Awww, snap! Check out two full pages from the INFECTED graphic novel, available July 9. Published by IDW Publishing and drawn by the phenomenal Chad Minshew, this bad boy looks amazing. This is issue #1 of 5. Click on the images to see them larger on my Flickr page. 

What's that? You want it for your very own? The Diamond product code is MAY120450. Go to comicshoplocator.com, type in your zip code, find a store near you, then call and request it.

If you're asking, "hey Dark Øverlord, what's the best way for us to help you with this?" The answer is buy it in print from your local shop. Why? Because it increases awareness with the comic shop owners and workers, who are then more likely to hand-sell the book to others. The better the comic does, the more likely you are to see INFECTED as a movie. More and more, Hollywood makes movies from comic books. It makes sense, because it's a visual medium that they can instantly see as a movie. 

The INFECTED graphic novel should also be available electronically with the IDW Publishing app (the app is free, the comic will not be), and should also from ComixOlogy. 

If you've read my blog posts, you know I'm old as hell. Or "was" old as hell. I've moved on, folks. 

My humans would like to think I had a good life. I lived in Michigan and California. I drove back and fourth between those a total of four times. Add in various trips, and I was able to sniff stuff in twelve states. I also marked my territory in all twelve states, mind you, so Wyoming? Yeah, that pee spot is mine.

I swam in the Great Lakes. I swam in the Pacific Ocean. When I snuck away from my people, I also swam in some shallow bodies of water that could barely be described as "fetid ponds." As an annoying dog, there were few things more satisfying than getting away from Scott and coming back covered in stinking mud. Ah, the good life ... 

Yep, I'm dead. Sunday, June 17, 2012 was my time. I arrived in 1998. I don't remember much, other than that I was a five-pound pup in a Humane Society in Michigan. Scott and the Evil Queen found me. Apparently, me playing a game of throwing my own dried poop and chasing after it endeared me to the Evil Queen. I became theirs, they became mine. There was a lot of love, I tell you. A lot of love, a lot of treats, which are kind of the same thing. 

I also utterly destroyed Scott's back yard in Stockbridge, MI. I dug so many holes that he finally bought enough chicken wire to cover the entire back yard. He laid down the chicken wire, then a couple of inches of top soil, then seeded it. The first time I tried to dig through that? I had to admit, he beat me. Damn you, Scott! 

But it's not all bad. My family doesn't believe in an afterlife, we don't think we'll all be reunited in a cloudy place with a bunch of winged dudes flying about and jamming AC/DC on harps, but in a way, I get to live on. You've read NOCTURNAL? Yeah, that "Emma" is me. Hopefully Scott can write a sequel, so I can roam around with Bryan a bit more. And maybe you've read ANCESTOR? Well guess what: those snarling 650-pound black and white beasties were based on me. 'Cause I was that mean. It's too late for you to prove that one wrong, by the way, so let the record show that my snarling face inspires monsters. 

I know my people miss me. They miss me very much. I'm sorry they are hurting right now, but that's the price you pay for the gift of loving something so deeply. It's a price they pay gladly. As my atoms and elements spread to other uses, whatever might be left of me will miss them as well.

Thanks to you all for reading my surly blog posts. It was fun while it lasted. And when you read NOCTURNAL or ANCESTOR, think of me.

-Emma-

Yes, it is over. I have driven a blade deep into the heart of mine enemy, and then slid it around a tad to make sure all the important bits were properly sliced up.

Translation: THE MVP final draft is complete. So is the audiobook recording. I just finished all that shiz, just now. If I smoked, I would be puffing on a big ol' cigar.

This is a picture of me mugging with the 829 page final manuscript, and busting out the Eyebrow of Døøm for good measure.

My part is complete, Junkies. Now ARealGirl, the Diva of Design, Scott Pond and other talented folks can get to gettin busy on creating another hardcover gem for your collections. 

SPOILER ALERT: All the Krakens die in a gamma ray burst, a phenomena specified in Phil Plait's book "Death from the Skies!"

Sorry about that, but there was no other way out of a pesky loophole I created.

THE MVP will be out in September in hardcover, eBook and audiobook. If you haven't pre-ordered your signed, numbered, limited-edition hardcover, feel free to do so here.

Good googly-moogly! Look at this monstrosity of a facemask. This year look for this facemask on Justin Tuck, defensive end for the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. 

That's a lot of bars of angular mean, is it not?

Tuck had this mask made because he hurt his neck, and opposing players tried to grab his facemask and yank it to aggrivate the injury. Hey, nobody said the NFL is a place for nice people. This facemask will make it harder for players to perform that nefarious task. 

I think Mum-O-Killowe would sport something like this. 

Your FDØ is a kind FDØ, and he shares lovely things with you Junkies. Here's a rawk video from one of my favorite f-ing bands in all the known land, Maylene & The Sons of Disaster. The video features blood, murder, ropes, wayward hitchiking girls and Danny Trejo. Yes-yes, I know I had you at "Danny Trejo."

This is off Maylene's latest record "IV." I have been playing it non-stop while I write the insert for THE MVP. I also tossed up a quick review on the record and a better description of Maylene's sound in a forum post, right here.

Take a look at this picture of Mr. Fancy-Pants Author. Yes, that is me after a week of "hold onto your goods because the workload is going to plant a size 10 in your ding-ding" work. 

This is another entry in the "where the hell has Scott been" department. For the past week, ARealGirl and I have been in the San Francisco studio recording THE MVP audiobook. It's been a blast. This definitely falls into the "work hard, play hard, collapse due to stress and get shocked with those electrical thingies the doctors on TV use" kind of week. 

On our best day, we recorded 153 pages. That's 38,250 words in one day. In more understandable terms, that's 273 minutes of podcast (my performance rate is about 140 words per minute of story). This is for standard manuscript pages, which are 250 words a page -- at that size, THE MVP is 830 pages long, or a little bit less girthy than THE ALL-PRO.

My voice held up well, thanks to hot tea, cough drops, pineapple juice and lots (and lots) of water. There was also copious amounts of sushi from Sushi Rock, which makes a thing called the "Khotbito Roll" that is so good I would kill any of you for it. Sorry, that's just the truth. 

Keep in mind, that's just recording. We still have to edit it and add sound FX, which takes about twice as long to do as the recording itself. So, we're only 1/3 done. 

So why am I so flippin' tired? Well, I also wasn't finished with THE MVP final draft. So, we record for 10-12 hours a day, then I go home and write for 4-5 hours, depending on when it's time to pass out and piddle myself. I need a frickin' nap, I tell ya. 

But, we're almost done! I finished THE MVP final draft last night. Today, ARealGirl is sending that to Ms.Information, our Diva øf Design, for layout, which means the book be in your hot little hands come September. What? You haven't pre-ordered Book IV of the GFL sereis? Shoot, mang, click here and get crack-a-lackin'!

We have 2-3 more days of the raw recording, and then I'm gutting a Ton-Ton, crawling into it's smelly guts and taking a goddamn nap.

Junkies: "Well, young man, would you care to explain just where the hell you've been all this time? Have you been hiding?"

Scott: "Oh, you know, there was this thing at the Senior Center where I volunteer, then this rapist pedophile werewolf showed up at the day care center down the block, so I had to--"

Junkies: "Don't you lie to us, young man ... you've been working again!"

Scott: "(sigh) ... yeah, I have. I'm doing 14-hour days to finish up THE MVP final draft edit so I can start recording the audiobook/podcast on June 4. Then eight days of recording that, then finish up the first draft of PANDEMIC -- which, I admit, I've been doing research on all along. Plus, the Døg of Evil was pretty sick for a spell, and as old as she is that took some time and some thinking about what's best for her. She's pretty perky this morning, though."

Junkies: "So, work ... that's why you're not on the site, and why you aren't doing your own podcast intro? Is that redheaded enabler helping you use again?"

Scott: "Fine! I'll admit it! If it wasn't for ARealGirl, I wouldn't be able to get any of this done! Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now, Junkies?"

Junkies: "Happy? Sometimes we miss the olden days, the long-ago days, where you'd just promise us new works and then miss deadlines over and over again. You used to lie to us about delivering new stories -- that's how we knew you loved us! ARealGirl ruined it all by making you efficient!"

Scott: "How dare you call me efficient! How dare you, sirs and ma'ams! I assure you, as soon as this deadline is done, I'll be back to playing three games of FIFA a day, surfing the web for pictures of Chocodiles, and creating fake accounts on JC Hutchinsssss' site to mess wtih his head."

Junkies: "We've heard it all before. You're just not the same FDØ we used to know."

Scott: "You know what? I can't do this right now. I've got to go ... uh ... look online for ALIENS fan sites."

Junkies: "Liar! You're going back to work again, aren't you? Tell us the truth!"

Scott: "Yes, I'm going back to work. I'm sorry it has to be this way ... I just can't stop. I'm going to cut a big fat line of words and snort it back through a straw of editing. Later, Junkies -- I'll see you in a couple of weeks after I recover from this bender."

In the world of "problems I would both like and not like to have," Paramount Pictures is suing the estate of Mario Puzo, author of THE GODFATHER novel, to stop the estate from putting out a new Godfather book. I'll summarize below, but if you want more in-depth coverage, read the article from The Hollywood Reporter and/or Businessweek. 

The situation in one paragraph (or less)
Mario Puzo is dead. His estate wants to put out a new novel, THE FAMILY CORLEONE, written by Ed Falco. This novel details the rise to power of one Vito Corleone (the role made famous by Marlon Brando) in 1930s New York. Paramount Pictures filed suit that the novel "tarnishes the legacy" of it's films, which were made based on the novel THE GODFATHER, written by Puzo. Proceeds from THE FAMILY CORLEONE will go into escrow while the courts determine the lawuit's result. In retaliation. the Puzo estate is counter-suing to terminate the original 1969 agreement that gave Paramount the movie rights to the book (I will avoid a mafioso line like "if they hit us, we hit them back twice as hard" because I'm mature and shit).

How this impacts me
This case, of course, has nothing to do with me directly. But, it makes a body think about the future legacy of works that I already wrote, am writing today, and will write for the next 352 years of my baby-blood-makes-me-nigh-immortal life. 

Let's say someone buys the movie rights to NOCTURNAL. Let's say NOCTURNAL flick is a smash hit. What does that mean for the story integrity looking out ten, twenty, fifty years or more? Will my heirs someday commission multiple sequels to cash in on what I created and you guys dig? I'll be in the ground so I probably won't care, but story is the only real legacy an author can leave. 

Just look at Marvel and DC:
The ongoing reinventions of Batman and Spiderman show that an author's original storyline is irrelevant when coporations own copyrights. Granted, those were works-for-hire, and corporations have owned Batman and Spiderman from day one (correct me if I'm wrong, here, I'm not an expert on comics history). So the people who came up with those original tales of the Dark Knight before he was the Dark Knight can't say shit as Frank Miller totally upends their creation and makes it something new. If I was the guy who created the original storyline? As an author who works very, very hard on creating solid stories, I'd want to come back from the dead and murder everyone involved. I'm a bitter ghost like that.

NOCTURNAL, the sequel! Based on the novel INFECTED:
When INFECTED was optioned for a movie in 2008, part of the deal was that the studio could make an INFECTED II and I would have no say over what that might be. So, while I had a perfectly kick-ass sequel with CONTAGIOUS, the studio could opt to go in a completely different direction. I tried not to think that INFECTED II might be as God-awful as HIGHLANDER II. To watch something I'd spent a decade on turned into a cash-grab piece of shlock? That would be a living nightmare. Yes-yes, I know, "First World Problems" and all, but that's not hyperbole.

Sometimes we creative types can get crazy-possessive of what we make. It's that obsessive nature that makes us slave over it, re-write it, edit it, re-write it again and again to make it the best if can be that brings it up to a certain level of quality. The story matters. It's not "just a book" to me. It is to you, and that's fine, but that is my creation. Would you tell Dr. Frankenstein to chill the fuck out when the villagers burn his monster? You could, but Doc would pimp-slap you all across the lab.

Which begs the big question: who controls quality after I'm dead?
And the answer is, I don't know. I know that the Puzo Estate thinks they can control quality (and cash in as well, let's be honest here). I know Paramount Pictures thinks they can control quality (and cash in as well, let's be honest here). This is about money. But is this also about protecting the integrity of a story that has surpassed mere entertainment and become part of the American culture? 

Should creators take the money while they can, or should they try and find a way to protect their legacy? What if someone wrote GONE WITH THE WIND II: SCARLET FLASHES THEM TITTIES? How would that impact a piece of our shared identity? 

What do you think?
As fans, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Say I get eaten by a rabid llama tomorrow. Should the GFL series be done, or should someone else write it? What if ARealGirl hires my nemesis J.C. Hutchinssssss to write it? If I had a grave (which I won't, because my ashes will be spread over the ashes of Marilyn Monroe (awww yeah)), would I be turning in it? As the person who'd control that business, does ARealGirl have the right to party on with the story, both to make her duckets and to satisfy all y'all who want to know what happens?

Comment. I'll be watching. 

Check out a 3-minute review of the new Tim Burton flick, DARK SHADOWS, starring Johnny Depp and Michelle Pfeiffer. See that "share" button in the movie player's upper right-hand corner? Click it, share it, and be shiney.

Ah, Christian Slater, that face of the 80s, star of HEATHERS, BROKEN ARROW, INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE, TRUE ROMANCE and more, what's he up to these days? He's busting out a little indie horror in PLAYBACK, which was released on DVD May 8.

I'm a fan. I like his work. This movie? Maybe not so much. As a bonus to my fellow 80s kids, though, there are two scenes with Mark Metcalf, who was the screaming guy in the Twisted Sister video "We're Not Gonna Take It" (and, yeah, also in ANIMAL HOUSE).

This isn't Slater's first foray into indie horror. He did that abysmal ALONE IN THE DARK video game adaptation. Like in Playback, he did a good job in a terrible movie.

Check out the review. It's three frickin' minutes, and has some surprises inside. It's like Cracker Jacks in video form, but it tastes more like day-old gym socks than caramel.

This review sponsored by Petco.com coupon codes, which give you toys, leashes, beds and pet food for your buddies. If you have a pet, click on that link to see the kick-ass offers.

I know that my previous blog posts may have been a bit ... caustic. Granted, someone had to curse out those infernal moving boxes, and someone had go get real about the way you humans make fun of retarded cats, but today is not about that. 

Sometimes, you just got to lay the hell down. If there is grass available, even better.

I won't lie to you pups: I'm old as hell. Sometimes that can make me surly. Other times, like today, I get all introspective. Cut me some slack -- occasionally us old girls can get a bit emotional.

Your "Future Dark Øverlord" and I went to the beach today. I don't get that close to the sand, as that loose footing will screw up a girl's hips, but we enjoyed the nice weather and took in some fresh air. By the way, who invented sand? Someone who hated old dogs, that's who. Yeah, I know those asshole cats (even the old ones) can walk across it all goddamn day, but when they fall they drop, what, six or seven inches? Physics is on their side. Not so much for the more advanced, larger mammals, like myself. Being higher up on the evolutionary ladder can sometimes carry a powerful price. 

So today, I'm not crotchety or surly or even a little bit mean. I'm just chillin'. Warm sun on my face, cool grass on my body, a day like today is hard to beat. All you dogs out there, when the sun comes out, make sure you take your owners somewhere and just sit for a spell. Take your shoes off. Make sure you let your people know that you're not going to be around forever, and their lives are probably too damn hectic as it is -- they could stand a few hours sitting on their butts not doing a damn thing other than hanging out with you.

You know that phrase "at least I'm looking at the green side of the grass?" Shit, dawg; today, I'm laying on it. And that's pretty hard to beat.

May is pretty much dedicated to the first draft of PANDEMIC, which is the third and final book in the INFECTED trilogy. I'm 40,000 words in, and it feels like it will be about 160,000 words total. By comparison, ANCESTOR was 150,000 words, and NOCTURNAL was 195,000.

I won't give spoilers here for INFECTED and CONTAGIOUS, but if you've read those you know I have quite a challenge in establishing the protagonists for PANDEMIC. So far so good, I think, although y'all will be the real test for that. 

The first quarter of the book has been slow because of research and working with my consultants to make sure we get as much of the science and military action as correct as possible. I won't lie, the science here is wacky. I'm trying to build on the shiz you saw in the first two books and also add another level of "holy shit." As for the military side of things, I'll get an early thanks out to Lt. Commander Joe Root, US Navy. Joe has helped with THE CRYPT, but this is my first novel to have extensive naval action and I am emailing the living hell out of Joe. Another newcomer to the consultant stable is Chris Otto, a friend of mine since I was in high school. Chris was a commercial diver who worked the Great Lakes and the Gulf of Mexico, and his experiences are hopefully going to make this book come alive. 

Overall it's so far, so good, but I'm entering a tricky phase of transitioning from the local level to a larger scope. The shift in focus depends heavily on timelines, who is where and when they are there, the needs of the plot and trying at all times to make the story work with characters behaving like you and I would (were we cast into the midst of a global catyclysm, of course). I'm very excited to finish up this draft and get it to Tha Shiv at Crown, so the real work can begin. He did such a kick-ass job editing NOCTURNAL I can't wait to see his suggestions for PANDEMIC. 

PANDEMIC is due out Spring of 2013.

Man, am I pooped. My old ass went to the midnight release of THE AVENGERS last night, which meant I was up until 4am. Oh, don't worry, the Døg of Evil made sure I couldn't sleep in at all, so I have that going for me. Which is nice.

THE AVENGERS was rocking. As a comic book fan from way back in the day and a die-hard CHAMPIONS player in high school, this movie got super fights right. Iron man vs. Thor vs. Captain America alone is worth the price of admission, let alone Thor vs. Hulk, which alone was worth my $12. They were that much fun. And all of this outside of the fights against Loki (which really aren't all that spectacular).

I thought the acting was excellent. Marvel has done such a great job of type-casting that these people make it look so natural. Chris Evans is f-ing perfect as the squeaky-clean Captain America: dude looks like a walking World War II recruiting poster. Chris Hemsworth is a solid Thor, and Robert Downey Jr. has set the standard so high for Iron Man it's hard to imagine who could play the role in the inevitable re-boot five years from now. Scarlet Johanson is quite at home in the skin-tight bodysuit of Black Widow and Jeremy Renner does a decent job trying to make Hawkeye shine amidts far bigger "super" stars, but Mark Rufalo doesn't really do anything for the role of Bruce Banner. His CGI Ruffalo-faced Hulk, however? Holy crap on a cracker, the green giant totally steals the show. 

And just in case you missed the memo? Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. My nerd-chub is still throbbing the next day. What? You want more Hollywood powah? Gwyneth Paltro gives good face as Iron Man's best girl Pepper Pots, and Tom Hiddleston's evil Loki grin is a slam-dunk. 

I think the real star of the show is director Joss Whedon. Giving generous screen time to each of these A-list actors and their legendary super-characters was a major challenge, and Whedon pulls it off. Everyone gets a chance to shine. Whedon keeps the pace moving through the mandatory "all is lost" moments. He has to do some serious juggling to show everything off -- I'm betting there are two or three directors could have done it better, but 99 percent of them would have done far, far worse.

Plot-wize, it's kind of a thrown-together schmoz. Whedon has a lot to do and a short amount of time in which to do it. Where they are talking story, for the most part I was thinking "yeah-yeah, I know, you have to justify something so that people can square off in a super-powered battle royale, so let's keep it short, shall we?"

I'm not crazy about Loki as the choice for the first Avengers flick. Once you've got a Norse god and an alien army ripping the shit out of NYC, it's hard to step that up a notch for the sequel. And trying to keep track of god-powers vs. Iron Man's weaponry vs. just how super is Captain America, anyway? is impossible, so just don't do it -- sit back and watch the face-smashing. 

The reason to see this flick at the theater? Fights, pure and simple. If you are now or ever were a comic book fan, THE AVENGERS is an eye orgy that will leave you spent. And I'm not talking about "graphic novels" or whatever the artsy, angsty, "we're Hipsters pretending to be nerds" term of the day is for the modern comic, I'm talking about the late 80s pulp where kicking bad guys in their Super-Nuts was what sold the books. 

My final take: THE AVENGERS is why it's still worth it to see a movie in the theater. Don't wait for it to hit your home screen, because you'll probably be watching it again there anyway. 

THE RAVEN with John Cusak opens tonight, so here's my game-day review of this Edgar Allan Poe-inspired flick. Now, since I can't reach anyone at YouTube to get permission to include movie trailers in my vids, I made my own trailer. It's wayyyyy better than the original, I'll have you know.  

The thing is, if I embed the actualy trailer, YouTube won't allow it to be embedded on this blog or allow it to be played on mobile devices (which pissed Junkie ExotiKali off to no end). So, I get to bust out my film-making chops and produce my own. 

Watch this before you go to the theater, peeps. 

Normally, Heyne Publishing creates a new cover for my books. This time out, seems like they did the American verstion. How cool is that name? 

For all you Deutsche speakers, it's out Dec. 10.

Click here to pre-order.

Cover design by Scott E. Pond.	Figures by Adrian Bogart.

With everything else we've got going on over here, we're still working hard in the background on getting the paperbacks ready for print.  Newly edited manuscripts are in the expert hands of the Diva of Design as we speak, and I present the covers for your perusal here.  Enjoy!

Both books publish August 7, 2012, and are available for pre-order now.