The new GFL team T-shirts are in, Junkies! Feast your eyes on this cottony goodness. I am shipping them out pre-orders today. We expect to see you pimping your shirts on the Twitters and the Facebooks (and on the Google+ for you Googly types).
What? You didn't pre-order one, but now your skin cries out to be covered in Stank? Well then, click here and let your body be covered in Siglerism.
And feel free to post images of you wearing the T-shirts in the comments, but BE WARNED: we may select you as a model for our store page.
As Scott and I "grow up" in this publishing venture, we're learning new things all the time. In November, when THE ROOKIE sold out, we learned that there are some folks who will wait until the last moment to pounce, and some folks who will be quite sad very quickly after the last moment that they waited too long.
Since I can help you now, but can't help you once it's gone, I'm doing what I can to say soon it will be too late, this is your chance, gogogogogo!!!
Also, a quick reminder about our Goreline. We get a ton of email questions, but it's always more fun to hear from you guys! If you want to hear your voice on the show, call 206-666-4673, or email an MP3 to email@example.com.
Holy cats, check this one out! A gorgeous Triangle tat on Junkie Daniel Kaneshiro. Truly amazing work, inked up by Andrew Shampie.
Daniel, hats off to you, sir!
Oh, you want to see him on the site? Well, his Junkie name is SHoeSTRiNg92.
Awwwwww snaap! Check out this bitchin' cover for THE REPORTER, a 244-page ebook-only novella story by Mur Lafferty and me.
The story involves Yolanda Davenport's search for the truth about Ju Tweedy's involvement with the murder of Grace McDermott, the incident that drove Ju to join the Ionath Krakens. THE REPORTER takes place between Week Three and Week Six of the 2684 GFL season, the season that encompasses THE ALL-PRO.
We'll probably sell THE REPORTER eBook for $4.99 when it comes out near the end of the year, but you can get it now for free.
How? If you pre-order both NOCTURNAL and THE MVP in hardcover before April 1, 2012, then email your receipts to firstname.lastname@example.org, we'll send you THE REPORTER for free sometime in March. What a freakin' bargain!
Scott's 2012 tour and appearance schedule has been set! Check out all the fun below as we set up a little West Coast vs. East Coast rivalry! There will be freebies for pre-ordering both NOCTURNAL and THE MVP, freebies for showing up at a tour stop, and even a treat for whichever coast makes the best showing once both tours are done. You're really going to want to listen to all these details Junkie, so I'm not even going to mention the big secret news about Scott maybe buying stock in Hostess to save the chocodile.*
Click here to see the full 2012 tour schedule!
*Disclaimer: Scott did not buy stock. Chocodiles are kind of gross
|You humans, you're a hypocritical bunch, ain't ya? I mean, imagine if me and a pack of my best doggie friends lined up outside a home for the mentally impaired, pointed and laughed, then took pictures of them and added their actual misspoken quotes, then emailed those pictures to more friends and even made web sites glorifying the lack of mental prowess? Would you think that was cool? Hell no, I'd be vilified by the Liberal news mafia and before I know it that paragon of virtue Bill Mahr would open up his monologue with a snarky commentary about me. That's what would happen if animals mocked people.
Click here to read my opinion of your idiotic "LOL-cats."
|With much swagger and a Very Important Science Fiction Author air of self-importance, I'm going to say that I called this shot. The BBC is reporting that five killer whales are the "plaintiffs" in a lawsuit to set them free from Sea World in San Diego, CA.
The whales are being kept "as slaves." This is apparently the first time a US court has heard legal arguments over whether animals should enjoy the same constitutional protections as humans.
"Called it?" Nay, I do believe my work actually made this happen.
Unfortunately, the shot I called is being fired by the loons at PETA (they of the Sea Kittens fame). While I am glad people at PETA are reading my books, influencing their actions is a mixed bag at best.
Junkies, if you recall the tale of Huey, Dewey and Louie from one of THE ALL-PRO's historical segments (they of the intelligent Dolphin species Delphinus albietz):
Compare that excerpt to the comments of Jeffrey Kerr, the lawyer representing the five whales:
Interestingly, one of the whales is Tilikum, who drowned his trainer during a show in February, 2012. PETA has not commented on whether or not Tilikum will also be tried for that murder of a living, breathing, feeling being.
A thank-you to Junkie Jason Farrow (@JMFTheVCI) for pointing this out to me on the Twitters.
||It took us fifteen hours to sell 1,000 copies of THE MVP. Fifteen is not a lot of hours:|
As always, this is only possible due to the dedication and tenacity of the exceptional people willing to walk this road with us. We are humbled by how extensively #junkiesfuckingrock, and we continue to strive for perfection because it's the best way to honor the commitment you guys make to our dreams.
I am immeasurably proud to be part of bringing Quentin's continuing quest out of Scott's mind and into our reality, and it warms my tiny black heart to see that so many people are excited about it too.
If you are looking for exact numbers, they won't be forthcoming. I'm a girl who takes managing expectations seriously, and there's simply no good way to do both things.
If you are wondering how many books we're printing, the answer is we don't yet know. It'll be between 2,000 and 3,000, and where it falls depends on how many books are pre-sold between now and July 1st, when we have to give the printer our final details and finished files.
If you are wondering if THE MVP is worth the wait … oh hells yes it is. I promise.
The New York Football Giants won their fourth SuperBowl title with a 21-17 win over the New England Patriots, who are also a football team despite the fact that they do not have the word "football" in their official title. Giants QB Eli Manning won his second championship (see "Peyton," below), and played a fantastic game.
The GD Detroit Lions did not win the SuperBowl. Therefore the SuperBowl XLVI sucked. For the fourth time in the last five years, the big game was decided by four points or less, adding to the mystique of one of the world's biggest sporting events. This year's SuperBowl was an awesome affair, with great plays on both sides.
Click here to continue on and see my Very Important Opinion on the most important parts of the NFL's final contest.
Here we go Krakens, here we go (clap-clap!). It's almost on Junkies! The pre-order for THE MVP, Book IV of the GFL series starts tomorrow, February 4, 2012 at 9:00am Pacific Time.
THREE-MINUTE EPISODE RIGHT HERE!
Listen in for a few final notes about the site and what you'll see/do/buy tomorrow. This time it's even shorter than my last MVP-related FridayFix™. Still totally worth it. And, unlike last time, *this* time there might really be bunnies on the podcast!
NOTE: PayPal might give you a warning tomorrow when you go to buy the book. It's okay, it's just PayPal looking out for you. We've tested through that warning and it's fine. Click through and get your goods.
(Disclaimer: still no bunnies.)
This episode of FridayFix™ is brought to you GoDaddy.com. Click the banner above to see great discount codes for Go Daddy, like the coupon code SCOTTCOM which gets you a brand-new domain for just $7.99, or SCOTTDEAL which saves 10% off your entire order. Visit the discount page to see all the savings codes.
All right, I know that I'm old. I know this. I'm 98 in "dog years," which we all realize is an arbitrary number assigned by "the man" to keep my people down. How come nobody talks about our civil rights, huh? Got an answer for me, smart-guy?|
I didn't think so. You all are too busy laughing at goddamn cats that are too stupid to spell correctly. Since when is laughing at retarded cats an acceptable form of behavior? Idiots.
Anyway, I have a bone to pick with your kind, and not of the delicious milk variety (Purina FTW!). What the hell is up with your goddamn magic rooms? A door opens. I walk out of the hall into a room. The door closes. A few seconds later, the door opens ... into another hall! Black-magic chicanery, that's what I call it.
So here's my problem: sometimes I can't remember which part of the magic room is supposed to open up. Oh, that's my fault? Listen, asshole, you're the ones that build this crap, it's not my fault that I don't know which side of the magic room is going to magically open into Magic Land. Did I mention I'm 98 in dog years?
And my smart-ass "pal," Scott. What a douche, taking a picture of me from the open door of the magic room while I stare at a wall. How the hell was I supposed to know it was just a wall??? Huh?!
Humans ... someday I will bite you all.
Ladies & gentlemen, please allow me to introduce our new in-house designer, Scott "Big Fish" Pond. And since we wanted to announce Big Fish in a Big Pimpin' way, feast your eyes on four brand-new GFL team T-shirts. Sha-ka-paaaaoowww! These were designed by Scott, and now you can buy them. Click on the shirt you want, put that thang in your cart, and when you're done ordering all you want just check out (a.k.a., give us your moneys).
Here's a very cool article I stumbled across thanks to a link from science secret agent Tom Merritt. Business Insider showed off "crazy, science fiction-y uniform designs" in a recent post, and damn if these things don't look like the GFL come to life. Let's go ahead and admit it -- the GLF is slowly infiltrating the world of football, and things will never be the same.
Click through to see if your team gets a uniform rave-up. The picture above of the concept art for the Washington Redskins. Hmmm, six feathers, three on the right, three on the left ... does this design resemble a certain team from Ionath, or is it just me?
Maybe it's just me ...
Sometimes, Scott gets to do guest appearances on other shows. Sometimes the shows go well, sometimes not so much. Rarely, however, have I ever seen the FDØ™ enjoy himself as much as he did on the NSFWShow (part of the TWiT Network). |
We've linked to the audio, as usual, but if you have time do set aside an hour and watch the video. Hosts Brian Brushwood and Justin Robert Young are funny as hell, and the fans of the NSFW show make in-joke art as the show happens that will blow your mind.
Click here to download audio of FridayFix™ Scott on NSFWShow January, 2012
(Disclaimer: no minds were actually blown in the filming of this video)
|Gear up for hoops and rep your favorite team with basketball shoes & fan gear from Eastbay.com. Use the code AFSIGLER to save 15% on NBA merch from the Lakers, Celtics & Miami Heat, or on shoes and workout gear from Nike, Adidas, New Balance, STX and Under Armor. If your order is below $75, save 10% with the code AFSCOTT1.|
Allright, you lazy, good-for-nothing beatniks! Get out of that got, drop your linnen and stop your grinnin'!