I was very impressed by "Nocturnal", especially given you were writing it as you were podcasting it. 

To me, there were two distinct stories going on:

1)  Rex and Bryan both discovering their heritage and choosing two distinct destinies that collided on the boat.

2)  The "origin", such as it was, of the Nocturnals/Saviors/Kings.  That includes the Groom's Walk and Marie, and mostly focused on Aggie.

As far as breaking the story up, I would recommend the following.  Strip down the first novel to focus as much as possible on Bryan and Rex.  Save the part with Aggie and the reveal of Marie until the second or even the third novel.  I know that flies against your normal pattern of explaining the monsters, but in the case of a story that lends itself to a trilogy you can afford to leave the readers waiting.  You can still point out the chromosomal abnormality, but keep its true nature quiet until the readers can truly appreciate just how horrific the source of the Children is (something that would come after they are truly immersed in the Nocturnal world).  

I would imagine the sequence would go like this:

Book 1 follows Bryan and Rex as they discover their true natures.  We introduce the monsters, do the whole crime syndicate story, but we don't get too deep into exactly -where- the monsters come from.  It ends exactly where the podcast ended, with Rex dead and Bryan embraces his destiny as the Savior.  We get a glimpse of the Nocturnal underworld, but we don't see Marie or the undreground ship.

Book 2 continues the story as you've envisioned it, but now we can add in Aggie's story and show how Bryan and Rex were rescued from the underworld as babies.  I would even suggest not showing Marie yet...just have Hillary give Aggie the baby and show the Groom's walk (but not the conception scene) to give Aggie some motivation.

Book 3 finishes the story, but here we finally see Marie and how new Nocturnals/Kings/Saviors are conceived and born.  The shock factor of Marie would go great with whatever finale you have in store.

Again, you've got a great story here.  It's definitely epic enough to warrant a trilogy of books or more.  As much as it pains me to admit it, you might even want to poke the brain of Hutchins and find out other ways to spread it out over three books, since he did a good job doing that with 7th Son.

Thanks for the entertainment, and I look forward to meeting you in Dallas next month :)

Kings come along more often than you think.  It's definitely more often than 100 years, since Bryan and Rex are relatively close in age (20 years apart or so). 

Couldn't tell you where it was, but it's explained that Firstborn has been killing any would be Kings as soon as they are born.  He can tell them by smell.  He knows what they can do, probably as both Kings and Saviors, so for the good of the family he's been eliminating them.  Hillary, and possibly others, have been smuggling them out whenever possible.  That's why Bryan and Rex survived, and I'd hazard a guess that's where the original Savior came from. 

As far as why Bryan or Jedediah are Saviors and not Kings, I think it's a little of circumstance and choice.  When they appear to the Nocturnals, they are radiating hate and destruction.  They're blood traitors, and the Nocturnals can tell.  Rex, on the other hand, wanted to belong to the family.  He came to the Nocturnal nest peacefully, and as such was accepted as King.  Had things been different, he could have very easily been a Savior and Bryan could have been King.  That's just my take on it though.  Your mileage may vary.

I bow to you twowire.  I don't think I can top that one.

"Well. I'll tell you what. You gonna kick it with me. Or I'm gonna kick you out. What you think of that?" Sister Mary Clarence 

Just finished Nocturnal today and once again I feel like I have a new favorite Sigler book (It happens every time I finish listening to one). I've a couple things to bring up. I don't know how I'd feel if the whole Aggie / underground / grooms walk sequence was moved to a sequel. It was an integral part of the extermination of the Asian gang, gave a necessary back story to who the Nocturnals are, and utterly creeped me the fuck out. It would sadden me greatly to lose it from the first installment of the story.

I'm sure this would fall into the "loose plot threads that you are aware of" but I recall mention of a type of nocturnal known as a "Ringer."  I assume it means "dead ringer for a human" but that should be elaborated on. How do they differ from kings / saviors, do they have skills or powers, etc. I am also still curious about the Nocturnal genetics and the implications; i.e. who fucks mommy to make the Jawas? (maybe un-fertilized eggs become jawas like how un-fertilized ant eggs become males) how bout to make ringers, kings, and saviors? If the majority of Marie's Children are male, where does Aggie's "kid" come from, and the same goes for Hillary.

And I know it's overwhelming to keep track of all your characters' names, but in ep 40 you called Jebediah Erikson "Jebediah Jessup." Come on Sigler, don't get confused on us.

I remember when I first started listening to The Rookie that Scot said, "give me four episodes" and you'll be hooked.

It took one!

Nocturnal took four, I must admit. 

But now it's my favorite.  No make that 2nd favorite behind Earthcore, no wait, The Rookie is #1,  Nocturnal #2,  Ancestor #1, ....  Never mind.

But seriously, can we get C.S. Lee of Dexter fame to play Pookie in the movie version?

--Head Librarian

NOCTURNAL as it stands is pretty darn tasty.  However, the question posed was what could be trimmed down or moved into a second (or third) novel.  I gave my not so humble but pretty much useless opinion.  You could leave the Asian syndicate completely out of the mix, and still tell quite a bit about the Nocturnals without revealing Marie or the Groom's walk.  You could still show part of the lair, just not the main ship, for example.

Ultimately, of course, the decision is up to Sigler.  He knows where the story is likely to go, so he'll know best where to trim and where to add.   Whatever he comes up with will rule, of course...unless he takes another year to tell the story all over again :D

The last couple of chapters were "edge of the seat" stuff. It was so cool I had to go back for a second listen. Would make a kick ass movie.

 As far as triming down the story I would start with the conversations between Robin and Stone Mason. Too much info here and it starts to drag the momentum down.

If you break the story into two or three parts then cut back on Aggie James because you do not finish his story line which was

interesting but we never have closure with it.

Changes or Additions to consider:

Sub Chief Robertson needs to die a nasty grusome death. I don't care who does it or how it gets done but he deserves it big time. What a D-bag.

Brian needs to make at least one clean, slick and quick impressive kill on at least one monster. Every encounter seams to drag on with him just bearly getting past a confrontation before the next begins.

Find a way for Robin to survive. The Ninja needs to get laid.

What happens to Clyde? He needs to meet the maker.

Of course it is an awesome piece the way it is written and Scott just keeps getting better. It won't be long before the big take over.

Dont cut the book whatever you do! Split it if you must but I'd prefer to see one huge book.

IMHO so what if its 700 odd pages anyway? Tell the publisher that it will sell. For a quality book like this the amount of pages does not put me off, indeed the more pages the better as you know its not a quick read and so its worth the money.

If you do split it, I cant see where you can do it with the current story line easily so some changes may be needed, but I hope you do this by adding content and not removing it.

Whatever you do I have faith after years (is it years?) of listening to your stories that you will do the right thing for your drooling fans.

Sigler ate my degree in Inglich Litritchure

- "I'm risking my life, for people I don't like, for reasons I don't quite understand." - Homer

- "I'm risking my life, for people I don't like, for reasons I don't quite understand." - Homer

Just the story of Erickson, the Jessups, and Perkmeier...

I did like the fact that their healing powers wane with age though...  Makes you wonder about Erickson...

SynapticJam on Toast - hhhmmm... tastes like chicken (aka PUVJK) #3 in crack hits (Special?  Ain't I just)

S.H.I.T. Award Recipient and all around uberjunkie! 

Pooky and Brian as hell raising teens...

I wouldn't want to be Sly when he comes back.

He was the Russian delivering weapons for the Russian mob, the guy who was hanging onto the O'brien when it left port.

He went back because he saw the Chief's kids, Mur and Tabs, and didn't want to let them drown.

~Doug

The first one was back several episodes, when Rex first showed up as the King. There was a big point that First Born had made up that legend for the little ones, then there was suddenly a whole back story about the first king and how they almost took over San Fran.

Second point was in episode 40. First Born jumped to the King, picked up Devil Dan, and jumped away. The listeners (junkies) knew that Rex had learned to jump and other nocturnal stuff, but First Born did not. From his perspective, he should have taken Rex and left Devil Dan. He didn't know his King could jump himself.

My $0.02. Overall, a great story Scott! I love it and I would love to see it turned into another Crown book.

~Doug