This topic contains 114 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Profile photo of Joseph Cartwright Joseph Cartwright 5 years ago.

Jokes, bitstrips and the like

  • Profile photo of Joseph Cartwright

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    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m][flickr-photo:id=3725895360,size=m]

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Nuchtchas Nuchtchas
    Profile photo of Joseph Cartwright

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    I AM not just junkie, I AM a pusher man, I AM UNRec Leader & I AM Sadocks Tangent Brother.

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    it’s called …

    iTweet

    i collected response to "I tweet, therefore … " and am bitstripping them

    (click on the iTweet)

    #3
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Joseph Cartwright

    this is such a fun page.

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    I AM not just junkie, I AM a pusher man, I AM UNRec Leader & I AM Sadocks Tangent Brother.

    Profile photo of Shawn Laing

    That tree joke is priceless! I needed a good laugh! Thanks!

    You don’t understand. I’M not locked in here with YOU. YOU’RE locked in here with ME. – Rorschach

    Profile photo of ogreoregon
    Profile photo of Donald Martin

     
    Keep em coming

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #2 in crack hits (ain’t I special)

    Profile photo of Anna Villani

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.  He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

    Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

    Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

    The frog says, "Sure.  I have this.", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

    Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager, and disappears into a back office.

    She finds the manager and says, "There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there, who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000.  And he wants to use THIS as collateral."

    She holds up the tiny pink elephant.  "I mean, what in the world is this?"

    The bank manager looks back at her and says……

    "It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack.  Give the frog a loan.  His old man’s a Rolling Stone."

    Profile photo of Donald Martin

     
    That’s too friggin funny

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT

    Profile photo of Gmork

    He could of shaved before displaying *sheesh*

    Tongue out

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    gas powered 

    http://www.wordtoyour.com/page/6/

    *I’m The Rear Admiral but Siglers the Boss*

    Profile photo of Donald Martin

     Do one making fun of mumo, those are my favorite.

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -oh, wait, yeah, ok, ya got me
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Gmork

    looks like treed’s got ya hooked, jamLaughing

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    New bitstrip with a special nod to PG Holyfield and Treed… This really happened and I have video proof!

    follow the bitstrip link

    http://www.bitstrips.com/read.php?comic_id=56870&feed=a_17476

    [flickr-photo:id=2548963538,size=s]

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of J.P.

    I don’t see a thing (wink, wink). No typo there as far as I can tell (nudge, nudge). Not sure what she’s talking about…(grin)

    – Prospice tibi–ut Gallia, to quoque in tres partes dividaris.

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i tell my students every year, that they have a teacher who is dyslexic with numbers and has bad arithmatic skills, so they have to check every step to make sure i am doing it correctly…
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of CPK IrishmanFromOhio

     I liked that…

    The Irishman from Ohio

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    And students have been seeing through that deception for decades!  At least us smart ones… 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i use that……………
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    Funny rant, I love those cows…..and you can always cover you "but" by using the old teacher
    stand by…"I was just testing you, to see if you were paying attention."
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -going to post anymore bitstrips here, thought they took up too much space, but after jam and wlfies postings, hell, here’s a new one
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    shit, just saw a typo……………..

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -local ER’s were swamped with people overcome by what can only be described as a noxious gas of unknown origin at a local Wal-Mart. Officials at the Wal-Mart have no comment at this time, but witnesses say that the commotion was centered around one man seen being escorted out of the building. we will report more on this story as information becomes avalable
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Donald Martin

    My chest and sides are hurting wolf.

    I wonder what happened to that poor old lady,

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
    Profile photo of Donald Martin

     You literally made me bust out laughing.  Good thing I have my own office.

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
    Profile photo of James Keeling

    Very nice…  You should go to Europe.  There are bathrooms that require money to get the toilet paper.  That, and "standing" toilets with two handles to hold to keep away the ‘shakes’….

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Gmork

    On both the laugh and the barf!

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -and don’t forget the crescent vignettes, i almost did
    crescent will trouble your nightmares and make you even more paranoid, you both pray for and dread it to end
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of J.P.

    I have Crescent downloaded and in my queue. Right now I’ve just started Singularity; Crescent is now definitely next! I’m glad to come across a strong, positive endorsement!

    – Prospice tibi–ut Gallia, to quoque in tres partes dividaris.

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

       It is alot tamer compared to Jam’s and Wolfs wild account but Ladies, you know…….
      When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
        Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone’s Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.
        You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but  there isn’t – so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance." In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but you certainly hadn’t taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
        To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother’s voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday – the one that’s still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It’s still smaller than your thumbnail.
        Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for t he door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet, of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper – not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
        You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you’re certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don’t KNOW what kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you  grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and
    the wet toilet seat. You’re exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
        You can’t figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
        As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men’s restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

        This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms. (Rest??? you’ve GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long.
       It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of Nathan Wells

    and i thought this quote applied to our FDO: "A wizard is never late. He arrives prescisely when he means to."
    Nate Dogg (#7 crackhits if SOMEONE doesn’t keep trying to pass me)… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Nathan Wells

    "I’m 60.  Should I wear boxers or briefs? Depends."
    I thought of you guys…
    Nate Dogg (#7 crackhits if SOMEONE doesn’t keep trying to pass me)… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Wolf

    There are some posts that you should definately rethink including your tagline with.

    Profile photo of Wolf

    topless!

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    Both You and Wolf made me laugh too hard,  thank God for Depends.
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    This was one of the funniest things I’ve read.   
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -tee and the missing jersey
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    You’ve all been there.   Most of you won’t admit it, but you’ve been there.  You’re at this dinner party at some couple’s house.  Who are they?  You have no idea, it was your wife that made you come, so here you are pretending to be interested in the “local” property taxes even though you live all the way across the cities in “another county.”  But you smile and make nicey nice just to keep the peace.

    They feed you some horrible ethnic dish that your wife’s friend took off the internet.  It might have been pork, but you’re not really sure.  You’re polite and eat it all.  Why?  Because if you didn’t your wife would bitch at you for the next week and promise never to take you out again.  Although the never taking you out again may sound like a great idea, it’s the week’s worth of screaming at you that makes you choke it down.  Right away you realize you’ve made a big mistake.  You can feel the mystery dinner reacting with something in your stomach that you know “just ain’t right”.  They offer you another glass of wine.  “I’d like a beer actually” you think as you kindly take the proffered glass of wine and sip it.  The wine joins the horrible concoction that is turning your insides into mincemeat.  You think to yourself again “this really just ain’t right”.  So you excuse yourself and inquire where the bathroom is.  “Just down the hall, up the stairs, 2nd door on the left”. 

    At this time, you’re not sure if you can really make it.  Upstairs!  Who doesn’t have a bathroom on the main level of their home?  You inwardly curse your wife’s friend’s husband, even though you can’t even remember his name.  Tom, you think it was.  You manage to make it up the stairs and to the bathroom.  By now you know that if you don’t get to a toilet soon, you’ll blow a hole in your pants.  You fight the pressure as you calmly walk into the bathroom and close the door after which you rip at your belt buckle and shove your pants down like a wild beast barely making it to toilet.  The toilet seat was    ……  down thank God. 

    Very few things are more internally satisfying than evacuating completely in situations such as this.  There is one thing I absolutely hate about diarrhea though.  Absolutely hate!  You have to wipe your whole ass.  All of it.  And as you pull massive handfuls of toilet paper off the roll, you realize, it’s not just over your whole ass, it’s all over the back of your legs and the whole toilet seat as well.  Wonder if they’d mind if you used their shower quick.  Nah.  Great! You now have to clean off your ass, your legs, and the seat as well.  And wouldn’t you just know it; you’ve run out of toilet paper.  You do that uncomfortable squatty duck walk thing over to the cupboard under the sink, your pants around your ankles, praying you’ll find more toilet paper.  I mean, you could use the tissues from the Kleenex box, but that never goes well does it?  Toilet paper?  Hallelujah!  You finish wiping both yourself and the toilet seat, thinking your ordeal is over. 

    You flush the toilet, or more accurately, you attempt to flush the toilet.  Almost two whole roles of toilet paper will do that.  Now you’ve got to find a plunger!  You inwardly praise your wife’s friend, as she has a plunger right there by the toilet.  Not only that, she has a bottle of aerosol deodorizer too!  A few liberal sprays of that puppy and nobody will even know you’ve been there.  You finish cleaning up and join the others downstairs. 

    The rest of the evening goes without incident as you chat about this and that.  You head for the door and freedom, hoping desperately, that nobody sees the shit-stain on the back of your pants and down your right pant leg. 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    So I’m NOT the only one that’s ever happend to! 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -gawd, laughing so hard my stomach hurts and is cramping….
    That, my friend, is hysterical…
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Wolf

    I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You’re definitely going to mess yourself" chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off. Here’s the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No "Watson’s Movement 2". Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning. Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn’t until I was at the opposite end of the store from he restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go" pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don’t know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here’s what I mean, and I’m sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could’ve warned that poor woman but didn’t. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course , made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake. Here’s the thing. When you laugh, it’s hard to keep things "clamped down", if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I’d make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable "Oh my God", floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe". He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, " Oh my God!", then quickly left. Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, "Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem." That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, "IT’S YOU!" then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson’s. I can’t say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they’re going to have to repaint the store.

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -hehehehe
    Jovial rotweiller, indeed…………….
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    You know you’d hit that! 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    Is being easily amused…  Treed is a happy man… 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i thought you’d be pleased, ya know, all in the service of the FDO……..
    lol
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Richard Damge

    damn you treed, damn you

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -every evil mastermind needs a simpleton sidekick
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    I just realised, I will never see Oprah or Julie in the same way again…
    WHAT?   Wait a minute… O and J?… Oh  NOOOO!!! …. OJ???…  OJ!  It IS a conspriacy!!!!
    they have invaded to the depth of Junkydom…….
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -LOL, at least she wouldn’t pop like most of his dates
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Gmork

    I love your depiction of Julie Andrews….and to have her solicited by mumo –Brilliant!

    Great stuff, treedLaughing

    Profile photo of Peter Braat

    bitstrip Junkie now, Treed?

    I like them though. Very original. 

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    Mumo would crush her flat though!  hhhmmm…  maybe???? 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Vaney

    Why do I get the feeling that the guy is mumo Tongue out

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -how to make a julie character….will give it a try
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    It could become a classic…..FDO vs JULIE,   with unending episode material posibilities. GO TREED!
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of Gmork

    That is freakin’ funny…and the picture of Julie Andrew’s looks so sweet it’s disturbing!

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -YES!! did you know that someone opened a twitter account named Julie Andrews and is "attacking" scott, it is hysterical
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Gmork

    Now you need one with Sigler and that hellspawn Julie Andrews!!

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Vaney

    You’re just begging to be whacked, huh? Tongue out

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Peter Braat

    In that case:

    I like the way PG Holyfield drew the FDO™ quite nicely. lol 

    I just realised is the previous  sentence correct. I don’t know.

    [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    It’s an awesome story… 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i "Borrowed" PG’s characterization of the FDO
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Peter Braat

    you drew the FDO™ quite nicely. lol

    Convoco vel intereo, [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Profile photo of Peter Braat

    that is a funny cadaver joke. 

    Convoco vel intereo, [1st Dutch junkie] All that matters is getting my fix.

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -they are sort of precursers to the crescent story, but not necessary for the story

    how far in are you??
    other rossi goodness:
    http://www.philrossi.net/

    (jam may have been why i gave it a listen in the first place too.)
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Donald Martin

     I just started listening to Cresent, it’s really good so far

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -DUDE!! Cresent was the best scarist scifi have heard  EVER. just waiting on the Notes from the Vault. OH and click on my bitstrip. i have done others with you in them, i got your character from some one else….PG?? or Tee??
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Phil Rossi

    That hair is beautifully illustrated. 

    Crescent: http://www.crescentstation.net

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i felt this was an appropriate and accurate representation
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Donald Martin

     It really does look just like him

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
    Profile photo of Donald Martin

    It’s funny cause it’s true 

    • These gathering hosts of loyal junkies, under the command of the great SCOTT
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i am working on one in my head concerning part of christiana’s blooper segment
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    I gotta start playing with those too…         

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -that’s jam in the last panel
    people in the first panel left to right:

    phil rossi, Phillippa Balentine (PG’s version), MYN, Christiana (Space Casey), Bennett, the mighty mur (the GODDESS of podcasting), Cactusnic, Harwood and PG Holyfield (DAMN IT, i forgot to put in TEE and lester and …!!)
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    You did good, this is so funny!
    *I am the Rear Admiral but Sigler gives the Orders*

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -so maybe i’ll apologize … maybe
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    Is just plain mean….  accurate, but mean… 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -of course i heard it with different school listed
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of ogreoregon

    An OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table.   Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body.  When he rolled it over he was shocked to see a cork in the man’s butt.  Mystified, he pulled out the cork and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy’s butt. Shaken by what had happened he quickly shoved the cork back into it’s original resting place.

    He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting,  "Sir, you must come, you won’t believe what I discovered!"

    Annoyed by the interruption, he said, "Let’s take a look at this astounding discovery."

    When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork.  Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song he quickly replaced the cork in the cadavers butt and said, "What’s so surprising about that?  I’ve heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
    *I’m Rear Admiral but Sigler’s the Boss*

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -some math professors website a few years back
    and deleting the thread (if you created it,, you click the edit tab, then at bottom, click delete
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Nathan Wells

    ps my math class+teacher thought ur joke was funny.
    Nate Dogg… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -if you created the thread, you can delete it
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Nathan Wells

    dead baby jokes….
    Nate Dogg… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

    Profile photo of Nathan Wells

    Nate Dogg… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -too kind, not my joke, i just bitstripped it. working on another one involving Amish hummingbirds carrying duct tape (or was it an Amish Joe with an hummingbird on his shoulder and duct tape in his hand? works either way)
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    new bitstrip

    http://bitstrips.com/read.php?comic_id=37487

    Profile photo of Richard Damge

    thats funny treed

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -i hate it when i click post comment by mistake
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -had to get a little inventive, but it works

    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -this just isn’t for me and my silly bitstrips, here’s a place to tell jokes and riddles and post comics (or the url for it). BTW i plan on making a bitstrip with the Amish driveby theme. but this will take some time. they need to add more objects (animals specifically) to their palette.
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Nathan Wells

    Nothing like math jokes…
    Nate Dogg… "life is hard. But its one helluva lot harder if you’re stupid"- -John Wayne

    Profile photo of Vaney

    Cute, very cute. Gonna read the sigler houston one.

    • "We may have days, we may have hours. But sooner or later, we all push up flowers…" -Grim Fandango
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -the tie dude is me, when they get more selctions for clothing i will change my alter ego
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    I can see Mumo and WDad, which one am I?  the one with the tie?  Or the one with the beard and hat? 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -sigler in texas series you might enjoy
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -DAMN IT
    click on pic and you will go to my bitstrips
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    Cute… I like it! 

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    -making it fit DAMN IT
    http://www.pgholyfield.com/maah/

    Profile photo of James Keeling

    If it’s the same as flickr…

    Where it says  flickr-photo:id=230452326,size=s

    Change the size=s to size=-   (a dash)  that should make it bigger…  It is somewhat small…

    SynapticJam on Toast – hhhmmm… tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK)

    Profile photo of Thomas Reed
    Profile photo of Thomas Reed

    Just cause i figured we needed this kind of outlet

    it this doesn’t work out i will delete this thread

    i have been wanting to tell this joke/pun

    finally found a way to do it

    adding link to my bitstrip page

    http://www.bitstrips.com/feed.php?feed=a_1222

    enjoy

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