it's a quality thought!!! Given what the FDO can do with such a regular kitchen item as chicken scissors, my curiosity is peaked by what he could do with a jet engine :) :)
I suggest that further discussion should revolve around what the FDO could make go horribly wrong with the already horribly wrong situation...
Starting point: "That guy" walks in front of the jet intake engine and...
1.) while he'd been cutting it a bit close, he thought he was safe... Until his hangover addled wits proved him horribly wrong! Even while he was struggling to keep his balance in the midst of a wicked oil slick, he felt the inexorable drag of the jet engine dragging him to his bloody mangled end.
2.) thought "Seriously... what the Hell do people pack in their designer luggage? Why the Hell would a 2 foot by 3 foot suitcase weigh that damn much? It's like there's a dismembered body in there or something." Rather than following protocol and asking for help carrying the stupid heavy bag, he cut corners. He grabbed the bag by it's handle, threw his whole body into the throw, saw it land with a perfectly on the plane with a satisfying thump, and staggered back from the momentum.... right into the suction of the razor sharp blades of the engine.
3.) gets flat out shoved into the suction of the engine for no other reason than that they dared to consider they could come up with a more gruesome ending than the FDO could.