oil to prevent sticking, place in container and store in fridge. Dice tomatoes, and onion. Cut cucumber in to 1/4 pieces, lengthwise. Use knife to shave out slimy seed part in the center. Chop those 1/4’s into small pieces. Mix cold pasta with chopped veg, olives, black pepper and coat lightly with the greek dressing.

    Serving

    The longer you store this mix in the fridge, the more moisture from the dressing will absorb into the pasta. If it seems to dry, mix in more dressing prior to serving. For presentation, top with crumbled feta and sprinkle oregano. If you’re making a trough of it for a BBQ like I do, just mix it all together.

    I’ve had to make this for every I’ve attended BBQ in the last 4 years. Green and red pepper are optional additions to the core recipe.

    Enjoy!

    ——————– Villa Nandes Photo Blog

    Profile photo of athanas

    Honestly, it’s not too bad at all. There’s just enough of a kick to take notice, but the flavor seems to overpower the heat.

    This, of course, is coming from ME, so I’m probably not the best person to consult on how hot this may be. ;-)
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    Profile photo of athanas

    tastes great on fajitas, too.
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    scottepond.com

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    That’s gonna burn going in and out.
    [flickr-photo:id=5069365035, size=m] [flickr-photo:id=4347154616] Pusher and member of the Gutter Sistren

    Profile photo of athanas

    so, I’ve found that this works on both pork, chicken, and am presently letting some pork and shrimp marinate in it for some fajitas tonight.

    1/2 cup of steak sauce
    3-count squeezing of sriracha pepper sauce
    liberal dashing of garlic powder
    liberal dashing of crushed red peppers
    2 to 3 finely diced chipotle peppers

    I’m digging the hell out of it and need to run it by a pretty hardcore foodie friend of mine to see what he thinks.

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    Profile photo of athanas

    this definitely goes on my list of things to trie as I too am a fan of worchestershestershire sauce AND anything pork related.
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    Profile photo of Meg Marshall

    I have a fave Worcestershire recipe I discovered by accident many years ago. I usually use pork chops/fillets, but it’s also good with pork ribs.

    Put pork in baking dish. Chop up onions and sprinkle over pork. Add liberal amounts of Worcestershire sauce, then drizzle honey over it. Cover with lid or aluminium foil and bake on a low-ish temperature (slow bake) for about an hour. Turn the oven temperature up a bit, uncover and bake for another 10 minutes on each side, to brown up the pork and caramelise the sauce.

    If you have a slow cooker, cook for 4-6 hours on low, then take it out and put it in hot oven for the last 20 minutes. I usually add sliced carrots as well as onions, but you don’t have to.
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    ~Official Honey Trap for the CBBC Aussie Posse; Proud Member of the Gutter Sistren~
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    Profile photo of athanas

    So, I stumbled across this last night completely by accident.

    Went to the store after work, not really all that interested in anything I had at home to eat for dinner. Hit the seafood section and found fresh catfish nuggets (love catfish but didn’t feel like broiling a fillet so I went with the raw, chunked version of said feline fish). Decided that stir frying this would be easy and quick.


    Got it home, did some magic and dear lord, I’ve found something I’m going to cook on a regular basis.

    So…

    Step 1: melt a tablespoon of butter or margarine in a wok.

    Step 2: after it’s thoroughly melted, lay catfish pieces in wok. Douse liberally w/ Worcestershire sauce. Top with a sprinkling of garlic powder.

    Step 3: let it cook for a few minutes, then flip, repeating the Worcestershire sauce and garlic steps.

    Step 4: after it’s nearly cooked on that side, add in crab meat (I used imitation as that’s what I had) and begin mixing both meats and sauce together.

    Step 5: cook for a few more minutes until catfish is done and crab is heated.

    Step 6: damn.

    Next time, I’m going to try putting this over rice. I was blown away with how well it turned out.

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    Profile photo of Renee Jordan

    Of course, there’s not too many things that mashed potatoes don’t go with.

    **Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? No seriously, I slept through grammar class, so I have no idea what you do.**

    Profile photo of Eric Parker

    I found a recipe for Blackened cajun chicken from allrecipes.com I want to try. Think these would go with the chicken?

    Profile photo of Renee Jordan

    I’m definitely gonna try this one the next time I buy a pork loin. Usually I do a Wellington with these, and I’m thinking that rolling your tenderloin in a sheet of puff pastry would turn out scrumptious! I bet a nice sweet red wine would pair well with this. Oh hey, another good use for pork tenderloin is to stir fry thin strips of it with some cole slaw mix and some bean sprouts, with a healthy splash of teryaki sauce. It makes for a really quick and easy Asian-style dish.

    **Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? No seriously, I slept through grammar class, so I have no idea what you do.**

    Profile photo of Pons Matal

    This recipe is courtesy of Anthony Epps AKA Beanchef on twitter.

    Find a nice good size pork tenderloin. I used a 4lb one.

    Get one red pepper and one green pepper

    approx 2 large bundles of fresh spinach (It sounds like a lot but is cooks down.)

    One container of fresh mushrooms, approx 1lb ( I used the Crimini’s that Anthony recommend, very good taste.)

    Depending on your liking of the above veggies, you can add more of or use less of, totally up to you.

    First trim of any excess fat. The next step is sort of tricky. You need a sharp knife and a cutting board. Lie the pork loin flat on a cutting board. Start a horizontal cut about a 1/2in up from the bottom of the tenderloin. As you cut, push back on the tenderloin making sure to keep at least 1/2in of meat below the cut. As you continue to cut and push the tenderloin it rolls out and when done you will have a 1/2 thick slab of meat on the board.

    Once you have that done:

    Take the peppers and scorch the outer skins using a hot flame. Flame from a gas stove burner or in my case I used a propane torch. Scorch the skin quickly until it becomes blackened and starts to bubble up. Set the peppers aside to cool.

    Once cool scrape the scorched outer skin off the peppers and cut them into sections. Be sure to remove the rib section of the peppers and dispose of them. Cut the remaining pepper pieces either into small strips or dice.

    Slice and wash the mushrooms.

    In a saute pan, add some butter and olive oil and bring to it to a temp suitable for sauteing. Add the mushrooms and peppers and cook for a bit ( I also added a little fresh minced garlic). When the mushrooms and peppers are well sauteed add the fresh spinach to the pan and cook until the spinach is nicely wilted.

    Put the contents in a strainer and allow any excess oil or butter to drip off.

    Now, take your sauteed mixture and put it on your slab of pork loin and spread evenly. Try to keep it back about and 1″ or so from the end you will be rolling it towards and also from the sides as the mixture will spead during the rolling. (I sprinkled the mixture with a little asiago & feta cheese before rolling).

    Once you roll the tenderloin back up use butchers twine to tie it closed spacing the ties about 2″ apart.

    Cook at 350 until the internal temp reaches approx 160degs.

    Let set for about 15min before slicing and serving.

    This recipe is quite labor intensive but is well worth the time and effort!

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the 2009 “Iron Man” Award.
    Funky Name Brotha, Gutter Brethren & Pusher Twice Over!

    Profile photo of Renee Jordan

    I made this tonight and I’m pretty sure that I saw god after eating it. That last part could have been the Psilocybin extract that I dropped into my eyeballs earlier, but the sauce was pretty damn good anyway. This dish has a bit of prep work, so give yourself about 30 minutes or so to chop up the veggies. Serves 2-3 if pasta is your entree, 4-6 if pasta is a side dish or part of a multi-course meal. Pairs well with a dry white wine.

    You will need:

    About 1 cup each finely chopped yellow squash, green (zucchini) squash, red or white onion, mushrooms (psychedelic or not, your choice), and fresh spinach.

    1/4 pint heavy cream

    14.5oz of fresh blood from an unbabtized child… or one can of whole, plain peeled tomatos, whichever you have on hand.

    4 – 6 slices of raw bacon, diced into small bits (optional for a completely meatless dish)

    Salt, Pepper, Red Pepper flakes

    In a large skillet or saucepan, sautee all the veggies and bacon together at medium heat until the squash and onion bits are nice and tender, about 10 minutes or so. While that’s going on, run your can of whole tomatos (undrained) through a food processor until it’s smooth. You can substitute fresh whole tomatos, but using canned is a bit less expensive. Once your veggies are tender, add the tomato goop & let the mixture come back up to a simmer. Add heavy cream until the sauce turns pink, but not too light (you’re not making a cream sauce here). Salt and pepper to taste, and if you want to add some zip to it, throw in some red pepper flakes. Let the sauce simmer on medium-low heat for 5 -10 minutes, stirring frequently until it has reduced down a bit and thickened and the flavors have blended. If it gets too tight, you can always add a bit of water to loosen it up.

    Serve over bowtie or spiral pasta with a spinach & strawberry salad (fresh spinach & sliced fresh strawberries) dressed with a balsamic vinaigrette with dijon mustard mixed in to taste (the mustard binds the vinigar and oil together to keep them from seperating easily).

    Trust me on this one my fellow Junkies, you do not want to pass up this magnificent dish.

    **Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? No seriously, I slept through grammar class, so I have no idea what you do.**

    Profile photo of Kate Cheevers

    Even my kid should want to eat these! I’ll have to give it a try and see how it goes over. Strangest little Irish girl…doesn’t eat potatoes… If anything can convert her maybe this will! (It’ll be the bacon!).

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    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

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    each bite is what I imagine an eternity of heaven to be like.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

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    Some day I’ll make it. Oh Oh! maybe I’ll bring one to Dragon*Con!

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    is there anything you can’t do? :)

    **Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? No seriously, I slept through grammar class, so I have no idea what you do.**

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    Laughing
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

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    you had me at “bacon”.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

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    until they took out the MSG. Now they taste icky Cry

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  • Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]
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4 servings. You’ll need:

2 average-sized baking potatos, or an equivalent amount of your favorite variety of potato. Peeled or unpeeled, your choice (I like to leave the peels on & just give them a good pre-cooking scrub with a veggie brush)

Ranch salad dressing

Buttermilk (Heavy Cream can be substituted here)

8 – 10 strips of cooked Bacon (I use the pre-cooked kind, just to make things easier)

Shredded or grated cheese (whatever kind of cheese you like. I prefer a cheddar / monterrey jack mix, though parmesean is really good too)

Bread crumbs

A big spoonfull of minced garlic

Salt & pepper

Attitude like you are the greatest thing to step inside a kitchen since Julia Child

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1) Cut your potatoes up (cubes or rounds, doesn’t matter). Also get your oven going on “bake” at 400F (that’s roughly 204C for those of you who insist on using that weird European system)

2) place the cut bits into a pot and add water until they are just covered. Place pot on medium high or high heat until it comes to a boil, allow bits to boil for 10 minutes or so, until they get soft.

3) While the potatos are boiling, put your cooked bacon strips into a food processor and hack them into little bits while maniacally screaming “How do you like that, pig? Not so much fun when the shoe’s on the other foot, is it? IS IT?!?!”

4) Once the potatoes have been boiled into submission, transfer them to a large mixing bowl. Taunting the potatoes at this time is optional, though recommended. Just don’t mention Dan Quayle, because they’re still pretty pissed off at his inability to properly spell their name.

5) This is where you add your Ranch Dressing and Buttermilk. You can go 50/50 on this or go heavy on the Ranch for bolder flavor. I don’t have measurements because I kinda do this part by eye, but start off with about 1/8th cup of both. Beat your potatoes into further submission like you’re the hand of an angry god with either a hand mixer or (if you want to go “old school” on their asses) a manual potato masher. Keep adding Ranch and Buttermilk until the desired consistancy is achieved*.

*NOTE: add your liquid ingredients in small amounts to avoid making the mixture too thin. Add a bit, mash until blended, then check the consistancy, repeat until it is your desired thickness.

6) Add your chopped and throughly intimidated bacon bits to the mix. They should be scared as all get-out by now, given what they’ve been through, so they should distribute themselves evenly though the mix without giving you any trouble. If they resist, just give the food processor a few pulses, thet’ll remind them who’s the boss. Oh yeah, throw that heap of minced garlic in now too. In addition to being tasty, it’ll let you know if there are any vampires attending your dinner party.

7) Salt and Pepper the mix to taste. i.e. add some salt & pepper, then freaking taste it to see if you need more or if you overdid it. If you need more, add it. If you overdid it, well, you’re screwed and will have to start all over, ya freaking imbicile. HAR!

8) Sorry, I seem to have been channeling Greg Crites for a sec there.

9) Transfer the mix into a casserole dish. Top with bread crumbs and cheese, enough to make a nice layer over the potato mix.

10) Place in your preheated oven while chanting “Cthulhu fh’tagn”. Bake for 10 minutes or until the cheese is melted and just starting to brown on top.

11) Remove from oven and immediately cram a heaping spoonful in your mouth*

*NOTE: If you are not fond of blisters in your mouth and on your tounge, let the potatoes cool for a few minutes before consuming, ya freaking wimp.**

**Damnit Crites, get outta my head!

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**Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? No seriously, I slept through grammar class, so I have no idea what you do.**

Profile photo of Renee Jordan

Interesting (as in “holy shit, that’s twisted!) reading here. Oddly enough (or maybe not) the technique described there is not all that different from butchering any other large mammal.

**Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? No seriously, I slept through grammar class, so I have no idea what you do.**

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Processed noodles and packets of powdered flavoring. Top Ramen baby!

In all seriousness though, chicken and wild rice casserole with swiss cheese. Its the best way to go. (Sorry for not providing a recipe at this time.)

“Love is fattening.”

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(1) Take a bowl out of the cupboard

(2) Fill with Spaghetti O’s

(3) Nuke until hot

(4) Serve to kids but warn them that it is hot and not to burn their mouths or they’ll get blue triangle sores all over

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you can bet the house that they will be. :)

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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Why do you want to eat poor widdle Girl Scouts?

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Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent Victim of GirlCo [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s]

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you make them right.

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Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

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cooking for junkies, or cooking junkies?

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Cherry Blossums (makes makes enough dough for 48 cookies, but but you can make half the amount and freeze the rest of the dough for another time))

  • All purpose flour -1 1/2 cups
  • cocoa -1/2 cup
  • baking powder -1/4 tsp
  • baking soda -1/2 tsp
  • butter -1/2 cup
  • sugar -1 cup
  • egg -1
  • vanilla -1 tsp
  • Maraschino cherries (drained, reserve the juice) -24
  • semi-sweet chocolate -12oz
  • Eagle brand condensed milk -1 can
  1. Cream the butter and sugar.
  2. Mix in the egg an vanilla.
  3. Add the dry ingredients. Mix well and scrape the bowl. Remove from the bowl and shape into two dozen little balls. Make an indent in each ball and add a cherry. Set aside.
  4. Melt the chocolate with the eagle brand and a pinch of salt. If it gets too thick, add the reserved cherry juice until the mixture reachs pouring consistency. Pour over each cherry to completely cover.
  5. Bake at 350 degrees farenheit for about 8 to 10 minutes.
  6. Cool on a baking sheet.

And looky at that; it’s not using the metric system!

  • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
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A lot of my grandmothers recipes are in metric for god knows what reason, she grew up in Minneapolis. And I’ve learned to convert my recipes to weight in both systems because even your low end scales cover both and for the best accuracy the metric system is easier and better. Good luck getting used to it, its worth it in baking!

Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum,

Jayguana

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Hehe, I just had to say it. Once I figure out how to convert all these weird foreign measurements into good old ‘Merican measurements like ounces and teaspoons, I’ll have to give this one a try. We don’t cotton to no pansy European measurements ’round these parts, ya know. :)

(yes yes, I realize the metric system is infinitely more logical than the measurements we use here in the US)

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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So glad you guys enjoyed them!

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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This shit is gold – you are a goddess!!

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I dont eat sweet potatoes but I make them for my wife and this was the best sweet potatoes she’s ever had! Thank you !

Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

Jayguana

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I can work with long pork! It will be just like BBQ!

Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

Jayguana

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First, a little warning; I went looking through my recipes and realized that I will have fix the measurements, due to the fact that the recipes I have are for mass production. Also, a majority of the measurements are written in grams, kilos, and ounces. So, here’s my best shot at reducing them.

Scones (originally makes around 70, reduced makes around 35, all depending on the size of cookie cutter you want to use)

  • Sugar -40g
  • unsalted butter -125g
  • bread flour -150g
  • pastry flour -150g
  • baking powder -15g
  • salt -3g (or just a pinch if you’re feeling non-specific :P)
  • eggs -1
  • milk -125g
  • Raisins(optional) -70g
  1. Preheat oven to around 210degrees celcius.Sift the flours and baking powder together.
  2. Mix the butter, sugar, and salt until creamed. Mixer. Egg beater works fine, but you’re gonna need an extra pair of hands.
  3. Add eggs slowly into the butter mixture. Trust me, you have to do this slowly, the eggs make the butter slimey until it’s fully mixed in.
  4. Alternatively add the milk and flour in the butter mixture. Add the raisins. Do not overmix.
  5. Roll out the dough to about 1/2 inch thick, and cut out with the cookie cutters.
  6. Brush on an egg wash (1 egg mixed with a bit of milk) and sprinkle over or dip them in sugar. Bake until they’re a nice golden brown.

I can’t give an exact amount of time they should bake because in school we were taught to go by eye. So when they turn a nice golden brown they should be ready.

…why do I get the feeling people are gonna bitch about the celsius thing?

  • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
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you have to post piccies aswell… there’s nothing better than cake porn and from what I’ve seen of your pastry goodness they’re hardcore!

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With Junkie Cookin the role of “Judge” might also be constrewed to be “tester” IE is it safe for everyone else to eat! Tongue out

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I’m sitting next to Bella!

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All Hail the FDO!

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…the right arm of J. C. Hutchinssss!!!!!!! Allez cuisine!

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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to offer my services on the judging panel!!! Wink

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Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

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We can have a Junkie Iron Chef competition. We’ll call it “Platinum Chef” as an homage to Earthcore, which got Scott started. Hmmmmm, I wonder what the secret ingredient should be???

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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This makes for a great starch component of any meal. Remember kids, balance your meals – 1 protien, 1 starch, 2 veg (screw the USDA pyramid, they don’t know what they’re talking about)

1½ – 2 pounds (about 2 large) sweet potatoes, peeled if desired

2 Tablespoons olive oil

¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Cut the sweet potatoes into rounds about ½ inch thick. Toss with the olive oil to coat, then toss with the Parmesan, salt and pepper to coat both sides. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet and bake in a preheated 350ºF oven for 15 minutes. Turn the sweet potatoes and cook until golden brown on both sides, about 10 to 15 minutes more.

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent Victim of GirlCo [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s]

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This is a really basic and servicable recipe, but it could use some refinement. I made this tonight exactly according to specs here (except i added a bit of salt) and found the cake to be dense and not as sweet as I would have expected. I think the denseness is because I used plain flour without any baking powder, rather than using cake flour. Apparently there is a difference. Cake flour usually has some leavening agent added to it, like baking powder, while plain flour does not. Keep that in mind when making this, Junkies. Try to stick with cake flour, but if all you have is regular flour, try adding 1/4 tsp baking powder to the mix, in addition to a healthy dash of salt. The baking powder creates gas bubbles in the batter that help make the finished product lighter and have more volume.

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

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MUAHAHAHA!!!

  • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
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dash of salt. I don’t know why you never see salt in this coffe-mug cake recepie, but you need it to set off the sugar and cocoa.

**All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

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this weekend

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*shrugs*

Meh…it’s a gift. :-p

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the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

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And I’m already designing the belt for the JunkieCon Peeps Deathmatch Champion.

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the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

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I like the idea of junkie cooking! I’ll need to peruse my recipes and see if I have anything yummy to contribute — other than peep jousting…okay, that’s debatable whether or not that’s considered cooking Tongue out

Thanks for the recipes, one and all!

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Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

Jayguana

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Not as good as Athanas’ Reese’s recipe though… Yum, that one makes me all warm and squishy just thinking about it!

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So Im glad you found it so quick.

Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

Jayguana

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I guessed and hit the right page on the first try!

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Damn that was quick! I hadn’t gotten far enough back to find it yet. Thank you.

Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

Jayguana

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5-minute chocolate cake

4 tablespoons flour

4 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons cocoa

1 egg

3 tablespoons milk

3 tablespoons oil

3 t ablespoons chocolate chips (optional)

A small splash of vanilla extract

1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

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Im going to try to track that down.

Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

Jayguana

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Here’s the list of ingredients:

  • vodka
  • Store bought box cake mix (and associated ingredients)
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1 box instant pudding
  • ½ cup chocolate chips
  • Handful of chocolate kisses

Adding one or all of the above ingredients to of store-bought box cake mix will take it to a whole new level in moistness and flavor. Here’s how to bake a homemade-store-bought cake:

  1. Now to make the homemade-store-bought cake: Follow the instructions cake baking instructions on the boxed cake mix: The only difference will be to add the instant pudding to the cake mix before adding any of the liquid ingredients. The pudding flavor is not important. For those with more adventurous taste buds, try adding instant butterscotch pudding. For a richer chocolate cake add instant chocolate pudding (In some circles, this is the recipe for Death by Chocolate cake).
  2. Add all the liquid ingredients EXCEPT the water. This is where you add the vodka. The amount is up to you I generally replace all the water the recipe calls for with vodka but this makes for a strong cake. My friends suggest going half and half, half vodka half water.
  3. Mix in accordance with the instructions on the cake box. When the cake consistency is no longer powdery, add the cup of sour cream. Continue to mix or beat as instructed. Do not be alarmed if the batter looks like it’s growing. The batter will be much fluffier than straightforward cake mix.
  4. This step is for chocolate chip lovers only: Sprinkle in the half-cup of chocolate chips. Using a spoon, mix the chocolate chips into the batter.
  5. The piece de resistance: After pouring the fluffy batter into the cake pan, unwrap several chocolate kisses and place them cone side down into the batter. Don’t force them all the way through the batter; just place them so the bottom of the chocolate kiss is even with the surface of the cake batter.
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I just got a panini toaster thing recently and opt for the filling

Pesto (spread on bottom half of bread)

Sundried tomato paste (spread on top)

German pepper salami

diced jalepeno peppers (not too many or all other flavours get drowned out)

mozzarella

I could live on these!

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BigJohn’s yummy hot sandwich

Ok, it’s nothing really that special:

1/4 cup chopped or sliced onion

1 mushroom, sliced

4-6 slices of turkey pastrami

1 slice swiss cheese

1 stadium/outdoor roll

1 Tbsp butter

Sautee the onions and mushrooms in butter, then warm the slices of turkey pastrami on top of them. Flip and turn the mix to distribute the buttery, mushroomy, onioney goodness.

Put the slices of pastrami on the open-face roll; cover with the sauteed mixture. Top with a slice of swiss cheese. Put in a toaster over just long enough so that the cheese is starting to melt.

Very simple, but very good. :)

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BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

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1 1/2 C. graham cracker crumbs
1 C. butter, melted
1 C. peanut butter
1 lb (1 box) powdered sugar
1 bag of chocolate chips

Mix until smooth and press into a 13 X 9 buttered pan. Melt 2 C. (1 bag) chocolate chips and spread on top.

Let cool at room temperature (cooling in the fridge makes them very brittle and hard to cut).

Have milk on hand.

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the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

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Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent Victim of GirlCo [flickr-photo:id=3727587091,size=s]

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Recipes, recipes, recipes, I see them flying around the forum all the time and usually in the oddest of places, so I figure this would be an awesome place to throw in recipe suggestions.

So far, I’ve seen a personal chocalte cake, vodka cake, and home made reese’s peanut butter cups.

What else do you cook that you think everyone should try?

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