This topic contains 19 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Profile photo of athanas athanas 4 years, 9 months ago.

How many CRAZED Zombie-like 3rd graders could you take out? -THE ULTIMATE CONVERSATION STARTER-

  • Profile photo of athanas

    that’ll get their attention.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Profile photo of Louis Schwitzer

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    Profile photo of athanas

    as you realize causing injury to these kids will most likely end up badly for you.

    That being said, if you’ve got a dozen or so undead little bastards barreling down on you, you’re going to be punting crotches and stomping faces with the quickness at every chance you get.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Profile photo of BigJohn

    ZOMBIE TRAINING FACILITIES!!!

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    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Profile photo of Nathan Beckett

    I’d bet on a bunch of little guys against one big guy any time.

    The Zombie Apocalypse can strike at any time. Be alert. Be prepared.

    Profile photo of Nathan Beckett

    I could probably do ok for awhile if I could see them coming, and take them out one at a time. But any more than two, or three at once and you’re done brother. Having been tackled by small children (though thankfully not zombie crumbsnatchers) I know that they are easy to underestimate, and their combined numbers at up fast. As a veterinary technician I also know that if a crazed animal (or in this case, zombie) wants to get you there is little you can do about it, and stuff gets ugly quick.

    The Zombie Apocalypse can strike at any time. Be alert. Be prepared.

    Profile photo of Joel Cotter

    I love zombie scenarios! I long for the day when some virus mutates and I’m forced to hack, slash, and dismember the living corpses of the populace. The no weaponse thing is kinda out their though. There are always items around that are perfect for killing zombies. I would perfer some kind of bladed weapon or bashing weapon, anything that uses ammo is just a stupid idea. In the wearhouse I would probably just pick something up and bash their lil heads in to start while running through them trying to make it to some kind of high ground. Since they’re little I’d perfer highground that I would have to jump to since the little ones wouldn’t be able to get up their. Once I got to the highground I would evaluate the situation and look for more thing to use or fashing into weapons and just contine the slaughter. I wonder if its possible to kick a little zombie kids head actually off, I’ll have to try that when it happens. Just thinking of destroying me some zombies make me so happy. Oh how I long for a zombie apocolyps.

    Profile photo of Kate Cheevers

    On whether I thought out a good reaction or just lost all bowel control in panic.

    One night I woke up and looked at my bedroom door and my daughter was just standing in the doorway (half-asleep) staring at me. I had a total Dawn of the Dead moment, clearly saw her running for me with her teeth bared ready to rip out my throat, and froze. Yep – I’d be dead in no time.

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    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Profile photo of Kate Cheevers

    Working at a McDonald’s Playland! Or Chuck-e-Cheese! At last at school you’re supposed to pretend to be civilized…

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    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Profile photo of Louis Schwitzer

    I work in an elementary school.

    Profile photo of Jason Williamson

    Its a completely seperate part of your brain that can reduce things to it simplest forms and decide what to do.

    Festina Lente (Make Haste Slowly)

    Jayguana

    Profile photo of Renee Jordan

    My dad used to say I have a “tactical mind” or some such shit. I usually think of it as a “holy crap I’m freaking insane – mind”, but it’s worked for me this far ;)

    **All this plan is missing is a giant freaking laser in space.”**

    Profile photo of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Just remember that when the time comes you’ll have less time for thinking, and you’ll just have to be able to react. :P

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Profile photo of Rich Bennett

    thought in to this question. Or do you have personal experience with third grade zombies? Take the lil buggers out now I say. Dont wait for them to become zombies.

    Richno3…….out

    Profile photo of Renee Jordan

    You start out unarmed, but you gotta figure that if you’re in a big empty warehouse, there’s bound to be a 2×4 or a metal pipe (or if you’re exceptionally lucky, a crowbar) laying around somewhere. Figuring that the average 3rd-grader is going to weigh around 60lbs or so, using one of them as a weapon isn’t really a good idea… too heavy to swing more than once without losing your balance, no sharp edges to take heads off with, and it’s highly unlikely that you’d be able to simply rip a limb off and use that. Human tissue is remarkably tough and difficult to tear. Heck, even chicken skin takes quite a bit of effort to tear bare-handed. If they’re “rage-zombies”, your best bet would be to run, find some high ground where you could kick them down as they try to climb up for you. A three-story drop is usually enough to cause a significant amount of bone breakage in an adult to render the person either immobile or at least severely compromised, but little kids tend to be very flexable and have soft bones that don’t break easily, so you’re looking at an extended fight. The best bet would be to find some cover, hopefully in a defensible location within the warehouse, then find something that can be used as an improvised weapon. I figure that most people could take out two, maybe three of the little buggers before the swarm overtakes them. Remember, while you’re twisting one of their little heads off with your bare hands or bashing it in with your scavenged bit of catwalk railing, the other hundred are going to be climbing up your legs, biting chunks out of your ankles, and getting their jelly-and-blood smeared fingers into your eyes & mouth.

    Great, now I’m gonna have nightmares tonight about this senario.

    **All this plan is missing is a giantfreaking laser in space.”**

    Profile photo of Eric Parker

    I personally think I could handle 5 of the crazy little buggers Maybe as much as 7. Depends on whether they have higher-level tactics developed yet.

    Profile photo of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    The first level (maybe a mall or something, where not a ton of 3rd graders are), I could win. The last level – an elementary school – I would probably die at some point. I’d actually probably die a few levels before that. :P

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Profile photo of Eric Parker

    And how many do you think it would be?

    Profile photo of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    There seriously needs to be a game made out of this. I’m probably somewhere in between a Perry and an Amos. It depends on just how many 3rd graders there are, though, methinks.

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Profile photo of Eric Parker

    You are in a HARDCORE pitched battle to the death with group of crazed psychotic 3rd graders who are BELLOWING for your blood. Think like the rage-virus zombies from 28 days/weeks later (except you don’t need to worry about being bitten or anything). They never tire, they come full speed all the time, but are ONLY as strong as a normal third grader. They will Bite, scratch, kick, punch, gang up on, and try to kill you in any way possible!

    Here’s the scenario:

    • You are Trapped in a warehouse (large empty building)
    • Unarmed
    • NO HOLDS BARRED!
    • And the always asked question: YES YOU CAN PICK ONE OF THE THIRD GRADERS UP AND USE THEM AS A WEAPON!

    So Here’s the question. How many could YOU take out? Are you a Perry Dawsey or an Amos Braun?

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