That is some very cool shit. I would say that the eye stalks could be longer. There is no specific description of the eyes themselves, other than that you know if they are looking at you (so they are not just some big black orb, if you get what I'm saying). I'd say you can make the head-hair a bit denser.
The image below shows the upper body, head and neck as I see them, but without your awesome see-through treatment.