Man, this was a great time. ARealGirl and I hit LA to be on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast. They U-Stream live video, then put that on YouTube (which is below), and then release the audio podcast. I'll link to that when it goes up.

What a crazy conversation. We talk police corruption, my fiction process, I get to geek out on MMA, I tell how I came up with the concept for THE ROOKIE, tardigrades, the evolution of sentience, my story of podcasting and getting a print deal, and — finally — I reveal who is behind the NOCTURNAL TV series. Get ready to soil yourself with excitement.

Sometimes getting old sucks.

The Evil Queen™ is still laid up with a monster of a back injury. She's been out of work for quite some time, which has necessitated changes around the house. Remember when we were all 15 years old and bulletproof? Yeah, that doesn't last.

So, she and I got to talking about what might happen if I also suffered an injury that put me out of commission — like most families, we'd be in a bit of a financial pickle. Her injury is particularly relevant to my profession, because she literally can't sit down for more than fifteen minutes at a time, and can't stand for more than about an hour at a time. Those things are important if your job is angrily punching keys on a computer.

(And before anyone suggests it, no, Dragon Naturally Speaking would never be a solution for my writing style of write a sentence, deleted it, re-write it, move something, move it back, delete, change, etc.).

There is danger inherent in all modes of transportation, including even walking (especially in San Francisco). The thing with a motorcycle, however is how exposed you are to the drunken jackasses, the latte-sipping hipsters that can't see out of their asinine fake frames, the lipstick-applying ladies focused on the rearview mirror, the "gotta check the scores on my cell phone, bro" dudes, and — above all — the licensed-to-kill bus drivers of this fair city (if you have bad lateral movement, it's best to vacation elsewhere, trust me, crosswalks and lights are merely suggestions to these cats).

Just one mistake by someone else and it's two tons of car up against my 155 fighting pounds. As Pookie Chang once said, "you can fuck your math teacher, but you can't fuck math."

I know it's not the greatest bike in the world. It's not a loud Harley, it's not a sweet-looking Triumph, it's not a Buell crotch-rocket or a flashy BMW or anything that turns the heads of other motorcycle drivers, but I loved that bike. Few things made me happier than driving my Savage across town to Borderlands Books to see my buddies Alan and Jude, park that thing right in front between two cars, and stroll in like a gangsta (I still stoll in like a gangsta, mind you, it will just take me longer to get there).

But, the realities of life sometimes catch up with you. People get hurt. Hurt people sometimes can't work. A two-income family becomes a one-income family, and you have to circle the wagons. While I certainly hate giving up the ride, it's the smart thing to do. Brains over heart.

And now I have fewer chances of said brains winding up on the pavement. That's not a good scene for anyone.

How about you Junkies? Ever have to give up that favorite thing or that beloved hobby because of financial woes, time constraints, or just because you have kids and have to start thinking long-term life as opposed to short-term fun?

Some things speak for themselves. But, that doesn't mean I can't jibber-jab about how effing fantastic this is.

Junkies, I present the "hatching hatchling" tattoo of RevBone76, also known as Junkie Jeremy Daniels. Amazing. This is creative and very accurate to my vision of the hatchlings. The tat is, of course, an image from the novel INFECTED.

I'm always humbled when a Junkie inks up with elements of Siglerism. This time out is no exception. RevBone76, I hope you enjoy this tat your whole life long. May you be 120 years old in a nursing home, with this tat scaring the living shit out of the normals.

Junkie Jolene sent me this great picture of Baby McButter. Yes, that's his name! I love to see the Siglerism tats, and I love to see pet names inspired by my stories.

I think Jolene said it best:

"FDO, We got Baby from a friend that had bought him as a gift for his girlfriend. Baby ate more than expected, was more stubborn than expected and tore up more shoes and socks than expected. I accepted to take him in only as a last resort. The night before he was to go to the pound he came to my home instead. I was listening to Ancestor at the time so with his mighty jaw and stubborn will that everything needed to be tasted he earned the name Baby McButter. "

I see the look of evil in that half-open eye ... someone give Baby McButter a treat before he tears open Jolene's throat!

Okay, I freaking love stuff like this. Junkie Murle the Girl is an Orthodox Jew who learned about Siglerism through another member of her Synagogue (and that member learned about it through another member ... gosh, it's almost like Siglerism is contagious or something ...).

To celebrate Purim, she whipped up some blue-triangle Hamantash for her and her fellow Junkies. 

Personally? I like the top-middle one, which has clearly "fizzled" and is leaking delicious, sweet, rotting-triangle-goo onto the plate.

Sadly, I did not eat any, because the Rules of Siglerism decree that "Scott is unable to accept any foodstuffs or packages containing snacks or candy. These will be discarded untouched." 

Murle knew that and did not send any my way. She must be one smart hamantash. 

Happy Purim!

We're still working on the pitch for the NOCTURNAL television series.

First off, an update: I still don't have a contract for the option. It's a strange thing, because we're toiling away on a series bible and writers are scripting the first draft of a pilot episode. No, I still can't say who is involved. This is a demanding, fun and educational process, so we're plowing forward hoping that the deal comes through. The task itself provides sufficient reward – so, even if it falls through, A and I are learning a lot about the business, which makes it all worthwhile.

Now, onto the good stuff. On Sunday I watched THE WALKING DEAD, then Chris Hardwick's THE TALKING DEAD. His guests were Robert Kirkman (WALKING DEAD creator) and Joe Manganiello (pictured at left), an actor from the series TRUE BLOOD and the movie MAGIC MIKE. If you don't know Joe Manganiello, he's an excellent actor and a pure specimen of manliness. He's also a crazy genre fan: loves comics, loves WALKING DEAD. I thought to myself: Self, here's an action star that likes the horror, who can glower like nobody's business, and who can really sell fight scenes ... wouldn't he make a great Bryan Clauser?

(Yes, I talk to myself a lot. And I always address myself as "self," although sometimes when I fear my own powers, I say "Mr. Self," or, "Your High Holy Selfness.")

I sent my little idea to the producer, and he loved it. Awesome! We're on the same page for what might make an ideal leading actor for the NOCTURNAL series! Then the producer reminded me of a wee little detail: Manganiello is a prominent actor on a top-rated series. He's probably not looking for anything new at the moment.

Common sense, right? Hey, I'm new here, cut me some slack.

That got me to thinking of a casting director's plight. If you want a lead actor with a pedigree, especially a pedigree in the genre world, how do you find a marquee name when the marquee names are already working?

So now, little man (and/or little woman), I give the watch to you. Who do you think would make a great Bryan Clauser for a TV series?

BUT WAIT! There are rules ...

THE RULES:

1. He can't be a prominent character on a current series, unless that series is in its last season. So, no, we couldn't get a Kit Harrington or a Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (both from GAME OF THRONES).
2. He can't be an active movie star Yes, I'd shoot a Hobbit in the face to get Brad Pitt, but Brad's a little busy ... so is Channing Tatum, Will Smith, etc., etc.
3. He's got to be believeable as a bad-ass. Yes, I know that comes down to ACTING! (quick shout-out to Jon Lovitz), but I think a TV Bryan Clauser has to sell "danger." One look at this guy should make you think, "maybe I won't poke him in the chest just to see what happens."
4. He has to look the right age: 30-40. Please do not comment "Tom Selleck back in the day would be perfect!" Don't do that. Don't be that guy.
5. No, I don't want to know who is the perfect Pookie Chang. Not yet, anyway. Focus on Bryan. 
6. A name and a face we know? Packaging a series involves selling it to networks and producers. While they will go with new faces (TRUE BLOOD was full of 'em, and it's a hit), someone with TV street cred is a better pitch for us. Not a deal-breaker by any stretch, but hey, if you were investing your money in a series, wouldn't you rather have someone that people already want to see?

Have at it, my Junkies! And feel free to play off of each other's comments: if someone comes out of the blue with a great pick and you like it better than your pick, say so.

Enjoy!

PANDEMIC now available for pre-order from Amazon.com. Click here to pre-order!

For autographed copies, visit Borderlands Books. Hint: you'll have to call them or email them from that site, as they won't have a pre-order available.

We don't have a cover yet, but I promise you that the insides of this book are going to get nasty.

SYNOPSES:
Five years after the end of CONTAGIOUS, the world faces a horrific new threat that begins in Lake Michigan's deepest, darkest, coldest place. The cataclysm of the Orbital's efforts goes global — what began with a single man now threatens seven billion people.

PANDEMIC is due out October 1, 2013, from Crown Publishing.

This episode of MONSTROSITY is brought to you by our 4inkjets code page, where you can save up to 80% of off injet cartridges, laser toner, and supplies for your workplace printers and copiers. 

I saw this over at John Scalzi's Whatever blog. He's got a fascinating thing going on over there with his Racist Homophobic Dipshit issue, and in keeping up with that I came across a little narcissistic treat known as Whatdoestheinternetthink. So, of course, I had to know:

The question, of course, is what the hell am I doing wrong? I threaten the lives of everyone on a daily basis, I reveal my intention of destroying civlization, razing ever building and using the rubble to making all new structures constructed in the shape of my bald head. I promise a painful death for my most fervent fans, and this is the thanks I get? A 93% approval rating?

Poll your own meaningless thingee by clicking here.

In case you don't get (or read) our bi-weekly newsletter, or you didn't hear THE MVP Episode #16, there is no GFL hardcover pre-order this year. If you want the reasons why (and they are good reasons, trust me), then click on through. Otherwise, enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday!

Kelly the Builder continues to make work on his giant-honkin' Lego model of the PUV James Keeling. Almost four feet long and weighing in at five pounds, he's heading into the finishing touches.

What do you think, Junkies?