This topic contains 544 replies, has 21 voices, and was last updated by Avatar of athanas athanas 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

Check your kid gloves at the door

  • Avatar of BigJohn

    In the interest of not completely overwhelming the Crack Hits thread any more than we already have (completely taking up the first page with our first day’s harangue), athanas and I have opted to take our grisly battle to a more isolated venue.

    All are welcome, and we’ll do our best to contain the bloodshed, but we cannot be blamed if our ferocious battle spills out into a few other threads.

    If you sit in the first three rows, you may get soaked in blood. You’ve been warned.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Ihz’s ohn!!

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Continuing our glorious battle from this thread comment…
    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/1110#comment-81273

    Having just realized in the last few days what being a pusher was, as we congratulated our lady belladonna on that occasion most auspicious, I too yearn with unbridled passion for that status as well. Your own idle attitude towards advancement belies your laggard’s nature. Lighting a fire under you was not intended as an act of encouragment! Nay, ’twas intended as immolation must foul.

    Yes, I showed up and changed your world. This appears to have come to a shock to you, as I caught your pitiful tribe by surprise. You now try to rally your wretched folk in some pitiable defense against the coming onslaught. This is not news to me, though. My introduction and presence has that sort of affect on flora and fauna alike. Athansonia is not the first, nor will it be the last to succumb to my irresistable charm. Force! I mean force! Irreststable force. This latest conquest will shine as yet another trophy on my mantle. I refer you to the battle of Staigue Fort: http://web.mac.com/bigjohnv/Ireland/Ireland/pages/page_172.html.

    You may rape all the cattle you feel necessary, though I don’t quite understand your village’s customs. If you plan to spoil the land before I purge you of it, that’s to be expected. Please just make sure the cattle are of a suitable age, and parental consent, though not required, is at least requested.

    My own 6-foot-1, 240 pound frame appears well matched against yours. Our battle will surely fell many misguided warriors fighting in your defense. Those poor souls indeed will spend eternity in Hel, while I watch from on high, having left you far, far behind as I reflect on this trifling conquest. You may seek entrance to Valhalla, but since I’ve already taken over the place, I’m closing its doors to you and yours. The Valkryie and I have an…arrangement, which includes visitation and 15 football games per year.

    In the meantime, as I prep for battle and unleash volley after volley, you’ll find yourself gradually losing ground. For your advancement at this stage is one of logrithmic increase; I jump leaps and bounds with ease, leaving more and more junkies behind in my advance, while you struggle and struggle to crawl just one more position.

    Overtake you? Inevitable.

    Win? A foregone conclusion.

    Sharpen your blade, sir. The battle commences.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I knew what a pusher was. I was content on getting there as He (the almighty evil lord of evilly evil, the beloved FDO) saw fit, his will be done, and all that other bullshit I’m pilfering from preexisting religious sayings and prayers. My goal was to live harmoniously with those around me and reap the benefits of toil, backbreaking labor, and intermarriage with the locals.

    But you had to fire the first volley at the peaceful folks of Athanasonia, and I quote, “I’m riding the crazy crack train up from the bottom of page 2. I’m gunnin’ for ya, athanas!” At no time did anyone threaten you. At no time did anyone throw a stone at you, call you a smell doo-doo head, or offer you a cigar that exploded in an unsuspecting yet hilarious fashion. You, sir, were the aggressor, so lament to no one when the Smackdown Bomb™ obliterates your castle built in the swamp.

    My people have rallied against your “threat” and will soon stomp you out, forcing you back to whatever dregs birthed you in the first place. This “charm” you speak of is nothing more than the funk of week old cheese left in a rotting ‘possum’s gullet that you appear to have stepped and tracked along the floor, sullying the proper medicinal growing soil that I’ve created here.

    Nor was I bragging about my features; that was to merely show you that while you speak of Valhalla and Ragnarok, generations of viking blood flows through my veins giving me insight from the ancients, noble savages and warriors whose sole purpose in life was to create me to stand against your uprising.
    And while I am trained in viking broad sword combat (yeah, for real; was with a historical recreation society for a bit and learned how to fight with a viking sword) I will need not a blade to best you. My fists, arms, and groin are registered as deadly weapons in any country that doesn’t use chickens as currency. I am a submission wizard and while my broadsword will be used to disarm you, the real pain will come from stretching your joints in ways they weren’t meant to bend.

    You will obviously pass those lesser than me on your ascension as I will do the same. The day may come where you are listed right below me. The day you are listed above me? Preposterous. Impossible. Unachievable.

    Accept your status as “lower than athanas”. You will find peace much sooner that way.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    Break the crack hit barriers before you! It is the most awesome feeling you can imagine. In doing so, beware the trap of posting nonsensical posts just to post and feed your crack addictions. Posts like that have been know to be eaten by digital ANCESTORS that hide in the background of the site. And as some of us know, I first hand, It hurts most painfully to have your CH’s eaten and removed from your tally.

    But really, the best feeling, the very best feeling, is reaching the highest heights of crackwhoredness to then give just give them all away and start the epic trek again. That is, once the Crack Hit a giver starts working again….. Cool

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the “Iron Man” Award. Pusher twice over.

    UNdead Advisor to the King Of UNdead fo

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    This could end up being reminiscent of the great mumo00 vs. wallerdad showdown that also merited it’s own thread. ;)

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    Let the games begin! We can always use some good flamery and insults to laugh at and join in on. But these guys are using some pretty big words for me. :p

    Hey IBS, sorry I didnt stop and say hi to you at Norman. I didnt recognize you as I think (smack me if I’m wrong, you know how men or a least I am about things like that) you changed your hair style?

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the “Iron Man” Award. Pusher twice over.

    UNdead Advisor to the King Of UNdead fo

    Avatar of athanas

    while it may be white collar now, I have a feeling this will end up quite low brow before it’s all said and done.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    I will await the time that It becomes low brow enough for my participation. That is if its not a private party! :)

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the “Iron Man” Award. Pusher twice over.

    UNdead Advisor to the King Of UNdead fo

    Avatar of BigJohn

    My intial statement was no call for attack, simply a stating of the obvious. Consider it a friendly ring-ring on my plaid bicycle’s bell as I politely alert you to the oncoming traffic of mindless blathering. But did you step to the side, as would be the polite thing to do? No. You took it as a personal attack, as befits your Viking ancestors. Fearing ducks everywhere they looked, they fled their cozy nordic homes in search of places without the monstrous fowl that caused them to cower and quake so. That genetic quirk (quack?) pervades your soul even today, as you overreact to the slightest breach of normalcy or hint of progress. I’m embarrassed to say I saw you in the grocery store just the other day, unwilling to offer your place in line to the kind, little old lady with only the peppermint toothpaste to purchase, forcing her to wait behind your mountains of toilet paper, hemorrhoid cream, toe fungus medicine, cheap kentucky bourbon and Bit-o-honey by the pound.

    In the name of progress, I implore you to step aside and renounce your fuddy-duddy ways! We’re in the 21st century now; those who stand still or meander without purpose will stagnate and wither (apparently you, judging from the rank, malodorous stench wafting in a cloud around you, may have reached a stage of composting heretofore unexperienced by eco-knight and forest floor alike) shall be trampled by the youthful mob, moshing their way ever fore- and upward. Had you been content to merely step aside whilst I pogo’d by, this bloodshed, mental torment and rapacious caterwauling might never have happened.

    So don’t blame me for your misplaced attachment to the past. I guarantee you that the new order will be happy to place you and your lethal body parts into a museum of quaint antiquities, ever to be polished to a bright sheen for tomorrow’s youth to glance at on their way to duddies even fuddier than you. They may (though I find it unlikely) see fit to impart their tired, chewed gum onto the edifice of your pathetic diorama, and you’ll be happy for the attnetion, brief and fleeting tho it may be.

    Find yourself an appropriately sized hole in a tree, and wait for the storm to pass you by. You probably can find a knotted hole large enough to fit you, but feel free to use your Athanas Kung-Fu Grip upon the trunk to expand the space to accommodate your oversized head, filled to near-bursting with self-important aggrandizing. I promise to leave all the trees alone as I barrel through your forest. I won’t disturb your slumber, nor will I taunt you with repetitive knock-knock jokes when I discover your hidey-hole.

    Sleep on, athanas. Good night to you. When you awaken, the faraway storm on the horizon will be closer still. You might think of the comforting rain to come, but don’t forget that storms have a way of tossing little sticks about.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Just like Gallagher!! But without the hammer and watermelon, and with much, much more (I hope) blood!!!! How do I get front row seats to this bad boy?!?!?!? Or should I say bad boys???

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    Pusher and [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m] & the Gutter Sistren.

    Avatar of Gmork

    A new flame space!!
    I see BigJohn saying emoticons and I see athanas saying emoticons and it all ending with emoticons
    Sweet!!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    In 4 southern states of the US, saying “I’m comin’ for ya” constitutes hostilities and not only will you be exonerated for doing so, you are legally obligated to shoot that person 18 times. Trying to say “it’s all a joke” after the fake doesn’t change the fact that you’re still dead, son, half-past or otherwise.

    Mindless blathering I will give you as your prose can be likened to a herpetic Jane Austin hepped up on quaaludes and malt liquor. Entertaining, to be sure, but not worthy of a NY Times Best Sellers slot.

    As for your misinformation in regards to the vikings, I will have to correct you post haste. Tired of raping and pillaging their own villages (this would be like you saying “Hey, it’s Tuesday, let’s go steal Bill’s TV and pull a train on his wife”) they had the testicular fortitude to redefine long distance ocean travel for the sake of carnage, carnal lust, and getting paid by limp wristed Frenchmen who were none to keen on being the object of their affection. My friend, that is a society of ass whippers and the art of ass whippery runs through my blood. you will feel it’s full effect as it’s blasted across your face (and if you give me a minute or two, I can easily blast you again).

    And again, you’re back to my ass. I’m beginning to wonder what you’re going on about and if you were really more into Lion-O than you were Cheetara. not that there’s anything wrong with that, and I’m really quite flattered, but I must turn down your advances.
    Maybe this is why you’re showing such hostilities; you want to be with me, yet that will never be. It’s okay, you can quit me.

    I have no fuddy duddy ways. At a prime 28 years of age (29 as of March 18th; mark your calender, as I expect plenty of presents and/or adulation) I am far more cynical than my years, but a fuddy duddy, I am not. I drive too fast, love too hard, and fight to deadly to be considered an FD.

    One thing I will give you, however, is I have a ginormous nugget. Seriously. Donkey Kong ain’t got shit on my head. I feel sorry for my mother as I wasn’t a C-section, and that had to suck.

    And I will sleep well as I spent a splendid evening with a lovely young woman ingesting far too much $1 sushi at the local parlor tonight. And that rumbling of a storm you think will be coming will just be your indigestion as your insides will begin to curdle knowing that no matter what you do or how hard you try you will NEVER beat me.

    Tomorrow shall be round two and a further test of styles. Sleep well, you’ll need your rest.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    a fly in my ointment.
    or a small frog in my bag of salad.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    I think you know where my mind went….to the gutter! Tongue out

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the “Iron Man” Award. Pusher twice over.

    UNdead Advisor to the King Of UNdead fo

    Avatar of Vaney

    The bloodshed is so damn entertaining!Laughing

    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of athanas

    can someone get me a towel?

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Dawn of a New Day

    The sun is up, minutes pass

    Big John, where are you?

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m here, don’t worry.

    If you’re afraid of the dark,

    I will hold your hand.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Dark, schmark, it’s daytime

    I was afraid you’d run off

    Fearing your demise

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    “get my box stuffed”!!! Tongue out

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher and [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m] & the Gutter Sistren.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I was distracted

    when stepping so gingerly

    over a junkie

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Or was that a request?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    constant distractions

    lie everywhere. only true

    champions forge through

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Beware, athanas:

    Your tenuous, shrinking lead

    Is now eleven

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Time to watch your back

    Your friends are my agents, like

    Your well-armed monkey

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Pongo is legit

    He serves only his master

    That master is me

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    when this is all said
    and done, this is a post that
    we must revisit

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher and [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m] & the Gutter Sistren.

    Avatar of athanas

    Run out of steam, John?
    You don’t seem yourself today
    The number now grows

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    >snap!<

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    That’s not what I meant
    There was a…spill of some sort
    Man, I need a smoke

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Exoticali

    Sneaks in quietly at night

    And shakes the place up.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Your number may grow

    But the gap between us shrinks.

    It’s now down to eight.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’ll take advantage

    of Kali’s distracting you

    to further my cause.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    “exponential growth”
    You should study that. Explains
    Why the gaps are such

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Just like in real life
    Five minutes and a good cry
    I’m back in the game

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Oh, I am aware.

    It seems you don’t realize

    How that helps me out.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    you still don’t get it
    It’s not about place in line
    It’s crack in the bank

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    One step at a time:

    Close the gap, then wait for your

    focus to falter.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    You may close the gap
    but my focus will never….
    Oh! a butterfly!

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    your ploy will not work
    sexy asian assassins
    Will not deter me

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Though it takes me time

    Your early senility

    Really helps my cause

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Mind games, aren’t they all
    Maybe that was just a ploy
    And I’m sharp as ever

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m sorry to say:

    My agent Gary Wilkins

    You know as Pongo

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    “Gary Wilkins”? BAH!
    That’s not a real monkey name
    Mr. Bobo is.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m distracted now

    It’s time for a cold shower

    I may not be back.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Not distracted, no

    Something…words. right. my haiku.

    Somebody say “boob” ?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It’s a shame that you

    Can’t tell if it was a ploy.

    I know, but won’t tell.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It’s hard to believe,

    But his disguise is that good.

    He’s a pro, that guy.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    he searches me for

    ticks, will fling poo on command
    also, no zipper

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    The joy of mindfuck

    Don’t know if it’s true or not

    Maybe I’m a chick

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Wait, she’s not your pawn?
    Then there’s a third in this game!

    I will trust no one.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You may be a chick?

    That may explain why

    I stare at your ass.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    He wears a diaper;

    That’s the most convincing part

    of his brilliant sham.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    you will be shocked, then
    when you find out that my junk
    is bigger than yours

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    How could I have known

    My plot would backfire on me?

    Her charms work too well.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Pongo obeys me
    I will shave him down tonight
    We’ll see who he is

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m sad to hear that.

    It’s too bad that yours is junk.

    Cuz mine works just fine.

    Big. John.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    When the secret’s out

    I know you’ll spank the monkey

    Just to feel better.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Chimp shave-down complete
    I can confirm monkey wang
    Pongo is not pleased

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    knew that would bite me
    Should have used “wang” isntead
    A more mature word

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    home to a party in my box! Hay-O!

    Ok, we’re really in the gutter now!!!!! [flickr-photo:id=4368810333,size=m]

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher and [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m] & the Gutter Sistren.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    wait… wrong again. Nevermind. Carry on!

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    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

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    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Vaney

    Gutterbrains galore

    makes me laugh.

    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of Belladonna420

    My best friend and I yell *CRACK KILLS!* everytime we see “plumber’s crack”. We find it quite amusing! [flickr-photo:id=4369581706,size=m]

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    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Gmork

    …. is EPIC!!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    :-P

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    say a few million sea creatures may have died, but after the area is recovered with a sandwich, gatorade, and some zinc pills, they should come back fairly quickly.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    We’re both alive at the dawn of day three

    The victor, well, we know who he’ll be

    I could go on of Big John

    But he won’t stay along

    When he realizes the winner is me

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Are you able to keep up this pace?

    Flame anew? Keep it up? Save your face?

    If you’re starting to doubt,

    Feel free to cop out.

    You can always withdraw in disgrace

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I am the model of the 60 minute man

    I can go longer than most anyone can

    I will never lose steam

    I walk away in your dreams

    I’m stronger than peppered cayenne

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    I think this might be the new Pirates vs. Ninjas!

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I refuse to give up on this quest

    The truth is that I don’t need any rest.

    Though you try to keep pace

    In this crack junkie race

    You’ll have to settle for being second-best.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Sixty minutes seems to you very long

    But for days I’ve been known to go strong

    Is there a particular reason

    to limit your pleasin’?

    It seems selfish to me, and just wrong.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It may have to do with your junk.

    Perhaps it’s run out of spunk.

    ‘Course you may be a girl,

    So let’s give it a whirl

    You can be my new bitch, little punk.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    You started your journey too late
    Right now sealed up is your fate
    I have still quite the lead
    though you beg and you plead

    Until all of your spirits deflate

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It seems I’m fighting this war on two fronts.

    Athanas begged UV’s help on this hunt.

    He must be feeling the heat,

    (Knows he’s about to be beat)

    But I’m still gonna whip these two…chaps.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Close your eyes, and pretend that you’re fine.

    But to mercy, I am not inclined.

    I’m coming up fast,

    You’re about to be passed.

    One day soon, Josh, your ass will be mine.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    The saying was taken from the Nature Boy

    Ric Flair, a wrestler of employ

    He always put on great matches

    Never with dull patches

    More than I can say for your incompetent ploys

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I know not who this is who enters the fray

    But I believe the man should have his say

    For even he can tell now

    You’re an ass around town

    And mocking you is making his day.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Mine eyes are open to the truth

    Even as I am more your youth

    You’ll soon stall out

    Losing all of your clout

    And I will still rule this roost.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    My prowess has never been questioned

    “Spunk”, as you say, never held in retention

    No complaints from a lass

    When tappin’ dat ass

    Nor complaints of size ever mentioned.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You know that your story smells funky.

    You just can’t sneak that lie past a junkie

    “No complaints,” big or small

    You’ll get nothing at all

    Cuz that ass belongs to a monkey.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Yes, you’re young but you’ve made a mistake.

    It’s the difference experience makes.

    My strategy’s sound

    I’m flanking around

    Uh-oh! I’ve just stolen your cake!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    UV won’t be subject to attack.

    I’m looking forward, not looking back.

    But if he jumps in this fray

    He’ll just make my day

    As I eat all his crack hits for snacks.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    You seem to like my junk, on to a topic another

    Your questioning is a line to be smothered

    But if you must ask
    Of my last conquest of ass

    Why, look no further than your mother

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I’m reckless to the bone I do must admit

    But when it comes to limericks I give him no shit

    He has showed prowess before

    Of rhyming words, quite cocksure

    I just hope he’s not mad we’re stealing his bit

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    That one was good, I will not lie

    But in the end, you soon will still die

    I can do laps around you

    With words of afew

    And when it comes to sweets, I’m more into pie.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Wow, Athanas, that’s truly depraved.

    About that sort of thing, please don’t rave.

    You’ve struck a new low

    But i’ve just got to know,

    Was it awkward for you in her grave?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Of course some day my time here will end.

    But alas, not before you, my friend.

    From my seat up on high

    I will watch you die

    As you still try so hard to ascend.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I’m perplexed at how you think that’ll do

    When even now I’m so much further than you

    You started this all

    An intense verbal brawl

    All while trying a coup.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Not so you’d think when you’ve got a backhoe

    Moving the earth, though going is quite slow

    But don’t be alarmed

    I knew of the harm

    And was sure to double bag my bone.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Keep on thinking you’ve nothing to lose.

    Sit Down and relax; take off your shoes.

    Crack open a beer,

    Nothing to see here,

    I’ll make up the time while you snooze.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Glad to hear that your judgement’s not poor.

    I’d have thought you a hedonist boor.

    But your consideration

    Spares her the indignation

    Of exposure to your weeping sores.

    Avatar of Vaney

    I know I’ll fit right in! Wink

    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of Eric Parker

    You see I was not going to take part,

    Being funny was my aim from the start.

    Your picture a gay pirate,

    His, a monkey ready to fire at,

    Then John had to make it a black mark.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    The funny thing: for you I was Rootin,

    Athanas I knew not from Putin,

    Yet with one little quip,

    Sorry that’s it,

    Your ass is now for the bootin

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    John this one rhymer you don’t want to be messin,

    Your limericks, at best, are quite tepid,

    Against a master like me

    Can’t win you must see,

    A sleeping dragon you awoke you cretin.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    The enemy of my enemy is my friend

    An old phrase that truly meets my ends

    Athanas help does not need

    To beat you in deed,

    A message is what I mean to send

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    While in Crack hits you have me beaten

    A junkie a long time you’ve been treated

    But its time for new blood

    And I’m just the stud

    To knock you from grace most defeated

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Now after this barrage I see your cowerin,

    Over you Athanas and I are towerin

    So go lick your wounds

    go pick on some n00bs

    our forums you’ll no longer be sourin.

    Avatar of athanas

    My standards have known to be light

    So when it comes to the 3’s I do it up right

    You can never be sure

    And I’ll never trust her

    So I’m sure to always armor my knight

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    You still don’t get that you’re nothing to me

    But this is a fight that all want to see

    You’ll come with a flurry

    I’ll KO you in a hurry

    I’m the Italian Stallion and you’re Mr. T

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Further proves my original stance

    One can simply not fuck with this man

    His rhymes are too pure

    Of that I am quite sure

    Here’s 5 more crack hits to my hand

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    for Gutter Sistren Boy-Toy?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    While it’s true your mad skillz are the best,

    I’ll take you both on in this test.

    The limericks won’t stay;

    Tomorrow’s a new day.

    We’ll see what style we come up with next.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It is a ghastly propensity

    To pursue a woman who can’t flee.

    Cuz I’m sure that most would

    Run away from the wood

    That falls off when you have to pee.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    That’s an interesting parallel to draw

    As you lean in with your fiberglass jaw

    Your swings I will dodge

    While your teeth I dislodge

    Is that your pride on the floor that I saw?

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    May win the day? Ha I laugh!

    Sorry there is no doubt of that,

    Victory is mine

    The bell has just chimed

    I’m the true master of this craft.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Tomorrow may be a new day its true

    And involvement I might leave to you,

    But rest assured,

    support is now moored

    On Athanas should he need crew.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    There’s an app for that?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    With the losing team you’re now allied.

    To a sinking ship you find yourself tied.

    Take my hand, you young fool,

    And together we’ll rule!

    Can’t you see that you’re on the wrong side?

    Avatar of athanas

    I’m man who knows how to have fun
    But I’m smart enough to use my brain on the run
    When it comes to my John Thomas
    I know where the harm is
    I don’t want it burning when I go number one

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Taken many head traumas in my day
    but down is one thing I haven’t learned to stay
    I may fall in the ring
    But I’m back like a spring
    Ready to crush all those in my way

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I asked first!!!!!!1111oneoneoneoneuno

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Well now, look here and see
    Appears the audience is leaning towards me
    They know talent when they see it
    And what’s just pure bullshit
    Allow me a pillow for your soon bowed knee

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    You guys are getting brutal!!!!

    GOOD TIMES!!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    Ahh So says “Vader” No not him, the prissy one.

    The guy who was played by Hayden Christian,

    Hey you got to admit,

    That rhyme was legit,

    Even if it was followed by a fishy one.

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    But I’m afraid I digress a bit,

    Yet now is no time to confess to shit

    To your cause I’ll not go,

    I’ll side Athanas for Sho’

    And now I’ll take a short Respite.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Having merely one ally around

    Won’t help you much in this here town

    It’s Girlco, you’ll see

    Who’ll rally to me

    Gutter Sistren and I’ll take you down.

    Avatar of athanas

    When it comes to all things limerick

    UV is more than the trick
    As an Ace up my sleeve
    He’s all that I need
    ‘Sides, I’ve already asked to be Sistren’s token dick

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You should know this; it’s really quite frightening

    When you hear it, your face will be whitening.

    Crack I eat has a fate:

    It ends up on your plate.

    Yes, that’s right, you are eating my lightning.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Now you might say I’m being a meanie,

    But you’ve overlooked something quite teenie:

    After all that you’ve said

    About humping the dead

    They want nothing to do with your weenie

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m surprised just a bit here, my friend,

    How much effort you choose to expend

    on your insane memorobilia

    for your gross necrophilia

    That you seem quite eager to defend.

    Avatar of athanas

    The woman in my life are all not dead

    Some, just deceased in the head

    When the night grows cold

    And its last call I’m told

    I’ll pretty much take anything to bed

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    While you may think that would send me for a loop

    And I’m realizing there’s no depth to how far you will stoop

    While I have a stomach made of iron

    I’ve eaten things that would surely choke a lion
    I’m convinced in my life that I’ve never ingested poop

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Who’s side shall we rally to???

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    If I were a betting man, I’d say I’m in the clear

    To them dead germs are nothing to fear

    You see, they’re women with a twist

    The twist is they’re vampire chicks

    And you can’t kill what’s already dead, my dear

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It’s clear where you stand on romance;

    With that charm, they don’t stand a chance.

    By the way, that’s sarcasm;

    Your creamated orgasm

    Will leave ash stains inside of your pants

    Avatar of athanas

    We’ve established that I’m younger, remember?

    And romance becomes a lit ember

    When the bells start to chime

    And it’s baby-makin’ time

    It’s not dust that shoots from MY member.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You’d best hope that Girlco (undeclared)

    Won’t read this thread and then become scared.

    Your cavalier ‘tude

    They might think is rude

    And they will known that you never cared

    Avatar of BigJohn

    What’s that sound? That loud cacophony?

    Oh! That’s something I don’t want to see!

    Despite all your bragging,

    I’m glad you’re not gagging

    Then again, you’re choking your monkey.

    Avatar of athanas

    I doubt GirlCo would bat an eye

    To the dreadful things said by you or I

    They’re fans of adult subject matter

    Eyelashes I doubt they’d bat’er

    Their disposition I reckon sure as hell ain’t shy

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It’s the alpha that leads in the pack

    And I’ve got something that you lack

    You may think you’re the bomb,

    Shouting “Let’s get it on!”

    But the girls see right through all that smack.

    Avatar of athanas

    The funny thing about all of this

    The thing that started this shit

    I’m seated higher than you

    That fact split you in two

    And now you’ve got your knickers in a twist

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You may be right, I suppose, but alas

    I’ll take the high road and not be that crass

    I’ll make no imprications

    of sexual relations

    Trying to recruit a young lass

    Avatar of athanas

    Everything I do is balls to the wall

    You’ve gotta go big or go not at all

    What I must ask may sound awkward

    But I need to know if you’re a stalker

    What the hell were you doing in the next stall?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Sure, go relax; you will need your rest.

    This war is harsh; to that we’ll attest.

    But I’ll ask just once more

    Before you walk out the door

    Come to my side, for sure it’s the best!

    Laughing

    Avatar of athanas

    Never did I imply that my goal was physical

    You were the one who claimed my tainted jewels were admissible

    And now you try to play good guy

    When we all caught your lie

    Or are you hoping they forget with some sort of powers mystical?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’ve not lost my focus, you see.

    I’m marking my progress with glee

    Though this next hill is steep,

    My resolve’s just as deep.

    The number between us is now three.

    Avatar of athanas

    Again you have nothing with which to stand

    You may be right behind me, flying through the land

    But your place will be locked

    Utterly and totally blocked

    As in crack hits you’re down about a grand

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m ok; all my motives are pure.

    They require no tricks to infer.

    My goal, though it sounds funky,

    As a crack-wielding Junkie

    Is to serve my Dark Lord, Scott Sigler

    Avatar of BigJohn

    That thought doesn’t quite fill me with dread.

    I’m comforted by this one instead:

    In the two days just past,

    I’ve been moving up fast.

    How much, you may ask? 400.

    (yes, I rhymed a word with a number. MAD SKILLZ!)

    Avatar of athanas

    Ha! I laugh at you saying you’re pure of any kind

    When we all know that describes no one on this site

    We’re junkies to the core

    Which means we’re all whores

    But in Sigler’s name shall we all fight!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Since you shaved my accomplice last night,

    I’ve decided to get into the fight

    I won’t count on the help

    To handle you, whelp.

    Next time check on the stall to your right.

    Avatar of athanas

    While that be indeed be the case

    Concerning this great crack hit race

    I’ve been step for step from the start

    Of this grueling verbal march

    And we’re still holding almost the exact pace

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Yes, it’s true that right now we’re so close.

    But I obviously want it the most.

    I won’t take a break

    No sleep, coffee, or cake.

    Until I pass you in number of posts.

    Avatar of athanas

    Well that would be the urinal that you’re meaning

    And if that’s so then you had to be in the ceiling

    I reckon the act was something you recorded

    So in your activities you’d feel rewarded

    Just don’t put it on a site that others can view streaming.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Your confidence is something others could look up to

    And for guts, well I’ve got to give you your due

    But in brains you’re lacking

    Cause soon you’ll be packing

    Remember, quitting won’t affect how we look at you

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Oh, sure, jump on my fealty bandwagon

    Your pathetic attempts are quite laggin’

    “Me, too, FDO”

    “Let me be your ho!”

    Your effort, athanas, is just saggin’

    Avatar of athanas

    You’re the one who is misleading the horde

    When you claimed basic necessities as yours

    Saying you’re an FDO heathen

    Is like saying “hey, I’m the only one breathin’”

    Stating the obvious as your own just makes you come off sore

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The only thing I will quit is my job.

    And then hang out with this unruly mob.

    And then how would it be

    With everpresent me:

    The unemployed crack-hit lusting post snob?

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’ve a feeling when Sigler comes back

    He’ll see our bickering snipes and attack

    Put is both in a story

    Make our end be quite gory

    In the hopes of us shutting our yaps.

    Avatar of athanas

    Bad news for those who swing a hammer or drive a truck

    But for those who use a PC all day, they’re still in luck

    Cause they can keep tabs on you

    While they earn a paycheck too

    So should you quit? Can’t say I give a shuck.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I guess warning you now’s not unkind

    That for yanky your wanky you’ll find

    Do it at work way to often

    And you’re likely to soften

    In addition, you’re bound to go blind.

    Avatar of athanas

    I highly doubt individual quarrels are any of his worry

    Though his return I do hope is hurried

    And in the off chance that it’s true

    And he gives this the once through,

    SIG, WHAT NUMBER WAS DAWSEY’S JERSEY?!?!?!??!!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Someday new junkies you never knew

    Will all wonder what became of you.

    You’ll fall out of sight,

    And when asked of your plight?

    They’ll reply with an “Athanas Who?”

    Avatar of athanas

    One day I may be gone

    But my spirit will live on

    When Corpsman Josh Athanas saves the day

    And the Siglerwiki states the same

    Then mayhaps I shall live on as a god

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Vaney

    as the mumo00/Wallerdad thread. I can’t wait for the comments to degrade even more :D

    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of athanas

    but rhyming words is hard. :-p
    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    But I’m proud of some wicked limericks that were born from this foul game.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    from yesterday’s pompous circumstance?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    from yesterday’s pompous circumstance?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    this ain’t my first time to the dance.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    {licks lips}

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Gmork

    wow..it’s quiet in here. The quiet before the storm. Maybe I’ll leave some bananas and fake mustaches here on the floor and see if that gets the fight going again. emoticons
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    to restock supplies and set the game plans.

    Tomorrow it begins anew.

    **nabs a banana and walks out**

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    Too lazy to find the beginning of our convo, so I’ll just start a new post. :P Hear, hear! Friendly banter is awesome, both to watch and to partake in! Mostly to watch. With popcorn. And soda. And chips. And salsa. :D

    And no problem on not saying hi to me in Norman. I’ve had the dreads for about three years now, but it’s all good. :P I apologize for not saying hi, either.

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    There’s bananas and mustaches going to waste in this thread!

    Throw down the gloves!! *RING* *RING*
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    [flickr-photo:id=4368833803,size=m]

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Fake?! FAKE?!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Behaving is no fun!!!!!!!!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    All hail the FDO!

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    All hail the FDO!

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Eric Parker

    I’m assuming “pusher” is when you reach 3000 posts…does it mean anything more than that?

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    In the e-mail I was sent it says I get more access to stuff on the site, but I haven’t noticed what that is exactly, so I’m not sure. I reckon I’ll stumble my way into it eventually.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    cuz I haven’t noticed anything either…

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    your recent move to the one state where it’s ok to have sex with animals?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kevin Mest

    I hate that my workload at the office has up until now prevented me from seeing the train wreck that is this thread.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    LOL!!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    These reply boxes are now so ridiculously tiny. I deem it awesome!

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    a bit tight!!!! LOL!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    **a few hours after dawn. Mist still rises from the soft earth, dampened by the blood and tears of fallen warriors. A light rain falls as if the sky herself weeps over the carnage she has witnessed; sadly, she will see more yet to come. A crow glides by, searching for a corpse that still has eyes to pluck out. Failing in find one, he settles on the nearest pile of slowly rotting meat and begins to consume it’s dead flesh. In the middle of it all, a lone man stands, covered in blood and filth, eyes burning with the fires of hell. He leans on a broadsword, equally as befouled as its master. He gazes into the fog, ears open to the slightest sound, eyes quick to catch te slightest movement. He slowly smiles as he throws his head back to the heavens and cries**

    Big JOOOOOOOOooohn……Come out to plaaaaaay-yaaaay….

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    With a crack of thunder and a flash of ligthning, the fearsome warrior appears. Their eyes lock across the battlefield. Breath coming both easy and even, he cannot keep his heart from pounding in excitement at the coming battle. Rolling the handle of his powerful ax in his meaty hands, he unknowingly casts blood and gore from the dual blades of the frightening instrument. Eyes narrow, focusing only on the mortal enemy before him. WIth a primal scream of rage, he charges forth, bounding over fallen bodies, his irresistable force rushing towards the immovable object. With mere feet separating them, he stops and points his ax at his noble foe.

    “Athanas!” he cries!

    Moving his thumbs to his ears, waving the fingers at the man before him, he lets loose a raspberry most foul and lengthy.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I could have sworn there was a worthy opponent here. I guess Mr. Pusher is too big for prime time now! Doesn’t bother me any, though. I’ll continue to rant and rave, defiling his name and spitting poisonous vitriol his way. All the better that he isn’t here to defend himself! He would cower, bend and break under the overwhelming onslaught of my awesomosity! But still, it’s fun to banter back and forth. He was a worthy sparring partner, to be sure. A former heavyweight, on his way down and out, replaced by the Rookie.

    He is the Don Pine to my Quentin Barnes. There’s no shame in it. I beg our many spectators to not hold his disparticipation against him. I’m sure his new Pusher duties will keep him busy and far, far removed from any actual participation.

    Still, it was fun while it lasted.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    **the crow, none too happy with music during its meal, flutters off, reminding itself to write a letter of complaint to the management of the battlefield. Muscles draw taunt as Athanas raises his sword, the deadly tip pointed towards his adversary**

    “So, you’ve come at last.” **he pays no attention to the snickering Big John’s “That’s what she said!” retort.** “Come to meet the same demise as those who you’ve sent before you.” **Big John only smiles**

    “You are to be commended; most others would run in terror at the inhumanity that is about to come.”

    **Athanas rushes, his sword raised high over his head. Big John drops a step back, planting his weight and readying for the onslaught. A moment before impact, Athanas reaches into his pack, bringing what will be their tool of death. He slams a copy of Clue, Jr. to the ground.**

    “I’m Mortimer Mustard, bitch!”

    **he lowers himself to the ground and readies the boardgame**

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    ‘specially during a bank audit.

    Seeing as how you’re such a glutton for untold amounts of damage and punishment, how could I look at myself in the mirror every morning knowing I didn’t do everything I could to break your back, will, and spirit? It would be inhumane, I tellz ya!

    I do agree that my spot is not as secure as it once was and I won’t be where I’m at for much longer.

    I’ll be better. Higher! Closing in page 1 and increasing the gap between us. Soon, it will matter little what you do as your cries and insults will be from too far below me to hear.


    At that point, you’ll be relegated to the crazy old guy on the street who’s convinced he’s rambling with god when all those around him know it’s just the fact that his last 15 meals were MD 20/20 and paint fumes.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    But do not – I warn you – DO NOT - speak ill of the Mad Dog. She’s a harsh mistress, but she always keeps you warm. ALWAYS, I say!

    Work? But this is full-time work, this punishing hanrangue. I’m devoted body and soul (just not so much on weekends) to your downfall, good sir. If you can’t balance your priorities, it’s time to retire. Oh sure, you can go hide on Page 1 if you want; but there’s no where to go once you’re there – you can’t continue to hide from me. You’ll still be scrabbling for purchase on the backs of the junkies well-established, while I rake their backs with my fearsome talons and/or uncut toenails.

    Already you concede your spot is not as secure as it once was. There’s no shame in it. You should be commended for having the fortitude to step aside, to make way for progress. I promise I shan’t step on your toes as I pass you by.

    The higher you go, the faller you fall. And I’ll be here, below, to watch you pass through my arms as i try, half-assed to catch the fallen former child star. Oopsie, my bad. Sorry about that!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Shocked, BigJohn steps back, reeling from the assualt on his senses. Mortimer Mustard? Who would ever have thought?! The last time BigJohn had seen Mortimer Mustard, he had been fighting off the syphillitic whore-hoards at the battle of Chlamydia, 15 years ago. He had thought there was no way Athanas would survive that bitter feud, that gruesome battle, with his arms, legs and pecker attached and still functioning without a weeping drip.

    Clearly, Athanas was more formidable than BigJohn had estimated. But Athanas’ age and countless battles announced themselves in his slight limp; his arm not raised as high as it once was. Scars decorated his body, but BigJohn could see Athanas wore them with pride. Needlmarks pocked his exposed elbows. His Crack Fu was mighty, indeed.

    Recovering his senses, BigJohn shook his head, and looked down at the pitiable man before him. Athanas had lost something in that battle, that was certain. But this was no time for sympathy; the battle called to be fought, and he was here to answer.

    Removing his helmet, and tossing his copius locks about, BigJohn sat at the other side of the board, while Athanas shuffled the deck.

    “Good to see you again, Plum, my ancient enemy. There’ll be no sneaking about in secret passages THIS time, I assure you.” Athanas smiled an evil smile then, looking at BigJohn through his rheumy eyes. Never taking his eyes off of BigJohn, Athanas reached into his pack and pulled out a noose. He wrapped the ends around his hands, twisting them so they made a sound not unlike the someone trying to pull the one-cheek sneak on a leather couch.

    BigJohn blinked. He reached into his own pack, and pulled out a golden candlestick. It was heavy in his hand; he bounced it, feeling its heft. He could easily reach across and thump Athanas in the head, ending this once and for all. But that was not how the Brothers Parker had trained them. This battle was fought as much in the mind as on the board. Setting the candlestick aside, he readied himself for the game.

    Avatar of athanas

    “No, Douchejack, that’s not my name. **the noble champion removed his helmet** I’m claiming that character on the game board. Were this to be Monopoly and I belted out “I’m the shoe!!”, would I be subjected to a lengthy diatribe about how I’m your lost sock from years ago?” **Athanas again fights his urge to acknowledge the “that’s what she said” quip.**

    “And there’s no Mr. Body in this one…too violent for the 5 year old crowd. Clue Jr. is about finding a missing pet, and in this case…

    **he stands, eyes burning a hole through his opponent**

    “I’m sure YOU took the gerbil and it’s presently still in your ass!!!!!!!1111one”

    **Victorious in his massive pwnage, Athanas swipes the board clean with a series of stomps, realizing it’s been at least 20 years since he played the original and totally forgot how to play, thus making this line of gameplay not very viable. Fuck you anyway, he still says**

    **now, much like a real life Daffy Duck, he hoots and hollers as he bounces around the ground, heading off towards the woods**

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    On the subject of, anyone ever had a 40 of Crazy Stallion? Bar none, hands down, the greatest malt liquor ever. But I digress.

    Yes, this is also a full time occupation, but I’m not getting paid for it, and when rent is due and the animals are eyeballing me with a salivating glare, I’ve decided that making sure the thing that provides cash is the one that comes first at times so I’m not a half eaten corpse thrown out on my arse at the end of the month.

    Actually, there will be no hiding. In fact, I’ll be one of the first few people out of almost 7,000 that people will see. What will they think? Is this man a living deity? Does he like pork sausage? I bet $20 he’s hung like a moose. THAT’S what the masses will say.
    When they finally stumble to your place in line, all they’ll say is “who”?, and I’ll be content with that.

    Again your wino hallucinations cause you to misinterpret what it is I really mean. My current spot is indeed going to be lost soon, but it will be filled by the body of someone who’ve I’ve overtaken. Remember those 12 you were circle-jerking about last week? Yeah, it’s just my turn to do the same, moving up to the east side, finally getting that piece of the pie. And 1st page accolades. You? Still got awhile to go, junior. Best get cracking.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Clearly, the syphillis has made its way to his brain, as he’s forgotten everything he ever knew about his former life. BigJohn realized he should have clued in to the fact that Athanas was playing kids games in this man’s battle; pity poor Athanas.

    With a heavy sigh, BigJohn picks up his helm, replaces it on his head and trots off after the lunatic despot.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’ve still got some surprises up my sleeve. The latest of which is that King Cobra was my 40-oz Malt Liquor of choice. HA! Bet you didn’t see that coming!

    I’m not concerned at all about your momentary shifting from page 2 to page 1; as I said, once I’ve moved, there’ll be no where left for you to hide in plain sight. You can bluster all you want, but the chewing on your heels will continue until the ragged flesh falls off. I’m not that far behind, you know. And your climb is steeper and steeper.

    Rather than staring at the athanas hole you leave behind, the gathered masses will be impressed with the rocket speed at which I relentlessly pursue. They’ll marvel at my staying power; my unimpeachable constitution; the fevered frenzy at which I pursue and devour whatever is in my path.

    You are in my path, athanas. You get a stay of execution at best. At worst, you’ll be overcome, chewed up, and shat out on to the lower rung. Either is ok with me, though I’d just as soon avoid having to digest your stringy white meat. Lord, man, can’t you get a tan up there in the Rockies? Are you often confused for an albino vampire? Maybe the snow is the best place for you to hide your lily white hide, where natural predators can’t see you.

    Stand very still, and maybe the hurt will pass you by. Maybe.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    **the woods quickly grow dark, the heavy vegetation blotting out the soon almost as soon as you enter. His ruse working, Athanas steadies himself, now shirtless and covered in mud to block Big John’s thermal vision. Now, the mass of death he sees will only show as a pile of ferns….until his knife blade is 8 inches into his heart.

    Hiding amongst a cluster of sharpened branches he tries to breathe as noiselessly as possible, like those new air filters that are supposed to kick the shit out of pet dander, smoke, and dust mites that you see advertised on TV anytime after 3:30 a.m. Anybody? Really, just me? Okay, then…**

    **His plan was now in full effect. His “noble” opponent would think his mind gone, reduced to nothing more than a shell after the great VD Wars, but it was as sharp as ever…just with a little more VD. The maze of traps in the forest were a testament to his sanity.**

    **But was he sane? Does a sane man torture others for their own amusement? Sure, Pongo did, but he was a chimp, but that meant he was less evolved than him. Athanas contemplating pooing in his hand, but thought better of it as he heard Big John enter the forest**

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Insignificant Blood Splatter

    (Love that movie!) That means this should be good… :D

    “Urban legends go well with parmesan and horror. In fact their name is conveniently one and the same: Stevie.” {UNdead GirlCo Knight for Sigler}

    Avatar of athanas

    Never liked King Cobra myself; too much like piss (or how I would imagine piss would taste). Knowing that, it does seem to suit you, though. :-p

    Hiding in plain sight is one of the greatest things to do. It’ll taunt you, torment you, rip your insides asunder to have to look at your standings every day and still see that you’re behind me, now, always, and forever. That thought alone is what lets me sleep easy at night.

    Wow…now you’re getting creepy. My ass was one thing, but now admitting you’re staring at my “hole”…well…maybe you need to have a conversation with your wife about which side of the plate you bat from.

    My eastern European ancestors sealed my fate generations ago that I was going to be a neon white glow in the dark white boy. The plus side is I never needed a night light as a kid as I naturally lit up the room. Prolly means I’m of lighter, healthier meat, too. I have no problems with this and am content now realizing you’ve just outed yourself as a racist. Carry on, Adolph.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    [flickr-photo:id=4382508207,size=m]

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Big John carefully worked his way into the forest, trying to figure where Athanas may have gone. Seeing a shirt on the ground, Big John feared for the dementia of the half-naked man leaping about in the dense foliage.

    “Best be careful,” Big John thought to himself. He tried to listen to the sounds of the forest; but some damn air compressor was just too loud to ignore. He’d heard that noise before. The wheeze of the infected. Suddenly aware of how vulnerable he was, Big John moved noiselessly to a sheltered canopy overstretching a log, felled by nature’s hand long ago.

    Battle urged him on. But nature cannot be denied. Best to release the hounds before the impending carnage. Spying an innocuous pile of ferns, Big John looked around, prepping to relieve himself before moving on towards conquest.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I didn’t say I was staring at the hole you’ve vacated – everyone ELSE will. That kind of perv, I am not. I’m a completely different kind of perv. The good kind. The kind that has a library card and buys girl scout cookies and orders flan at burger king.

    And the last thing I am is a racist. I will hate, despise, hunt and terminate you with out regard to the lack of color of your skin, nor the look of mercy in your eye. My vengeance is not beholden to any weird fascist, racist, leftist agenda; it’s my own weird, demented, confused agenda. And I’ll not share it with you, even if you trade me your pudding!

    Racist pervert? Is that the best you can muster? Are you really just proving you’re more of an addict than I am? I’m going to hop on the next flight out to your high-altitude haven and kick you in the kneecap. Then I’ll piss in a bottle and sell it as Coors, giving all the proceeds to the nursing home that your antiquated, brittle-boned ramshackle husk of a withered body will turn to dust in when I pass you by. You keep thinking you’re safe up there in your ivory tower (yes, that’s another “white” reference – you got a better way to say it?) but the pain and the hurt are coming.

    Now is the winter of your discontent and all that literary crap. A shitstorm is coming, and not the kind you can just flush away. This blistering pace with which I’m burning through my crack hits fuels me in my insane quest to Taz you to a broken, bruised, twisted heap of damaged meat. It didn’t have to be this way, but you bring this on yourself.

    Don’t worry, though, as soon as you’re a distant memory I’ll be sure to come back and taunt you yet again, but from a slightly different angle. You’ll always be wondering where I’m coming from, what I’ve got in store for you, and how much I paid for it, and whether that was a really good coupon price, or did I just luck into some really great sale that happened to be going on while I was shopping for something totally unrelated but just as necessary for my continued existence. Always. ALWAYS!

    Yours in impending doom,

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    “MOTHER BITCH!!!” **Athanas screamed as a stream of King Cobra (he hoped) started to flow down on him. He sprung to his feet, lashing out at his would-be pisser but sadly slipped in the ever growing pool of mud and urine. Biting it hard, his world swam for what seemed like minutes until he began to come to, feeling that someone was writing the name “Big John” across his back in liquid. Yup, better be malt liquor…**

    **Clambering to his feet, he made a beeline through the woods, careful to miss the reminders he’d set for himself that denoted where a trap lie; at the last moment we decided against signs spelling out “Caution: Trap” and went for a more cerebral approach that he will not reveal here so Big John can use it against him. Besides, he had a main pin to get to, and if he pulled it, the whole world was coming down.**

    **Running by a tree, he kicked at a peg, letting lose a series of ropes and pulleys attached to the tops of bent trees, allowing the great branches to fling all matter of debris in every which direction, filling the forest with the sounds of chaos, giving John no clue as to what was decoy and what was his opponent.**

    “Please, Pongo,” Athanas breathed, “please tell me you got Gate 3 open….”

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Whoa, whoa, whoa…you’re telling me you can get flan at Burger King now? Wow….but do their onion rings still suck? I literally go there maybe 3 times a year, so this is coming as quite a shock to me. And by the way, John Wayne Gacy was a clown at kid’s parties…just putting that out there, Mr. Normal Pervert.

    Oh, so you’re discriminatory based on your own perceived agenda to those who you feel have wronged you. I’m trying to figure out how that gets you out of cross burning mentality, Rudolph Hess.

    So this is the part of the argument where you just combine the last two statements into some sort of super third paragraph statement. Yes, we know you’re a “clean” pervert and you’re “not” a racist, do we really need an entire third paragraph broken up into such a way to make those with lower IQ think you’re coming up with more bullet points when you’re just rehashing everything? Stay the course, good sir, I’m sure it’ll win you office for two terms.

    Ivory Tower: any other way to put it? Yeah, how about a 3 bedroom townhome I’m renting from a fellow junkie, George Wallace? Do you use the charred remains of blown up churches to light your cigars, too? Fascist.

    And on the subject of urine, you could probably get higher taste test approval by actually giving people piss over Coors. That’s one step above pig bile in my eyes and just because I live in Denver doesn’t mean I rock the local mentality (for further proof: Fuck the Broncos…but not too loudly as some will lynch you for saying such a thing around here).

    Spinning furball Taz, go ahead and spin out of control. I’ll go with former FTW and ECW World Champion Taz (the Human Suplexing Machine) and suplex the unholy hell out of you from whichever angle you come from (Judo is great for coming up with whacky ass throws) so feel free to get creative. Not only does it make for an exciting finish in the eyes of others when you’re slammed through the concrete al a the end of The Matrix: Revolutions, it keeps me on my toes for actual challengers coming down the pipe. You sir, are nothing more than a tune up fight for what will be heralded as the defining ass kicker of ass kickers. If you’re lucky, this will be included on my greatest his DVD set (soon to be available at Amazon.com, until then, you can get it out of the trunk of my car).

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Rehash item #1 (include mindless retort)

    Rehash item #2 (include increasingly obscure references here)

    Re-rehash Items 1 & 2 here. Lather, rinse, repeat.

    Insult his age.

    Insult his mind.

    Insult his beer.

    More esoteric rambling, then some clever, yet formidable conclusion.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You didn’t see that! Nothing to see here!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Big John jumped in surprise when the forest squealed and scrambled to escape the mighty torrent of former ale. Was that…it was! The sneaky Athanas had been laying in wait the entire time. Big John marveled at the man’s discipline, secretly thankful that Athanas had not struck when Big John was so vulnerable.

    Athanas ran off, but Big John could not pursue until nature’s call had been answered. Nature had called, and it had called hard. Real hard. By the time Big John had reaffixed his breeches, he had no idea where Athanas had gone. But he headed off in the last sighted direction anyway.

    Something caught his eye on the ground. It was a sign, with large letters, written in heavy-handed red crayon. “NOT A TRAP!” it read, and had an arrow drawn pointing to the right. The words had been scratched out, scribbled over in blue, but they were still legible. The R was backwards, as though the sign had been pilfered from Toys ‘r’ us, or written by a simple-minded child. Unfortunately, the sign had been discarded and lay unoriented; Big John had no way to know which direction the “Non-Trap” was.

    Suddenly, the forest was alive with whipping, whirling, whistling noise! All around him, trees swayed and bent, casting debris, monkeys, small animals, and Rupert Murdoch this way and that! A cacophany of shrieks and – yes, there – in the distance, the maniacal giggling of a truly inspired craftsman. Even if he did smell like piss. Seriously, Big John surely had given him the opportunity to get out of the way before he had begun relieving himself, yet Athanas hadn’t taken the opportunity to move? What’s with that? That’s some fucked-up shit right there.

    A large bang rang out, and the forest whooped and wailed for a few more moments, freezing Big John in his tracks. He was held by a feeling of a house of cards falling all around him. Fearful to move until there was no more sound, Big John waited with the patience of a DMV employee for the noise to abate. When it finally quieted down, Big John moved carefully from tree to tree, heading in the direction from which he had heard the crazed laughter.

    Suddenly, movement caught his eye! He swung his axe around in front of him, ready for whatever foe he would encounter. There, against a tree not 20 feet in front of him: Pongo. His shotgun no where to be seen, but clutching something in his hand. Big John approached the diminutive simian; its diaper was in need of a change, but it wouldn’t be necessary. Clearly, Pongo had been thrown about from one tree and landed hard; his head was twisted around looking behind him, while his body twitched facing the other direction.

    “Jesus,” thought Big John. “It’s like Fayed all over again.” Big John bent and looked at the paper in Pongo’s hand. It had a big X written on it in the same exaggerated red crayon. under the X read “Gayt Thre. 2 oclock.” Big John checked his watch. It was 1:55. Whatever it was Pongo was supposed to do at Gate Three at 2 o’clock, he was going to be late.

    Dead late.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    wait a good gosh darn minute!!!!!

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Tune in next week for another exciting installment of “Dork Wars”.
    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    The calendar speaks
    Now we battle with haiku

    Let the good times roll
    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    ’cause minions of an evil mastermind are themselves evil.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    But will always be that much cooler to me as there were some…shall we say…”right of passage” events that happened when watching it one day with a lady friend of mine several years back.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    This thread is just EPIC! Flame on!!!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Everyone knows junkies can wait for the next installment!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The styles are many

    But the combatants are few

    today: it’s haiku

    BigJohn

    (hey, I rhymed one!)

    Avatar of BigJohn

    That’s like getting busy to Shrek!

    Par for YOUR course, I guess. :P

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The circle of life.

    The cycle of violence.

    The bloodshed resumes.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    There is no malice

    Instead I laugh at those who
    Wait for more story

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Attention Junkies!

    Athanas said that I won!

    (He’ll lie in public)

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Comprehension Skills
    A trait you severely lack

    Making things up now?
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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Sigh…I knew he’d forget

    We met for some beers last night

    He said he’d resign.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    You’re delusional

    Last night was the debacle
    Of flaming cat pee

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Your dinner ruined

    You called me; we met for beers.

    Guess you’re a lightweight.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I tolerate drink
    To levels that kill most men
    You, sir, are confused

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    Denial is not
    Just a river in Eygpt
    Give in athanas Tongue out
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    If that’s so true, sir

    Where is your video clip

    Of all your beers drunk?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    If I gave in, dear,
    Then there goes your epic thread
    Think this over now

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    If boobs would let beer,

    I would never leave the house.

    I’m just sayin’, is all.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Ignore this here post
    I replied to the wrong thing
    Maybe I’m drunk now

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Own no camera
    Plus, my pants tend to come off
    When epic drinking

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Those are great reasons.

    We should do a Century

    via chat one day.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I’d be down with this
    Just can’t do it this weekend
    Helping move and lax

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    Your logic…it stings
    Please don’t stop your epic fight
    The abuse brings joy
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    Take a good look, John
    She understands things quicker
    She accepts the truth

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You can’t blame her though,

    She can’t let those melons get

    Caught in the crossfire

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    For my two fifty

    I did a Power Hour

    With Guinness. You in?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Do just an hour?
    Or a full hundred minutes?
    Either way, I’m down.

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I can’t fault her that
    Boobs are to be protected
    They’re the greatest things

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Though we argue some,

    It’s nice to know that on boobs

    We both can agree.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I wanted to check

    If you had an objection

    To using Guinness

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I try to enjoy
    The taste of Guinness, but am
    down with shooting it

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Hold it! We’re being
    Too nice to each other now.
    Fuck you with a wrench!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Well, it’s just as good

    Whether it’s bottles or shots

    We’ll do it in chat!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Fuck you, athanas

    Blah blah blah you’re going down!

    (That’s for the masses)

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    There are other ways?
    Not just a shot a minute?
    Enlighten me, please.
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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Measuring contest:
    Guess who has breached the first page?
    It sure ain’t you. BOOSH!

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    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The century is

    A power hour on crack

    But both are with shots

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Guinness is yummy

    Whether in bottles or shots

    You can enjoy it

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I never said that

    I would reach it first, you goon.

    Go ahead – relax.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    It’s quality beer

    Much better than commercial

    U.S. swill like Bud.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Constantly on point

    My guard is never let down

    Even when I poop

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    At the Century

    Make sure you’re not too far from

    Some sort of toilet

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    That’s against the rules

    No peeing until you’re done

    No puking, either

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Who made up that rule?

    I’ve not heard of such a thing

    I see a problem.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    the time I tried to take a bong rip every time they said “God” in an episode of Veggie Tales.
    I had to call it quits by the time the silly song rolled around, and I was still like 8 or 9 behind. That was just brutal.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I read it somewhere
    When I first heard of the game
    We shouldn’t use it

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    It is nice to know

    That in the dark and despair

    Boobs bring peace to all
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    They agree with me.

    It sounds too dangerous, too.

    But who will pee first?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    You can pound away for awhile but every now and then it’s best to tease so the anticipation is built and the eventual returned to pounding is that much more enjoyable.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Anyone else need a cigarette?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    The fellowship of beer is now done

    To that, well we’ve surely had fun

    Now it’s back to the fists

    To bring an end to this

    To see who has finally won

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Yes, the beer game’s a welcome distraction

    But it’s now time to step up the action.

    The Century will be fun

    But when all’s said and done

    I’m still slinging your ass in traction.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    The drinking game will indeed be most grand

    It shall be attended by many across this land

    It means I’ll beat you on two fronts

    Both of them crazy ass stunts

    And all who follow will know I’m the man.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I feel the first of the battles should be

    Who can go longest without having to pee.

    The idea seems quite grand

    But on the other hand

    I’ve a feeling it’s going to be me.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Much like a prop bet, I’ll give this a whirl

    To see who’s bladder first must unfurl

    But I have a saying of words

    Those who drink with me have heard

    “Hung like moose, bladder like squirrel”.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    it’s a gift. Tongue out

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The honor system will have to do

    You can’t see me and I cannot see you.

    Can I trust you in this?

    Will you announce your piss?

    Rest assured, my own honor is true.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I hold honesty in high esteem

    If I say something, it’s exactly what it means

    I promise hard to fight

    But I’ll do it right

    Lie in a drinking contest? I would never so blaspheme.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You do seem like a man I can trust

    And though these past few days we have fussed,

    It’s your ass I will kick

    off your high horse of crack hits

    Leaving you flat on your back and nonplussed.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    A monkey with a shotgun is someone you can trust

    Their word is their bond and it will never go bust

    But a pirate makes me ask

    If they’ll stay on to their task

    Or just shoot me in the back with their blunderbuss

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    To my unworthy opponent Athanas

    (whom I will in-ev-it-a-bly pass)

    Scroll back and you’ll see

    Limericks are for me

    The equivalent of lyrical whupass.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Blah blah blah is all I hear from you

    Always the same and nothing ever new

    You’re stalling for time

    Victory shall be mine

    When I own your ass at beer drinking, too.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Holy shit, you’re so fucking unstable!

    You think drinking’s something you are able

    To do better than me?

    Tune in Tuesday, you’ll see

    When I drink your ass under the table.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Sanity is not a cross that I bare

    Rationale something I’ve never dared

    But I’m a mile high

    As is my tolerance, no lie

    I’ll still be drinking after you pass out in your chair

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    There’s a pillow for you on the floor

    I just hope you’re not loud when you snore.

    It’s there under the table

    There’s no hay in your stable

    I’ll out drink any fucking crack whore

    There’s one thing that you don’t understand

    Ireland cast me out from their land

    All their poor Guinness kegs

    I just drained to their dregs

    “The Big John Drought” not one mickey could stand

    When it comes to the Black, you will see

    No one drinks it as quickly as me

    To me Guinness is water

    Come here, lamb, to my slaughter

    What will happen you’ll hardly believe.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It’s my last limerick today, I fear

    Cuz I’m getting the fuck out of here.

    The day totally sucked

    And I don’t give a fuck

    So I’m going to go have a beer.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    olive branch for the day?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Sounds good.

    BigJohn
    _________________________________________________
    Lacking in signature details and group memberships

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Gettin’ warmed up for tomorrow…

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    cause everyone gets to (maybe) find out what happens at Gate 3.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    for BigJohn and athanas…Mama said knock you out!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of Gmork

    *jab* *instigate*
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    **high above the forest, in a wicker basket barely big enough to hold him, he watched the chaos that unfolded below. Athanas was nuts, this is true, but he always had a plan, like the main villain for a superhero who dressed like a flying squirrel. Sure, you look at him and think he’s pathetic and docile, maybe even the right guy to hire for your kid’s birthday party, but when the shit hits the fan, you’re getting a pencil to the eye.

    The shadowy figure reached up, igniting the tiny balloons burner and rose, catching a thermal draft that was propelling him towards the end of the forest. There was a showdown coming, and he had to be in place to do his job.

    Right now, they held all the cards. The Pongo-bot G7-K 9000 had done its job; Big John would think he was no more and that Athanas’ greatest ally was out of the game. The job done at Gate 3, Pongo could only provide minimal air support if it was needed. Attached to the perimeter of the basket were several bags of poo. He wished he could claim them as his own, but one night of Hot Pockets and cabbage binging had shown that Athanas could indeed shit like a primate. Pongo had to respect him for that.
    He lit a cigarette and scratched at stubbly chin growth. He’d wanted to kill Athanas for the indignation of the shave down, but a blood oath is a blood oath, and he would never turn on his master. He was a chimp, for christsakes, not a filthy human.**

    _________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn stared down at the shattered body of Pongo, shaking his head in sadness. Silently cursing vile athanas for his mindless corruption of the innocent, he closed his eyes and promised a bloody end to his madness. With a heavy intake of breath, he raised his head and opened his eyes. Just like in the beginning of the Incredible Hulk, when Bill Bixby raises his head just in time for the freeze-frame where he splits with Lou Ferrigno. You know? You remember? Anyone? >sigh<

    AT ANY RATE, his eyes caught movement on the tree. What the sauce? At first, something appeared to be moving across the tree, but BigJohn’s laser-sharp intuition helped him come to the conclusion that it was a shadow. Striking an impressive defensive posture, he spun around, looking for the source of the shadow. Eyes skyward, he spotted what appeared to be a gigantic Hello Kitty hot air balloon. The gigantic cat might appear cute, if the basket had not been situated so as to appear from the ground that the inflated feline had an enormous dangling dingleberry.

    Recognition set in. “Athanas,” BigJohn said under his breath. It really was a striking resemblance. BigJohn couldn’t tell where the balloon was going. Perhaps towards Gate 3? He had to find out. He had to be wary of the trap, but he’d make his way to the foul villain and show him what for. Maybe even what five.

    Pulling his cloak about him in a dramatic fashion that was viewed by absolutely no one, BigJohn skulked off into the forest.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Just cuz you’re working from home, don’t think we can’t reach out and poke you back!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Gmork

    Who me? I’m just an innocent observer here…I was trying to get the fight started back up but I realized after I posted that you probably weren’t even awake yet!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I thought I felt someone poking me while I was sleeping!

    (Figured I was just snoring again)

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    **yeah, I totally remember that. And that sad walking away music as he was thumbing a ride at the end? Heartbreaking. Remember when Bixby hosted those Is Elvis Really Dead themed shows? Those were kinda funny. Now they’re both dead in an ironic, sad, twist of fate. Ferrigno’s still going strong, though.
    Wait…I mean, your mother smells!!!!**

    **Gate 3 wasn’t much of what you would call a gate, especially in the middle of the forest, and especially when that part of the forest opened up to a lush meadow that was prime for knocking off the mother of a small, animated deer. It was literally two posts and a swinging cattle guard, held together with still hardening JB Weld and bailing wire. Along the length of the meadow were large, orange road cones (you know the ones, not as low as knee level but the ones that would probably clip the bottom of your scrotum if you walked over one). Behind the gate was a duck blind, one quite efficient when used for duck hunting, but a little out of place in an environment more suited for deer and/or elk.**

    **inside the blind, Athanas caught his breath. Sporting nipples that could slice bread, he made the decision that damn BJ’s thermovision, he was at least going to wear a makeshift Punisher tactical vest. It looks cool, sure, but the AirSoft logo on the side told a story that if one were to try to stop actual lead, one would not be around to sport said vest to the Halloween party next year. Still, it allowed his upper body to hold in enough warmth that chaffage was not an issue.**

    “Pongo!” he yelled into his official Dick Tracy two-way wrist communicator. He was greeted with the sound of inane monkey babble.

    “yes, the DVR is set, we’re good there. What do you see? Is he coming?” More babble, followed by an almost humanly audibled “gay cape” comment. Both Athanas and Pongo giggled.

    “Lead him here, my simian friend. The final battle draws nigh….”

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    BigJohn followed quickly, yet quietly, through the woods. High above, athanas’ visage in effigy stared down at him with his one dark eye. For what seemed hours, he had been following the floating abomination in its mindless wandering, hoping it would lead him to his prey.

    After the first hour, he came upon what could only be Gate 1. Not so much a gate, really, just two straw posts and a swinging cattle guard, held together with still hardening JB Weld and bailing wire. And a drive-through window. After another half hour of torture, the attending drive-through employee had betrayed nothing of his evil master athanas’ plans nor whereabouts. BigJohn left with no more information than he had arrived with, but he did have a small hamburger, onion rings and a cherry pi-HEY! Where’s my fucking cherry pie? DAMN it! I swear, it’s even on the fucking receipt. Do these guys even NEED to have a brain to work at these places? If I didn’t need to get to Gate 3, I’d go back and…dammit! This is how they get you. They know you don’t have time to come back. Fuckers.

    BigJohn groused and grumbled, but ate his fucking hamburger and his fucking onion rings and boy wouldn’t a fucking cherry pie by nice right about now? BigJohn swore to file a complaint with athanas right before he killed the man. Athanas may be many things, but he’s a man of pride, and BigJohn really didn’t think that kind of poor customer service was something athanas would abide.

    Shuffling through the forest once again after locating the balloon once more, BigJohn came upon another clearning. It seemed somehow…familiar. There were two wooden posts this time, and a swinging cattle guard, held together with still hardening JB Weld and bailing wire. It was clearly marked Gate 2, but above the gate was a sign painted in bright red letters: NO ENTRY. Seriously? No entry? Where the fuck am I supposed to go? There’s no other gate around! Big John, flustered beyond reproach, walked through the gate, but found his way blocked by a sternly-placed red velvet rope hanging between two gold posts. Raising his fist to the heavens, he threw his head back. “DAMN YOU ATHANAS! DAMN YOU TO HELL!” then turned and continued through the woods.

    After a mere 6 hours of following that stupid cat balloon, with its gross dingleberry, and its ceaseless course correction, BigJohn finally arrived at what must be Gate 3. He saw a clearing, and – was that a dead deer? – two brick posts and a swinging cattle guard, held together with still hardening JB Weld and bailing wire. Tossing his garbage in the clearly marked trash can, he approached the gate. What foul annoyance would THIS gate bring?

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    **the calm of the bright wintery but kinda autumny day was ripped by the sound of snoring. Inside his cleverly devised hiding place (cause he’s not expecting a duck blind, right? So if he SEES one, there’s no way he’ll think “hey, there’s the guy I need to bootfuck with a steel-capped toe”, thus giving him the advantage) Athanas had fallen asleep. Nestled in his SpongeBob sleeping bag, holding on to a plush dog (with a collar that read “Mr. Bark Woofins”) that was fetching him good dreams, our hero gathered his strength for the final showdown.**

    **He smiled as he dreamed, imagining the frustration that Big John must have gone through at Gate 1. Mitch was but a pawn in this game and as he had no aspirations to better himself at life other than working fast food and smoking copious amounts of weed (also while working,) Athanas slept easily (obviously) over the fate the poor boy must have endured. But since the details of the plan were told to Mitch only when he was as high as a giraffe’s vagina, Athanas was sure that his “…huh, what?” response to “get all that?” meant the boy forgot it the second the sound waves entered his ear canal. Still, one thing he could do was make solid onion rings and constantly fuck up the simplest of orders. In fact, it was his forgetting the jalapeno poppers in his last order that resolved Athanas to offer the boy up to the slaughter. In the back of his mind, Athanas hoped John made it hurt.**

    **Gate 2 was genius. Who here would dare challenge the awesome blocking power of a velvet rope? It was used to keep movie goers in line as well as protect some of the finest pieces of art mankind has ever seen. Verily, velvet ropes were the shit.**

    **If he was able to get past *zzzzt* that challenge, (though no mere mortal ever *zzzzt* has), then Pongo was supposed to sound the *zzzzt* alarm that he was on his *zzzzt* SWEET DANCING CHRIST FUCKING BUDDA IN A GRASS, HUT, WHAT IS THAT NOISE?!?!**

    **Driven from the realm where he’s a Viking, Athanas slowly opened his eyes.**

    *zzzzt!*

    **Dammit, it’s in this world, too. But now, it was followed by inane monkey babble. Alarm shot through Athanas as he realized it was coming from his two way wrist communicator, alerting him from his Primate Eye in the Sky that Big John was making his way to Gate 3 post haste.**

    **he kissed Mr. Bark Woofins on the top of his head**

    “This is no place for you, puppy.” He stuffed the plush toy into the sleeping back and pushed it to the corner of the duck blind. He took a moment to focus his energy to prepare for the final showdown. High above, Pongo awaiting instruction.

    **Athanas placed the plastic call to his lips, the sound of which would lure Big John to his demise**

    “Aye, Laddy, pint ov Guinness for ye, then? Aye, Laddy, pint ov Guinness for ye, then?”

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    There’s a giraffe’s vagina in my box!!!!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    I stole that line from Joe Rogan.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    (This is the setup for the Virtual Bar Fight, yes? We’re continuing this tonight – maybe not in narrative, but surely with ample invective?)

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    i figure this sets it all up nicely.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Or this is just going to be embarassing.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    I’m just going to busy myself letting the world know what kind of knobpolisher you are.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    you’ll get what you get and like it!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    Now you’re starting to sound like the FDO Laughing
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of Gmork

    He definitely didn’t call you any names…I was thinking ore of the message…the whole “you get it when you get it” themeWink
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    Like “darling”, or “sweetie”, or “boo-boo kitty fuck”.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    is that from? I know I’ve heard that before.

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Athanas said it just, like, yesterday.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Seriously, isn’t it from a movie or something?

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I knew I heard it somewhere. I had a feeling it was from a Jay & Silent Bob movie but I thought it was Dogma. Great movie, BTW!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    There was a new junkie named BigJohn
    Who battled athanas the moron
    With the Century Club
    A winner we’d dub
    But Kali just kept all her clothes on.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Gmork

    I love this retort, exotiKali!! Hooray!!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    Whoop his ass!!!!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I know all about a “big tip”. >:-)

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    You and I, strip it off like two whores?

    Is that what awaits us behind these green doors?

    ‘Til we go there, my sweet,

    You’ll just dream of my cheek;

    I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Gmork

    …a dare. Or lyrics to a really awesome song. I can’t tell which!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    While others may whine just a tad,

    I find this tawdry affair makes me glad.

    They gang up on me now

    I’ll survive (not sure how,

    But a gangbang does not sound so bad!)

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Ok, Kali, I’ll stop giving you lip.

    Instead, how ’bout I give you a “tip” ?

    Next time you’re feeling saucy,

    I’ll try not to be bossy,

    And then you can just slip me a nip.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Is a good publisher! Cool

    Faith – that which enables us to believe things we know to be untrue (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Seriously – are you sure you haven’t done this before? I say you’re right up in the big leagues! Cool

    Faith – that which enables us to believe things we know to be untrue (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

    Avatar of Vaney

    BigJohn and exotiKali, their clothes they did strip

    and sent us all on a very big trip

    but I really must say

    (without delay)

    that next time I should a bigger tip!

    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of athanas

    “big tip”? :-D

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Vaney
    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of Vaney

    The tip is a lie!

    • Proud Member of GirlCo, Evil Incarnate, and Pastry Princess
    Avatar of Belladonna420

    There’s a group of girls called the Gutter Sistren.
    They backed up the boys while they were drinkin.
    But if it’s nakedness you want to see
    there will be an exorbitant fee.
    Otherwise, seeing Kali’s nips is all just wishful thinkin!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Poetry in motion!

    Faith – that which enables us to believe things we know to be untrue (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

    Avatar of athanas

    and I demand a retraction so no further sullying of the good name of Long Rod Von Hugendong will continue!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    that nomination!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    That’s got to be the best honor ever. Embarassed

    Faith – that which enables us to believe things we know to be untrue (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I can update my signature??? Not sure how I could measure up to two such awesome women, but man won’t it be fun to try! LOL

    Faith – that which enables us to believe things we know to be untrue (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I will do my best! Er… worst…. and strive for the highest! Er… lowest…. Ah hell – you know what I mean! Cool

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    acceptance speech I’ve heard all night!!! LOL!!! Welcome to the Gutter Sistren!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    with those measurements, you just let me know. Kid gloves are off, but my hands aren’t cold, so don’t you worry none.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Look at all of the gals in our ring!

    Gutter Sistren, you make my heart sing!

    Athanas, my fine fellow,

    What we need is some Jell-O

    To round off this wild, crazy thing!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of athanas

    Well now, that sounds like it would be a nice time

    We could make quite the profit from those standing in line

    To watch all the girl on girl action

    Of the Gutter Sistren faction

    Just one question: cherry flavored or lime?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    When you think about all of the rest

    Of the flavors we have here out west,

    And – for the best of all worlds -

    How to slick-up these girls,

    Of course, I think Cherry’s the best!

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Gmork

    Can I tell you both how much I love that mommy bags and gutter sistern have caused you two to agree on something? Tongue out
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    much like music and a rampaging Russian unicycle riding bear.
    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    There will never be peace in the middle east until the ladeez take off they shirts.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Guilt trips??? Undecided

    Flattery will get you nowhere! Well, maybe if you’re really flattering………

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    As watchers of Titanic all know,

    What you view may not be the whole show

    It’s the first part you see,

    When you’re getting busy:

    The “tip” hints at the monster below.

    BigJohn

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I meant that until the Middle Eastern ladeez take off they shirts, which will then mezmerize and distract all the menfolk, the Middle East will never know peace.

    I am fully confident, however, that removal of the Gutter Sistern’s shirts will help the cause of global piece get started. Think globally, act locally!

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I’ll keep that in mind! Tongue out

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    As the case may be.

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

    and toss a +1 to this post.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    gulit trips, flattery AND tequila would cause the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders to come off Laughing
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Making sure we’re all ready for the next bar fight? Laughing

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    You think that you’re going to see breasts,

    Don’t you realize you need to impress?

    Why should we go bare

    If you don’t show you care

    Why should your choice of flavor be best?

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

    she’s a harsh mistress.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’m trying hard not to sound lame,

    But I love that you’re playing our game.

    But this sport has an ante,

    Be it bra, skirt or panty,

    One, two or all: to us it’s the same.

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I don’t know what that means…

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Stripping can be done with ease

    Though, of course, you have to say please

    But I can do a fun trick

    Like a pretzel I’ll stick

    How’s that for an image to tease?

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Phantom’s done me a service unkind

    Describing herself intertwined

    To add to my frustrations,

    Her gesticulations

    Are permanenly burned in my mind.

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I’ve got nothing but love for you John

    But kid gloves I cannot don

    I just don’t play fair

    I fight with a flair

    You’ll burn, groan and writhe before long

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Cast those kid gloves away with a fling.

    Your tricks and your wiles you will bring

    But to win this here prize,

    You must realize

    Groaning and writhing don’t sound like bad things!

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    In all modesty I’d say I’m quite fine

    My body, of course, is divine

    So I wile and scheme

    While you can just dream

    Won’t sweet victory then be mine?

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    What good is a battle that’s fought

    When in the end the winner wins naught?

    Still I claw and I bite,

    Using all of my might.

    At least, that’s how I have been taught.

    Yet I find it so hard to eschew

    Playing with lovely boy toys like you

    I’m not that hard to please;

    If you have to, then tease.

    But be sure: you will be moaning, too.

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    OK Gutter Sistren, here’s the deal.
    Let’s make the boys’ minds reel.
    They want mommy bags and jello fights
    and other games of nights.
    But it’s their will and composure that we will steal!

    Because women, you know, are best at this game.
    Men, I’m afraid, can come up quite lame.
    “Up” being the operative word.
    In situations like these I’ve ofter heard
    they reach their peak while warming up in pregame!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Take it Bella!

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    It appears that the gauntlet’s been thrown.

    Your betrayal cannot be condoned.

    Our groupies have turned,

    Simply because we yearned.

    Gutter Sistren, prepare to be pwned!

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    No need for you to attack.
    I was just simply stating a fact
    which I know to be quite true
    unfortunate for me, not you.
    It is I that needs something to distract.

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Your feelings it seems, they are sore

    From this oft-repeated piece of lore

    But you know what they say

    That’s how the cards lay

    And the truth will always hurt more

    But let us remain as good friends

    Because on friends you can always depend

    It’s all in good fun

    I can’t wait for the one

    To win this poetical trend

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Gmork

    You go phantom and Bella!! I wanna participate but I suck at limericks. But I am totally enjoying you all jumping into the limerick fray!
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    limericking is not easy! It takes me awhile to come up with them! Undecided

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    when it was under the post I was agreeing with, but the reply strings totally jacked it up.
    now it just looks like i’ve been huffing paint thinner.

    more than usual, anyway.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The original limerick day from a couple of weeks ago, the frequency of the posts was OUT OF CONTROL.

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of athanas

    yeah…they all do.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    Just a quick break from the norm
    Of the girl-on-girl jello porn
    If such a gathering goes down
    And we invade the same town
    On my head the junkie con idea crown should adorn

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    A junkie con is a definite must

    Our travel plans we all can adjust

    But if Athanas wears the crown

    When we come into town

    Is it in king or in princess we trust?

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

    I hope this was said all in jest
    As this post would match all the rest
    But if it’s something you just a’xe
    Concerning the bulge in my slacks
    Well, photos are available upon request

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I promise it was only a joke

    I couldn’t resist a small poke

    Perhaps one day

    You could even repay

    I had dreamt it but then I awoke.

    Wink

    ___________________________

    Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Gmork

    Kid fights, where are you?
    Camaraderie found…
    Through Virtual Bars Frown
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    I’m on the verge of a 4 day bender. Life is too good right now.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    In the wake of such a glorious day filled with corned beef and guinness?

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of Gmork

    I think I need to come back monday …wait, Tuesday for athanas…then y’all should be nice an bitter *grump*
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of athanas

    I never noticed it before, but….you’re kinda violent, Gmork.

    Have you ever thought of maybe talking to someone about that?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    …and I’m kinda violent.

    You know, you’re right. Reading this again, I was essentially wishing you both an evil Tuesday so that I could bask in your abuse towards each other. How RUDE! Now I’m embarrassed Embarassed

    Really not wishing for evilness…hope your days off are fun. I will go seek help now
    *urge for evil declining*
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of BigJohn

    He’s playing mind games with you, making you second-guess yourself! Don’t fall into his trap! Fight! Fight! FIGHT!

    _____________________________________________

    BigJohn: Badass enough to get the drop on Kissyman

    Avatar of athanas

    Gmork, I do not know what he is speaking of.

    I promise you, my lovely, that I am true in my intentions and fighting…nay…violence itself is not the answer.

    Now, come closer…this will all be over soon.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    just using this space to display my awesome.

    ____________________________________________ 0
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    JP should be number 1 on the list. But when the functionality worked, he gifted crack hits to new users who participated and other people who made him laugh.
    __________
    I am Gmork, professional multitasker and smorker

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    How is Mae doing? Its good to see you on the site again!

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the 2009 “Iron Man” Award.
    Pusher twice over.

    Avatar of Pons Matal

    JP is the Santa of CH’s! If JP had keep all the CH’s he’s given away he’d be number 1 and not have anyone to close to him even in the number 2 slot. Heheee, I said number 2! Surprised

    [flickr-photo:id=3718433600,size=m]
    KISS’d by Sigler. Honored recipient of the 2009 “Iron Man” Award.
    Pusher twice over.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    YEARRGHHBAARRGGRRRWLLLLL!!!

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    a trail of destruction everywhere you go!!! Are you crabby? Do you need a nap????

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    but I’m of the mind that he’s just whorin’ like a mu’fuckah.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    I make a post about post whoring and I double post. That’s like some sort of universal shit, right?

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I jumped on the crack wagon! Tongue out

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Check!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    but I’m going to up it by mixing it with vitamin C crystals; that should be the double whammy.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I got a little out of my head, but I think everything is ok now. Thanks for understanding. I know it was getting a little out of con-OW!!!

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I think he’s down!!!!!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of athanas

    Rifle through his pockets and draw a dick on his forehead, stat!!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Cause I’m all about hopping in on the post whore action!

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Gmork

    I think BigJohn is crashing from the sugar high! Look out below!
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    There once was a junkie BigJohn

    Who thought a hero’s crown he could don

    But an orange came one day

    And scared John away

    Now in fear of citrus he’ll forever be gone

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of BigJohn

    An upstart young junkie named Kate
    Foolishly sought to tempt fate
    She picked up an orange
    But what rhymes with orange?
    Shoot. I’m at the end. It’s too late!

    let me try that again…

    The junkie Phantompoopoohead
    Was mean in the things that she said
    She pretends that she’s nice
    But take my advice:
    Be wary of pretzels in bed.

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    My seven year old kid says to you:

    Is this what grown-ups do???

    How immature

    Are you really sure

    That he’s actually smarter than a shoe?

    (okay, lame on the rhyming but you get my point!)

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Pretzels are not only for consumption

    Flexible girls with a lot of gumption

    Give the best of all treats

    And won’t get crumbs in the sheets

    And no, this will not be a Junkie*con function!

    (may my parents never see this limerick…)

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Gmork

    In fact, he’ll drive that evil orange to suicide

    demotivational posters

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    You’re on entirely the wrong side! Tongue out

    I do, however, love the picture!

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Jump on! We’ll take the crack wagon!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    This offspring of Poopy_Reverie
    Is an old soul, I can clearly see
    She’s wise past her years
    At least, so it appears
    But she must learn regression therapy

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The mighty czarina has confidence in my ability to hire people to peel my oranges!

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of BigJohn

    When I picture you tied in a knot
    I imagine the “talent” you’ve got
    Sometimes gets you in trouble
    Sorry to bust up your bubble
    I’m thinking I like it a lot!

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Hey! What the…?! This is athanas’ logo?! I suppose that makes sense now that I think about it.

    Kali, fear not – It’s straight guinness in a Big Gulp cup. I learned my lesson. No more sugar-fueled rampages. Jiminy, what it did to my digestion…

    But hey! Come back! You dropped your marker! Where’s everyone going?

    >alone< >alone< >…alone<

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of athanas

    but you’ve gotta be pretty daft to confuse an orange and a lemon.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    …but I figured it would still be applicable as I am almost certain BigJohn has trouble with all things citrus Tongue out

    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of athanas

    I’m sure a large grapefruit would whoop his ass.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Gmork

    emoticons
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of BigJohn

    My medication precludes me from interacting with grapefruit. There is a very strict restraining order separating us. So there!

    _____________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words

    Avatar of athanas

    and if grapefruit can’t get you, it might send it’s muscle Pomelo after you.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Look out below! hee hee

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Gmork

    emoticons
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of BigJohn

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I CAN make a 12 oz glass of OJ in 20 seconds!!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of athanas

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    You guys wanna cover your mouths when you do that?! I want none of that alpaca flu shit.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    so you’re sayin’ she’s got big hands!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of BigJohn

    But I don’t think she was getting anything in her eye.

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Wolf

    Freshly squeezed. From the fruit to the mouth, straight from the tap!

    [flickr-photo:id=3383210176,size=m]
    Head Coach

    Wabash Wolfpack

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    grapefruit juice if you’d prefer! Wink

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I stick to cracking coconuts with my thighs.

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Tongue out

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Gmork

    You assume too much. Consider the fake might not have been used Frown
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Gmork

    Of the picture below….Which one is BigJohn and which one is athanas?…..Sound Off!

    Photobucket
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Is it just me or does anyone else think Athanas (what a cute wittle guy he is!) is holding an orange and John (big blue spaz) is freaking out over it?!?!

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I agree with her about who’s who. What *I* see is the beginning of the BigJohn/Athanas story. Before Virtual Bar Fights, before Siglimericks, before Kid Gloves, before the Gutter Sistren, there was just two guys fighting over crack hits. It all started with BigJohn chasing after and trying to overtake Athanas on the crack hits ladder. That’s what I see in this pic. What’s funny is that it looks like Athanas is laughing all the way to the bank! LOL!

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Scandal!

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    I’d have to say I’m the blue guy. That tongue looks endangered.

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    to begin testing on watermelons yet, but designs are on the drawing board.

    Hmmmmm….. pineapple huh?

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Gmork

    When I originally posted the pic I saw BigJohn as the little yellow Guy running from athanas’ big blue assault. But now that you and belladonna mention it, it could be the big, blue, lumbering BigJohn being antagonized by the wily athanas. That’s why I love junkies, always opening my eyes to different perspectives Tongue out
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of athanas

    yeah, that sounds like you.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    that regardless of perspective, everyone pretty much has me coming out on top.

    ha HA! Three times HA, I say!

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    my lead that was at 800 at one point is now inching closer and closer to 1500; this is also with giving away at least 350 crack hits.

    Now, I have my sights set on a beautiful young script writer who has no idea I’m sneaking up behind her. >:-)

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    I have heard of crushing cans but not making orange juice. Will there be a demonstration at the Chicago bar crawl??

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    removing her mask, with enough tequila, anything is possible! Tongue out

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I always wanted to be one of those! (Well maybe except for the “from behind” bit…) Point her out to me! I think I’d like to meet her!

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    All things are possible with Tequila! I try to mix mine with windex for legal reasons.

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of athanas

    once I blow right by here on the crack hits list.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    It’ll never happen! Tongue out

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    just in case. Wink

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Just how literally should this be taken? Is there room for creative suggestion? Hmmm… Allow me to consider.

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Ill bring the Sauza if you bring the magic dragon!

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Athanas is the one who advised me of the best way to climb the Crack Hits ladder! And look-y who’s on top now (thank you to all my good crack sharing friends!!)! Ha HA! Cool

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    ____________________________________________

    Pusher, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & [flickr-photo:id=3938763689,size=m]

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    But what will you two drink? Tongue out

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    The more I think Athanas and John are doing something that should be done in a darkened room with the door closed!!!!

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum

    Jayguana

    Avatar of athanas

    I thought everything was open to creative suggestion ’round these parts.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    Captcha for Kali: paid demonic

    __________________________________________________

    Captain of the Touchback and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

    and I don’t know if Kali gets paid for her work; I always thought she was just demonic for demons sake.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    I may have to re-evaluate my estimation of you now Tongue out

    ———————————————————-

  • Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]
Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

You must post more so your magnanimity can increase Smile

———————————————————-

  • Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]
  • Avatar of Arioch Morningstar

    Now we have a new camera angle to explore….

    ———————————————————-

  • Tangent & Funky Name Brother; Founder of the Gutter Brethren; Frequent [flickr-photo:id=3274749401,size=m]
  • Avatar of Gmork

    totally forgot to come back here and tell you I was kidding…the accent is something I’ve been working onSmile
    ———–
    Gmork – Wiki Czar and Thwackacutioner

    Avatar of athanas

    Ladies, the pool has been stocked with fresh jello, the water cannons on the sides for audience participation are charged, so feel free to disrobe and commence the giggidy.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of athanas

    We fight in a cage, each rung wrapped tightly with burning burlap and kerosene so that we are enclosed in fire, donning spiked gauntlets dipped in blow fish poison, canvas foot pads topped with razors and stomachs wrapped in barb wire.

    …or over the internet drinking beer. Either/or.

    ____________________________________________
    the trick to staying sane is to just out-crazy the world

    Avatar of J.P.

    is that actually a bugger that BigJohn just smeared on your shirt?! Are you going to stand for that?

    __________________________________________
    MC; CA; Member of the Wolf Pack; UNdead Jester and Love Slave of the UNdead Grave Mother

    Avatar of BigJohn

    And I sleep in the nude.

    Can’t wait for VBF II!

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    Kid Gloves is back!

    Newer Junkies, if you don’t know what Kid Gloves is, start at the very beginning. This thread is good times!

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo. * *

    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    attacks, As you can see I got no rhymes… Ill just hide over here on the sidelines.
    [flickr-photo:id=5021674230,size=m]~Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum – Jay-Gu-Ana, owner of the Sala Intrigue~

    Avatar of Danny Lundy

    I am going to have to go back and read this forum when I have time. It is to late right now.

    [flickr-photo:id=5069323983,size=m] The quiet guy in the corner, figuring out how to destroy all of you.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Who dredged this up?

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Belladonna420

    to find the origin of my nickname, The Juicer, for Dozie. But Kali brought it back out of retirement! Tongue out

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo. * *

    Avatar of GJ

    what a Pandoras box this is
    [flickr-photo:id=5353037802,size=m] & Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

    John, I think it’s safe to say that you and I brought the awesome with this one.
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    Avatar of Avinjer

    I feel the presence of greatness.
    One shot one kill? Please, I don’t have that kind of time.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    Man, this really reflects my job dissatisfaction from the previous employer. I think a couple of these days i did nothing but post to this thread. Talking all that smack takes a significant investment in time!

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    So if you want to read the whole shebang, it goes back to the original crack hits thread. So you really want to start there. To get the right reading experience:

    1) Scroll to the bottom of this page and select “Date-oldest first” in the center option menu (thanks to Bella for this tip), and “200 comments per page” in the right option menu.

    2) start here: http://www.scottsigler.com/node/1110?page=33

    3) search for +goddammit and start reading there. You’ll see when you need to come back to this thread.

    And finally, don’t forget to reset your Date ordering, as that setting applies to all threads you read.

    Enjoy the battle of the sophmoronic!

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of athanas

    that you left out these two links?

    I mean, the second one, I can understand and all, but hey, they’ve got to have the full experience. >:-)

    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/3597

    http://www.scottsigler.com/node/3990

    We really need to cataloge this damn thing.
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    Avatar of Belladonna420

    I was thinking that same thing when I was reading it last night!

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo. * *

    Avatar of BigJohn

    The crack hits plus kid gloves threads I think are more interesting to re-read. They contain all the verbal bantering and all that stuff; I thought the VBF threads were more logistics – setting up the events, moreso than the reason behind why we needed them in the first place.

    Oh, and besides that, I pretty much don’t remember anything from VBFII, except that I lost rather severely. And that there were a LOT of witnesses. Did I at least win the pea bladder contest?

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of athanas

    it does seem to be a good idea to also show why in the blue hell we were doing this.

    And yeah, you did win the “who pees first” prop bet.

    Ghandi said it best, I can totally relate: “Hung like moose, bladder like squirrel”.
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    Avatar of BigJohn

    It’s some consolation, just…man, it was not worth the rest of the misery.

    _________________________________________________________

    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of athanas

    but just wait until I bust out the belt at Siglerfest. :-D
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    Avatar of Jason Williamson

    [flickr-photo:id=5021674230,size=m]~Si Vis Pocum, Para Bellum – Jay-Gu-Ana, owner of the Sala Intrigue~

    Avatar of athanas

    Since Siglerfest is pretty much only 1 day, I’d much rather enjoy the festivities than hang out in my hotel room praying for death.
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    Avatar of Belladonna420

    they bring a tear to my eye!

    * * Head Biker Babe & [flickr-photo:id=4891502501], Dead Sexy Dealer, The Juicer, Co-Founder of the Gutter Sistren & Proud Member of GirlCo. * *

    Avatar of BigJohn

    would probably not appreciate waking up covered in bar fight, either. I think athanas are going to have a good time watching all y’all get flustered over how well we get along: buying each other drinks, singing pub songs and judging the gutter sistren mud wrestling championships.

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    That’s right! Post-VBF trolling!

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of athanas

    Just because we’re not doing a bar fight doesn’t mean we’re not going to get staggeringly drunk.
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    Avatar of Avinjer

    by the usual witty repartee and faithfully reported to the Internet masses by a slightly more sober pair of junkies.
    One shot one kill? Please, I don’t have that kind of time.

    Avatar of Scott "Big Fish" Pond

    Then I’m sure we can get some life-sized cardboard cut-out photos of him in his turtlneck… I think I may have a photo or two lying around that may work for this…

    [flickr-photo:id=4872769926,size=m] • [flickr-photo:id=4872123139,size=m] • [flickr-photo:id=4933249630,size=m]

    Avatar of BigJohn

    In MAY, in Baltimore?! You’re lucky I don’t dress like my avatar in that heat.

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Avinjer

    One shot one kill? Please, I don’t have that kind of time.

    Avatar of Beth_Ailis

    [flickr-photo:id=5069365035, size=m] [flickr-photo:id=4347154616] Pusher and member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Beth_Ailis

    Stumbled across http://www.whatshouldIreadnext.com and put in Scott Sigler as the author,
    Here are the results for
    Contagious
    by Scott Sigler:

    Title Info/Buy
    Paul J. McAuley, – Whole Wide World
    Info/Buy
    Jackie Collins – Dangerous Kiss (Lucky Santangelo Novels)
    Info/Buy
    Jeffrey Archer – Jeffrey Archer: Kane and Abel, the Prodigal Daughter, Not a Penny More, Quiver Full of Arrows
    Info/Buy
    John D. MacDonald – The Girl, the Gold Watch and Everything

    Jackie Collins?? HUH?
    [flickr-photo:id=5069365035, size=m] [flickr-photo:id=4347154616] Pusher and member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of Danny Lundy

    We are going on a cruise the week before. So funds will be to low to go. Would rather go to siglerfest.

    [flickr-photo:id=5069323983,size=m] The quiet guy in the corner, figuring out how to destroy all of you.

    Avatar of BigJohn

    What’s this about a SiglerCruise?

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    Gutter Sistren whipping boy, innoventor of words, Life Coach to the Damned.

    Avatar of Danny Lundy

    Several hundred FDO followers all on one boat. We might not leave the islands. Island of DOOM here we come. My wife and I are going on a cruise with some friends the weekend befor Siglerfest.

    [flickr-photo:id=5069323983,size=m] The quiet guy in the corner, figuring out how to destroy all of you.

    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I am so glad I had a spare moment and stopped by!!

    The Pure Essence of Randomness, Captain of the Touchback, One-Time Pusher and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

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    Avatar of Kate Cheevers

    I’m tired of working. :( I’ve now added a football game to the three Syracuse basketball games that are all I’ve watched since we got Fios TV a month ago. At least my daughter is getting my money’s worth! ;)

    The Pure Essence of Randomness, Captain of the Touchback, One-Time Pusher and Proud member of the Gutter Sistren

    Avatar of athanas

    Even with the broken forum quoting, this thread is still full of awesome. :-p
    (brought up because I met up with a friend from high school and her boyfriend how live in Baltimore and the subject of SiglerFest came up. I may have two new converts to the fold,).

    Avatar of athanas

    And where the hell is Kate?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    Avatar of ExotiKali

    She’s on Facebook with the rest of us, you hermit.

    Avatar of athanas

    Bah, you damn kids and your music.

    Avatar of Shadygirl

    CB is already making plans for the next Siglerfest…

    Avatar of athanas

    He old enough to drink, now? Bring it! I’ll use him as a tune-up for Meg. :-p

    Avatar of ExotiKali

    Dude – you’re dead. CB is taking martial arts now. He’s breaking boards.

    Avatar of athanas

    Felt this was an appropriate place to put this.

    I have recently discovered shandies and by the sweat of Odin’s taint, are these a delectable drink.
    That being said, it dawned on me that to this day, I have yet to try a Brass Monkey…so I made one. So you don’t have to.
    The actual mix isn’t too bad, but the “drink the Olde E down to the label” portion of the show is pure shite.
    An IPA and pink lemonade, on the other hand? You’ll think an angel bricked in your mouth.

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