Yeah, I can definately see this as two different books. The scene with Brian saving the Savior in the hospital would make a good finale for the first book.

As for the Aggie stuff, yeah, it could definately benefit from the split. To be honest, while the long time between chapters probably didn't help, I had completely forgotten about his story until it was mentioned in this thread.

One thing that I've noticed is that the mob elements could be tightened up a bit. I don't think they made that much of an impact on the story until the very end--the story definately slowed down during those parts. Maybe some reworking on the placement, plot, and maybe some of the characters could really make those parts shine.

That's about all that's coming to mind. Overall, an excellent story, good sir, I eagerly await the day I can buy this bad boy.

I have to say I loved Nocturnal. Real edge-of-the-seat stuff. I'd buy it even if it was 1000 pages long! However I have to say that I am really mad at thr FDO for leaving me in the lurch by not tying up some loose ends!

1. What happened to Aggie and the baby?

2. What happened to Mr Biznass and Black Mr Burns?

3. What happened to the Jessops?

4. Did Brian make up with his Dad in the end?

5. Who will be the new Chief of Police (always assuming that Amy is too badly injured to carry on in her job).

And then some suggestions:

1. The horrible, nasty sub chief should have met a grisly and gory end, preferably at the hands of Brian after what he did to him. A real missed opportunity for some extra violence and the chance to see Robertson get what was coming to him.

2. Don't kill Robin! Edit her death out of the book! I demand it!

3. I would have liked Saviour to succeed in killing First Born, even if he did have to die.

4. I don't think the gangster stuff was strong enough in the beginning part of the book, only towards the end. If it's going to be made into more than 1 book, flesh out the gangster parts in the first book.

I'll probably think of some more stuff but that's my $0.02 for now!

- "I'm risking my life, for people I don't like, for reasons I don't quite understand." - Homer

I enjoyed the book, which kept me very interested and reckon splitting it into 2 books is a great idea. The world that has been created here comes across to me as being very similar to the fantasy genre, by which it's almost impossible to contain in a single novel. Fantasy usually requires trilogy's of breath-taking grandeur. I feel the the world of the Nocturnals is the same.

It would be really sweet to hear more about the sub-plots that were started up in this book and instead of taking away I'd rather you added in, particularly about the original battle between the Saviours and Marie's Children. That really intrigued me and I suspect could even be a book in itself at some point. Others have mostly mentioned the other ones, such as Biznass and so on. i guess this is why there are going to be sequels. Awesome!

I'm a serious fan of the Saviours choice of weaponry, mostly as I don't like guns. Guns are loud and draw attention, people aren't as likely to use them. Plus, things like knives are much more up close and personal. As are Axes. Not the most graceful of weapons but seriously, who doesn't shit themselves in the face of an axe wielding cape wearing psychopathic killer? Probably more use as a handaxe in conjunction with a knife but hey, it's all good. Bows though, awesome, even Rambo had one of them :)

 I think this is my favourite story yet even though it's only an early (1st?) draft.

I also loved Pookies character development. At the start of the book I really did want First Born to tear his arm off and bitch slap him with his own hand. By the end of it though I was kind of glad he made it. He turned out pretty cool.

Can't think of stuff you could take out to make it shorter for publication. I'd pick up the whole 700 pages and read it. I tend to side with what seems to be most of the other posters and run with splitting it into 2 books. 

--

Death, chaos and mayhem, the music of the night

Why do children never die in US stories once they have been given some character? They are allowed to die only if it is the beginning of a book or they are very sketchily drawn. Is this a big taboo? - and Scott has followed the crowd.....

Minor complaint on a great novel with a film-style blockbuster finish. Looking forward to a sequel. 

- "I'm risking my life, for people I don't like, for reasons I don't quite understand." - Homer

You're just like me!  Sometimes I get so excited about Sigler's stuff that I only fix half of my hair!!!!!

"Well. I'll tell you what. You gonna kick it with me. Or I'm gonna kick you out. What you think of that?" Sister Mary Clarence 

- "I'm risking my life, for people I don't like, for reasons I don't quite understand." - Homer

Scott,

The wife and I listened to the whole book on the drive from Binghamton to Chicago and back.  24 hours of driving; 24 hours of Siggy....

•  The story arc about Zoe and her family and even the part played by the twins can be a whole lot less complicated.  It's nice detail and back story, but does little to propel the story.  Although Pierre biting off her hubby's head is AWESOME.  You have to leave that.  Oh, and does Pierre have to die?  Really?  He's the Pooks to Sly's Ninja.  He's dreamy.
• The extraneous detail about the gang wars and most of Lanza can be trimmed without losing too much in the content arena, even though it creates a nice counter-point to Tricky Dick.
• Where are all of the girl monsters?  Chicks can be scary, too.  I'm married, remember?  I know just how scary they can be.  Can the Zeds procreate without Marie? How are Erickson and his father related to Marie?

• The whole BoyCo boys breaking Rex's arm is much too violent.  It must remain in the final draft AS IS.  My wife was literally wriggling in her seat knowing it was coming and you just took your good ole time working up to the ultimate broken bone.  Simply genius.  She was so wanting you to hurry up and "just get it over with."  You are a mastermind.

• Claudio's role is well-done.  "Cockaty Twat" is classic Sigler.  It may just have to be my new safety word.
• If you're going to have so many seemingly unrelated looking monsters with very few common attributes, you should create some linkage in the Zed that allows for such diversity to make the whole monster thing more believable.  Yes, I just said that. Why is one hairy and one scaly and one has volatile burps and one has 6 arms? 

• You used the phrase "Nothing at all" three times too close together there in episode 34 and 35-ish.  Couldn't help but think of that Simpson's episode: "It's like I'm wearing nothing at all.  Nothing at all.  Nothing at all."  At least you didn't use it as much as Dan Brown used "incredulous" and "stopped short" in his Code story....  erg.

   

   

Thanks for continuing to kick ass and take names.

More, please.

--kevin

wow.  I totally missed that.

The last I heard the dog was laying on the seat of a wheelchair in the basement of the Jessups, yo!

Alder picking out shotgun pellets....

Yeah, don't kill the flipin' dog, Siggy.

--kevin

I was thinking the same thing when I first read that but thought I might have missed something since I listened to the last few episodes when I was at work.  Glad to know someone else heard the same thing I did!

"Well. I'll tell you what. You gonna kick it with me. Or I'm gonna kick you out. What you think of that?" Sister Mary Clarence 

no because it was in the bag that Nick had given to the Russians.  If youll remember he had to go back to the boat to get it.  Earlier  First Born had seen Nick climbing up the back of the ship which is what prompted him to get off of the yacht

I'm going to hell because i need a vacation

What ever happened... 

I had those same questions. Hope to find out. NOW...

suggestions... 

2. Kinda have a crush on Robin here myself, but She had to go, how else would the Ninja be 

able to find his way to become the saviour.

3. Sequel?

Like how Cheria thinks...  

which child would our FDO not kill.

my experience with Sigler, everyone can and does die. 

I only meant for the storyline, she had to die for him to find his way.

I love a strong woman in my books, as well. 

Scott, you need to ask why 700 pages is too long when Harry Potter gets away with it all the time, and 300 of those pages are spent sitting in the woods doing nothing or debating whether Harry should talk to Dumbledore.  And your book has the benefit of being an original idea.  I will end that rant there. 

If you were to cut back, the whole Johnny Yee (or whatever his name was) stuff could be cut back.  Don't even show him getting attacked, just have Brian and Pookie investigate it.  Similarly, don't show Aggie being taken.  Aggie wakes up in the cell and sees Johnny.  Their conversation fills in how they got there.  Johnny's whole family can be left out too, just him and Aggie.  Johnny gets nabbed and then Hillary takes Aggie to see the grooms walk and hands him the baby. Have Aggie get caught in the subway and move his story straight to the hospital from there.  Aggie wakes up due to the fighting and uses that as a distraction to steal the baby and flee.  Leave it hanging like that so it can lead to your plans for the sequel (King 2.0?).   

If you have to split it into two parts then I agree that moving that stuff into the second book is the way to go.  That way the only hint at their underground lair that we get in the first part is when Rex is presented as King. I will have to go back and relisten to the story as a whole to see if I can find anywhere else to split it.