I know that my previous blog posts may have been a bit … caustic. Granted, someone had to curse out those infernal moving boxes, and someone had go get real about the way you humans make fun of retarded cats, but today is not about that.
Sometimes, you just got to lay the hell down. If there is grass available, even better.
I won’t lie to you pups: I’m old as hell. Sometimes that can make me surly. Other times, like today, I get all introspective. Cut me some slack — occasionally us old girls can get a bit emotional.
Your “Future Dark Øverlord” and I went to the beach today. I don’t get that close to the sand, as that loose footing will screw up a girl’s hips, but we enjoyed the nice weather and took in some fresh air. By the way, who invented sand? Someone who hated old dogs, that’s who. Yeah, I know those asshole cats (even the old ones) can walk across it all goddamn day, but when they fall they drop, what, six or seven inches? Physics is on their side. Not so much for the more advanced, larger mammals, like myself. Being higher up on the evolutionary ladder can sometimes carry a powerful price.
So today, I’m not crotchety or surly or even a little bit mean. I’m just chillin’. Warm sun on my face, cool grass on my body, a day like today is hard to beat. All you dogs out there, when the sun comes out, make sure you take your owners somewhere and just sit for a spell. Take your shoes off. Make sure you let your people know that you’re not going to be around forever, and their lives are probably too damn hectic as it is — they could stand a few hours sitting on their butts not doing a damn thing other than hanging out with you.
You know that phrase “at least I’m looking at the green side of the grass?” Shit, dawg; today, I’m laying on it. And that’s pretty hard to beat.