It's the fault of a butler who goes by the name of Jamingus. He dropped a stack of THE ALL-PRO. He couldn't handle the girth. 

My uncle was 8 miles from the epicenter...said it wasn't that bad more rumbling noise then actual ground shaking.

that sir is a very good theory. I work midnights so I tend to sleep off and on if not most of the day which in my case I unfortunately did not feel any ground shaking tremors. I did wake up to a few missed text messages stating that there was a earthquake and the persons who text'd me was able to feel the earth moving. I live in Western Pennsylvania and like what I said the quake was felt in my neck of the woods.

..........The extremely humble owner of "THE ROOKIE" #2487/3000.....NOCTURNAL (Rewrite) Byron Metz (as "Baldwin Metz," medical examiner for San Francisco police)

Edit: I just realized I accidentally typed Eastern instead of Western, sorry