...and it was! Well, for the most part, it was bloody awful. But one really, really GOOD thing happened to me, which set off a chain reaction and became a whole pile of good things.
In April, I was in the midst of crippling depression and well on the way to booze-fuelled self-destruction. When I caught myself wondering if the world would maybe be better off without me, I knew I'd hit a dangerous low. So, in an effort to distract myself, I decided to head to Perth for Swancon. I really didn't want to leave my house and I really couldn't spare the entry and accommodation money, but I forced myself to go anyway.
And it was there that I met Scott Sigler - a meeting that, quite literally, altered the course of my life. Anyone who has ever met the FDO will know that the man is charisma personified. You can't help but listen to what he has to say and he is just so freakin' passionate when he says it. At the time, I was so messed up that I had lost all passion for life and everything in it. The way Scott talked about his work reminded me that there WAS something I was passionate about. Writing.
Did I run straight out and pen a best-selling novel? Nope, but that's beside the point. I was SO FUCKING INSPIRED by this man, that I felt compelled to check out his website...where I met some of the most amazing people I have ever had the good fortune to know. A few months later, some Junkies (I still don't know who) organised for me to get a surprise gift in the mail and I began to realise the world *wasn't* the dark, cruel place I thought it was. I also signed up to Twitter (to follow Scott), where I discovered a whole lot of Aussies who have since become firm friends; some of them in real life.
Since then, the universe has continued to throw shit at me. Actually, the past few months have been frikkin' HORRIBLE! But these days, I have a support network to make me smile when I'm down. I've never had that before and let me tell you... it makes ALL the difference.
You'll have to excuse me for getting all sentimental, but New Year is one of those times when you find yourself evaluating your life. I posted this message for three reasons:
One - because depression and suicide are rarely acknowledged and talked about openly. And they should be.
Two - because I want my fellow Junkies to know how grateful I am for their kindness and how much their friendship means to me. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.
Three - and most importantly - I want to say THANK YOU to Scott. This is going to sound melodramatic, but you may have actually saved my life. I will never be able to adequately repay you for that, but please know that meeting you will always occupy a special place in my heart. Your passion is infectious (no pun intended) and the online community you have built is second to none. I don't know why you ever decided to talk to this self-destructive drunk, so alienated from society that she'd lost all social skills...but I am so very glad you did. Thank you, my friend. A thousand times, thank you.
[flickr-photo:id=4730034487,size=m] ~S&N Bouncer and Official Hitwoman for the Gutter Sistren~
--------------------------------------------------------------Gutter Sistren Hitwoman - CBBC: Honey Trap - Bounty Hunter - Stupid Accent